Anger - What is it and how do I deal with it?

[BarbaraTherese]

I came across a very interesting psychology site. I have had someone check the site out and it falls in line with Catholic doctrine and teaching.

Anger to me is the frustration of my conscious and unconscious desires to put it in a nutshell. I deal with it (not always successful, however) by acknowledging that I am angry and by recognizing in myself that at the seat of my anger is a desire to hurt the other perhaps because I feel they have hurt me. Thus although I strive to own my own anger and recognize it for what it is, I also strive to detach my actions from it and not react to it and especially by any form of ‘pay back’ or revenge. That’s it in a real nutshell.

But here is a link to the site above that deals with the whole subject of anger:

guidetopsychology.com/anger.htm

Since anger is a universal human emotion and how to deal with it may well be a spiritual question if I am striving to live a spiritual life, I thought others may have some interest in discussing it.

Barb
Sth Aust

 

[Honoria20]

Anger for me, when boiled down, is really my pride. How do I deal with it? Not very well most of the time as it is something that I really have to work on in my spiritual life if I am going to grow at all. I say many “Mea Culpas” everyday and ask God’s Grace to overcome this fault and failing.

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Honoria20:

Anger for me, when boiled down, is really my pride. How do I deal with it? Not very well most of the time as it is something that I really have to work on in my spiritual life if I am going to grow at all. I say many “Mea Culpas” everyday and ask God’s Grace to overcome this fault and failing.

Hello Honoria20…with the attitude you have I am very confident you will arrive at where you would like to be, where The Lord wants and needs you to be. God’s Grace is never lacking I am most sure where honesty and prayer are concerned.
Often if we understand something, it can help us to deal with it and in understanding it we disarm its intensity simply because we can insight what it is all about. The article in the link below which deals with anger does insight what it is and how we can quite positively turn it into a spiritual plus as it were. Here’s the link again for your convenience:

guidetopsychology.com/anger.htm

Thank you very much for your comments and indeed honesty and wise response. I too am only a struggler along the way often falling short of my own concepts and ideals…sinner to the end! “even the just man falls seventy times seven” and I am most sure I dont even approximate a just person.
Here is a quotation from the link, it may spark some interest maybe even tho it may not apply to you…
**

** "you suppress the awareness of your honest inner experiences. If you do this often enough you can end up convincing yourself that everything is fine and peaceful. In this case the hurt becomes anger anyway**

, only it becomes* unconscious anger*: you remain hurt while the desire to hurt the other person gets pushed into your unconscious where it stews in bitter resentment. And so, in reality, you are just deceiving yourself and defiling your relationships when you deny that you have anything to feel hurt about. And before you know it you’re wondering why you’re so depressed. Depression, after all, is often “anger turned inwards”—that is, you end up hurting yourself because you feel guilty for wanting to hurt someone else." **

Regards Honoria20 - Barb
South Aust.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Barb, I don’t think you have any anger, except that tiny bit which you have not been able to deprogram out of yet. It is not in your heart, but in your perception as you keep trying to acquit those who have taught you to be angry.

It’s OK. If you can’t acquit them, then Christ did so you need not fear for them by carrying around their old ghosts. They have no power, and I just plain don’t see it – then again how good a judge of character can I claim to be?

I pray that you may be completely relieved of, and without further resort, to this anger.

Alan

 

[awalt]

To me, (and this helps me cope with it), anger is Love of Self. Jesus teaches Love of God and neighbor. Almost any angry moment is driven of love of self, similar to your definition as pride.

 

[BarbaraTherese]

AlanFromWichita:

Barb, I don’t think you have any anger, except that tiny bit which you have not been able to deprogram out of yet. It is not in your heart, but in your perception as you keep trying to acquit those who have taught you to be angry.

It’s OK. If you can’t acquit them, then Christ did so you need not fear for them by carrying around their old ghosts. They have no power, and I just plain don’t see it – then again how good a judge of character can I claim to be?

I pray that you may be completely relieved of, and without further resort, to this anger.

Alan

Howdy Alan…please do keep praying. Obviously, you have never seen me or heard me when I loose my cool ! Such occurances do trigger me to ponder: “Where did all that come from?” Where does it come from? Frustration or blocking of my own desires. And a telling statement: I want my own way with a degree of ardour! I know what’s going on inside of me and dont find it hard to get at all which comes from 30 years in and out of a psychiatrist’s office …one get’s quite practised in tapping into onself and it becomes an easy matter. In fact tends to rise into consciousness with ease. All that is great from one perspective, but how do I solve the problem? “nothing but the Grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ”.

