An atheist who wants to believe

[Pax]

My position is similar to that of the OP. I think the most accurate description of my beliefs would be agnostic Catholic, meaning that I am a practising Catholic, but I am not convinced that Catholicism is the truth. I nearly gave up at one point, and I think it would be accurate to say I was agnostic for a few months.

Being in my mid-teens, this is an especially difficult struggle, as so much is uncertain at this point in my life. My father is agnostic, and possibly atheist now, and my mother, though a fervent Catholic, is not an intellectual. I do not feel like I can confide with her, as it is hard enough for her to have a husband who has lost his faith and have to take care of seven children’s spiritual lives (I am the oldest of them). It’s a truly difficult situation to be in, and I hope it does not last into my adulthood, as I don’t think I will be able to make choices about marriage, for instance, if I am not in a good position to pass the faith on to others.

I genuinely hope that something, or somethings, will convince me that the Catholic religion is true, but until then I am stuck in a state of continual uncertainty.

You are in my prayers. Pray hard for both faith and perseverence.

God bless.

 

[Justin61790]

So I was baptized as a Catholic and performed communion and everything else but I became an atheist about 3 years ago. I want to believe in GOD and be part of the Catholic church but I simply don’t believe that there is someone who watches over our every move. I would like to receive some advice from Catholic members on how to deal with this because I really want to think there is a GOD but I see no evidence of the existence of a GOD.

I was raised baptist and went to church until I was 18 and then lost my faith. I just couldn’t reconcile the natural world I witnessed around me with Christianity and God and the supernatural. I bounced between agnosticism and atheism and a hodgepodge of other ideas and beliefs for 6 years. But during that whole time I couldn’t shake the desire for God. And it would seem you are having trouble getting rid of that desire as well. And that is a wonderful thing. That is God weighing on you and it is your natural desire that God placed in all of us. A desire to seek him. Don’t fight it.

One thing that helped me was realizing that I don’t have to reconcile every single thing in the natural world with the spiritual world. That was a wonderful load off my back. Dinosaurs…cosmology…big bang…evolution…Etc etc. These things don’t really concern my walk with God and my faith so I just decided to not worry about it. I don’t know how dinosaurs factor into the fall of mankind and when mankind received a soul or when exactly humans evolved or in what way God enacted and guided evolution on this planet, but I have faith that he did and it all worked out and that is good enough for me.

I also had trouble with the idea that an all powerful being would care what we humans do every second of every day. It just seemed absurd but then I realized that we are his creation so of course he would care. And if he cares and does have omniscience then he must be watching us. If I had omniscience you can bet that I would constantly be keeping a check on that which I love. Wouldn’t you? So why wouldn’t God?

If you want definitive testable evidence, like the kind that comes out of a lab, for the existence of God you’re not going to find it. I demanded evidence like that at one time, and it’s just not going to be found. God is beyond nature. He is beyond time. He is beyond everything we can conceive. Our scientific instruments aren’t going to ever detect a being like God. Wanting evidence like that is doing nothing but hindering you. If you want to believe in God then believe in God. Have a little faith. Just a bit. Trust God. And take it one day at a time.

If you are wondering how God could allow such bad things to happen, just remember that God as his reasons. He is outside of time and knows what will happen past future and present. He has a far better context for everything than we do. So while it might seem wrong or awful to us, to God it all makes sense. He has his reasons. This goes back to having faith, and trusting him.

Idk if this post helps at all, but I sincerely hope it does in some way and I wish you the very best and will pray for you and may God help you and bless you. Welcome to the community!

 

[Another_Andrew]

To Another Andrew:
I spend 30yrs. reading the Bible and I read some things that seem to contradict and my thoughts on these seemingly contradictions bothered my mind so I decided on the only course of action was to ask God. I said " Lord I’m a bit confused about what I’m reading in your Word and some of it seems to be contradictions but I read in 1 Corinthians Chap. 14 verse 33: For God is not the author of confusion. Lord there must be gifted men in this present day that you gifted with wisdom and knowledge just as you did the Apostles whom you inspired to write the Scriptures. So there must be books in this present day that you inspired gifted men to write to understand the Scriptures. I said to the Lord " Please take this confusion from my mind and show me a book or books in this present day that you inspired gifted men to write about the understanding of the Scriptures.
I went to the Book and Bible store in my hometown and when I step into the store something was telling I would find my answers here(I was led by the Holy Spirit).
I was driven my something(led by the Holy Spirit) to read many books in that store.
I spent hours upon hours never quite satisfied until I laid my hands on this book: THE EPISTLE TO THE ROMANS by JOHN MURRAY.
The book captivated me I was totally immerse in it (I was on the edge of my seat reading it inspired by the Holy Spirit) and it took a lot of the confusion from my mind.
If you do purchase it you have to read every page in order to put the Bible in perspective.

Thank you, I’ll look into it. In what way did the book answer your questions if it was only about one book of the Bible? Does the author delve into broader topics, or did this just answer enough questions that you were set back on the path to clarity?