Am I using confession as a crutch?

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Lou_F

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I often wonder if I have a lack of trust in an odd way. Of course I trust in confession, without a doubt, however, get this: I would like to get involved in my local parish for the first time in a big way. However, I am purposely delaying to do so until I go to confession. (haven’t gone in a few months). I have no mortal sins to confess. Yet I want to be at my best before I begin this endeavor.

The easy answer is to go to confession, and be done with it, and don’t worry about it. I understand that part. But am I letting fear dictate my decision making? Am I so caught up in doing something the best way possible that I’m twisting the true meaning of the sacrament? I think if I go for this reason, I’ll be going for my intentions for God more than for offending Him or more than for fearing the consquences of my sins. I think I somehow put my intentions for Him above the true meaning of the sacrament? What do you think?

Thanks.
 
You know, I sometimes have similar kinds of thoughts too. In the final analysis I believe that if anything makes us hesitate from going to confession under what would normally be reasonable circumstances (unless you are cohabitating or if purpose of amendment is totally absent) that any source of hesitation would not ultimately come from God. As a matter of fact I mentioned something very similar to my confessor once. I confessed to him that I was worried I was “abusing” the sacrament of confession. He asked why would I would say that and that anything discouraging me from confessing would not come from God. I think that is something we can take to heart. On a side note this was a rather orthodox priest (offered TLM daily privately and absolved you in Latin). If you have doubts why not mention exactly what you posted here in confession. I’ve mentioned stuff like that before and the priest has always been helpful and appreciative that I was seeking clarity. By all means, never hesitate to confess.
 
Don’t you remember how Our Lord healed lame people and paralytics?

We are ALL spiritually lame, and the Holy Mystery of Confession, as well as the other Sacraments, are our best crutches. Why do you thionk Our Lord gave them to us?
 
Lou.

I think God’s grace calls you to both your volunteer effort and to the confessional.

It is ok to have “imperfect contrition” i.e. fearing God’s punishment. Not as good as perfect contrition, but good just the same. My pastor and another confessor has spoken on how the sacrament works on you, regardless of your internal dispostion, and there is really no definitive line between perfect and imperfect contrition. I have expressed my doubts to my confessors in the past, and I was told to not fret so much. 🙂
 
You come to your parish as a mixed bag, as God’s gifts mixed with your own poverty, some of which you are in by choice. Waiting around is not going to change this. It is being an active Catholic that perfects you, not perfection that makes you into an active Catholic! (It was mentioned to you that you will be undeniably handing God a life-long project, right? Good. 😉 )

If your contrition is imperfect, join the crowd. Resolve not just to go to confession soon, but to go on a regular basis thereafter. The sacraments, combined with a regular diet of prayer, almsgiving, and penance, is the only way I know to dispose oneself to perfection, whether it be perfection of contrition or perfection of life.

Remember that your life of service to the Church and the world are not what you do for God, but what God does for you. The father of the prodigal son did not need his sons to work his lands. He had “many servants”. He called them to work it so they would become like him. Approach the sacraments and your service as a child needing help with her crayons. Then you will be fine.
 
Since you don’t have any mortal sins to confess, the simplest solution is to begin your volunteer work immediately after going to confession… also, immediately. One should never feel worthy to step up in a parish. None of us are worthy. Just make a confession regularly whether or not you feel a need to go and you’ll be fine. If you can, find yourself a good examination of conscience list. After you read it, you’ll know what to say in confession. Once a month is sufficient for most, but if there’s a habit you’re trying to break, once a week does the task, even if it takes a couple of months of that.
 
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