Having been raised in a strict Catholic home and educated by nuns and then into a Convent and after that marrying a man who could not cope with anger…his own and certainly not that of another…I repressed my own. When it exploded into the light for the first time in a psychiatrist’s office more or less…I was the most surprised, shocked and indeed frightened. I had never ever lost my temper previously - NEVER! My doctor however laughed, stating: “Well, well! I have been expecting this”. I had not, not at all.

I have found the technique recommended by Anthony de Mello SJ in dealing with both temptation and also emotions as very helpful. One does not fight it***, recommends de Mello, rather simply say to oneself : “Mmmmm, interesting! I feel very angry”. While such does not always work for me as a stumble along, very often to rest in the acknowledgement of my own self, will disarm and take the edge from the temptation or emotion. De Mello recommends not to fight but to understand and see through the whatever. Personally, I find this entirely helpful.

Barb, I don’t think you have any anger, except that tiny bit which you have not been able to deprogram out of yet. It is not in your heart, but in your perception as you keep trying to acquit those who have taught you to be angry.

Quite correct from another perspective in the above Alan…I can find authority figures problematic to me but I do recognize why and rooted in my past and useless baggage in this now. Be that as it may I respect authority figures: “All authority comes from God” says St. Paul. At times anger is entirely justified and expression of it as Jesus revealed in the clearing of the temple. The problem as it were is one of discernment. How can I know if my anger is justified or not…and that may ask a certain level of detachment from the anger itself to permit logic and indeed the gentleness of The Holy Spirit to inform…also the deprograming you mention…but often I cannot be sure that I am indeed justified. It is most rare for me to put a full stop after myself or another, which means end of story. Finished. Complete. The End. My journey with anger now and then is an ongoing matter in getting it into its rightful perspective in the scheme of things…no full stop after it. As I know you do recognize to deprogram something programmed or conditioned into the self takes time and is a process.
Thank you for the comments Alan. …and please do remember me in prayer…and my anger…

Regards, Barb
***De Mello is not recommending at all ‘investment’ in a temptation or emotion…rather acceptance of it and owning it as one’s own and to see the why of it and to ponder what to do about it. These two latter dispositions do ask a measure of detachment since who can exercise logic when a temptation or emotion is ‘on the boil’? (or as de Mello states “understanding and seeing through it”).

 

[BarbaraTherese]

awalt:

To me, (and this helps me cope with it), anger is Love of Self. Jesus teaches Love of God and neighbor. Almost any angry moment is driven of love of self, similar to your definition as pride.

Hi there Awalt…excellent and insightful comment to my mind. Very often and perhaps almost always if not always, my anger rises through my own love of self and some disposition of that self that I need to look at. Often what we do tend to do is attempt to justify our anger as another person’s problem and entirely justified in us when the truth of the matter is that some attitude of mine or perspective created the anger.
If say someone should hit me, of course they are very wrong. But my anger which rises, rises out of my disposition that they have no right to hit me, which is true - but the anger has risen from me nevertheless.
If someone should say hit me and I am angry without even thinking - a spontaneous reaction to being hit. I have internalized or been conditioned to think that to hit me is wrong. The anger then though spontaneous and unthought of, still rises from within me.
We need to own our own selfhood which is spiritually and psychologically healthy according to both sciences…and good common sense too.

Excellent comment to my mind Awalt and put from a beautiful perspective on matters. Thank you.

Barb

 

[ncjohn]

I tend to look at the immediate reaction of anger as an instinctive defense mechanism. Something threatens or hurts us and our “internal wiring” sets off alarms and reactions. To me the issue is what we do after that initial instinctive reaction.

Our natural instincts will seek to punish the guy in the car that cut us off, the person who insulted us, the hammer that made our thumb throb, or the video game that has just beaten us yet again. We might “get even” by insulting the person back, “flipping them off”, throwing the offending golf club in the lake, or punching a hole in the wall, or maybe by taking it out on a completely innocent person (or maybe the dog!) who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Over time, I have gotten to the point where my reactions to these situations have decreased somewhat in general, but not always. What has improved in most cases is my ability, after a bit of reasoned thought, to just kind of laugh at my reactions, apologize for that reaction if necessary, and move on.

The exception to that seems to be the situation of ongoing hurt, where some person is persistently in a position to make my life miserable, either intentionally, compulsively, or unknowingly. Trying to figure out how to deal with these type of challenges has been my real cross to bear in the anger department, especially in a work setting where I don’t have the option of eliminating the potential conflict.

Prayer helps some, as does avoiding unnecessary contact. Being assertive without being aggressive or antagonistic seems to work better than the passive-aggressive approach that comes more naturally to me. There continues to be that one small group of people though that can just “push my buttons!” I just don’t understand why God didn’t make them as perfect as me!

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Quoting NCJohn…

I tend to look at the immediate reaction of anger as an instinctive defense mechanism. Something threatens or hurts us and our “internal wiring” sets off alarms and reactions. To me the issue is what we do after that initial instinctive reaction.

Hi John…I agree that there is such a thing as immediate reaction of anger that is not consciously and deliberately premeditated in any way, rather spontaneous. The ‘fight or flight’ mechanism in which ‘fight’ is ‘chosen’ subconsciously in our immediate anger. Why does one person react instinctively with ‘fight’ while another ‘flight’…and this can be entirely in the subconscious.

The exception to that seems to be the situation of ongoing hurt, where some person is persistently in a position to make my life miserable, either intentionally, compulsively, or unknowingly. Trying to figure out how to deal with these type of challenges has been my real cross to bear in the anger department, especially in a work setting where I don’t have the option of eliminating the potential conflict.

In the above instance I tend towards the problem is not in the other person, no matter what upsetting matters they may be about. The problem is in me and my perspective and attitudes about the person or what they may be doing. Why does one person for example react angrily to such situations? Why does the other person laugh when the same derogatory comments say are directed every bit as much at them as me?..because of their internal attitudes and perspectives. I cannot change others unless they want to change or grant me permission to facilitate change in them. But I am completley free to change myself.

Prayer helps some, as does avoiding unnecessary contact. Being assertive without being aggressive or antagonistic seems to work better than the passive-aggressive approach that comes more naturally to me. There continues to be that one small group of people though that can just “push my buttons!”

Prayer is often a very silent and hidden worker - but a worker nevertheless and an entirely constructive one.
Why can a person ‘push my buttons’? Because I have buttons to push. I can change those buttons or eliminate them through my perspectives and attitudes…may take time and perhaps a lot of time - but it is a feasible goal. I cannot change others unless they want to change or grant permission for another to facilitate change.

As this entirely fallible creature reads things…

I just don’t understand why God didn’t make them as perfect as me!

Know THAT feeling! It aint me, it’s everyone else!:whacky:

Regards John…Barb
Great to catch up with you on CAF!

 

[springbreeze]

Dear Barb

Pride is the sin of sins and every sin begins with pride.

Anger is not always necessarily a sin, there is just anger, Jesus was angry in the temple and set about destroying stalls and setting animals free. To know if we are justly angry we must reflect deeply and assess the reasons and source of our anger.

Unjust anger is linked very closely to pride and forgiveness. It is impossible to remain angry with someone once a person has forgiven them. The anger that remains then is anger at a ‘situation’ or the injustice of a situation. Still this has some measure of pride in it and a forgetting of the unjustness Jesus was treated with and Jesus does require suffering souls united to His Cross and offering in Victimhood. Who then are we to not be treated unjustly, to not be treated with malice and to not be rejected and scorned if the Lord of the Universe was treated as such? What is good enough for our Lord to embrace without complaint or anger is good enough for us to embrace and soak up in love.

God is slow to anger though He remains angry at the sin and injustice of humans in the world He so lovingly made in His image, yet He is merciful and His anger is held back by the love of the Son, so we too then have no right to dwell and seethe in anger when the Lord is so merciful, we too must forgive.

If we have enough anger to mutter under our breath and complain this is the smaller anger that leads men to kill men at the other end of the scale and so those to whom greater graces have been given and therefore are able to, by God’s grace, chose God and not sin should be merciful and kind to those who inflict sin upon the world as all of us are sinners and all sin is offensive to God.

I recently posted a poll on patience, the thread fizzled out I’m sorry to say because these days most sins arise out of anger in this violent world and anger is the opposite end of patience. I was hoping people could speak about patience and how they practice this virtue but there was little response, however if I had posted a thread about anger and/or violence a sin against the Ten Commandments ‘Thou shalt not commit murder’ (and to my mind anger is the ‘murder’ of peace; internal and external peace, the peace of Christ Jesus) I am noticing I would have had a better response and I think this speaks greatly to me about our damaged world. The threads that are greatly successful tend to be the ones that deal with the ‘edgy’ subjects and those that fade into dust are those that seek out virtue. Having said all of that by looking at the sin, it is always possible by God’s grace to seek out virtue.

50% of the battle is recognising the sin in ourselves and the other 50% is praying for the graces and being open and receptive to the graces to cease that sin. It never does any good to think that we cannot conquer that sin, we must put on the mind of Christ and believe all things are possible in Him and every sin is conquered in Him. Positive thought, to desire to be one of His Saints, to be His likeness, to be a Christ bearer to others and not to desire this for the ‘self’ but to desire it for love of God and love of each other.

God Bless you Barb and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Hi Teresa! Good to catch up with you again! I have had to edit quotations from your post in the interests of word count: apologies!

Basically I agree with your Post with a few comments.

Pride is the sin of sins…
Anger is not always necessarily a sin

I absolutely agree that at the root of all sin is pride or self love, for sin is to choose against God and for self. Self love. Absoltely there is a just anger, as there is a just war. I agree too that to insight if my anger is just then I need think and pray with care and one cannot think peacefully and carefully if emotions are on the boil which more or less anger is, hence I need to be able to detach myself from my anger to establish myself in peace, prayer and pondering.

It is impossible to remain angry with someone once a person has forgiven them.

Agree here too in the sense of the fullness of forgiveness. But I may be able only to forgive in a spiritual sense, while my anger and emotional state may remain for a time. There is however a ‘transformation of feeling’ which eventually takes place and my forgiveness is total. Of course God can grant that gift where the moment my spirit moves in forgiveness, my anger dissipates too.

…when the Lord is so merciful…

I hold that God’s Loving Mercy flows from His Justice. He insights with compassionate merciful love the heart of his creatures which is inclined to sin through original sin “Oh Lord that you be without reproach when you judge, oh see a sinner was I conceived” (Divine Office). Not only this, but the mercy I ask from The Lord is the mercy that I owe to others. If I beg God to pardon me my sins and failings, why do I not pardon other theirs or their imagined perhaps offences against me. “the mercy metered out is the measure of mercy granted”. But then again “why is it that I find myself doing the things I have made up my mind not to do?” St. Paul insights with clarity his own weaknesses. Or what St. Teresa calls, advising her nuns to never forget it, self knowledge and with a degree of accuracy.

I recently posted a poll on patience, the thread fizzled out…

Very often reality does not meet our expections, but which is correct the reality that transpires or our expections? Of course the reality because our hopes were only our hopes unmet. “all things work together for those that love God”. We need to see even in failure (after all your hopes for the thread were good hopes) that The Lord is with us…not only with me but with all. Mysteriously to our own insight, God is at work for good even in our failures. For one thing they can teach us much about ‘the plans of mice and men’ and the reality of what God brings about or permits and we need to see that as entirely positive and good over and against our desires. There is another insightful saying: “man proposes God disposes”. Even in human or even spiritual failure we need to see if in only dark Faith that God is working and it is good and I am joyful.

however if I had posted a thread about anger …

I think you are seeing matters from your perspective and one assessment angle. Perhaps others are more concerned about their failures and the threads they answer tends to reflect this concern. Perhaps your own perspective on matters may indicate to gauge your threads towards the negative aspect of the corresponding virtue, which would enable you to point out the virtue as the thread unfolds. You have taken it seems to me the first step in problem solving: What is the problem?..you have assessed what you think the problem is and the next step is how do I address that problem? And it really is a problem from your perspective and thus, tho I truly mean no offence, it is a problem of your own that you need to solve, after all the posters may not be able to perceive your perspective or find it a valid one. But if you gauge the post differently, you will I am sure have opportunity to point out the corresponding virtue. It is a very interesting concept in theology that we only see connected vices with clarity once we are gifted the corresponding virtue.

50% of the battle is recognising the sin in ourselves and the other 50% is praying for the graces and being open and receptive to the graces to cease that sin. It never does any good to think that we cannot conquer that sin, we must put on the mind of Christ and believe all things are possible in Him and every sin is conquered in Him. Positive thought, to desire to be one of His Saints, to be His likeness, to be a Christ bearer to others and not to desire this for the ‘self’ but to desire it for love of God and love of each other.

One comment while agreeing with above, we cannot overcome sin of ourselves as I am sure that your realize, only the free and unearnt gift of God in Grace can achieve this as you indicated.

Regards Teresa: Barb

 

[ncjohn]

BarbaraTherese:

In the above instance I tend towards the problem is not in the other person, no matter what upsetting matters they may be about. The problem is in me and my perspective and attitudes about the person or what they may be doing. Why does one person for example react angrily to such situations? Why does the other person laugh when the same derogatory comments say are directed every bit as much at them as me?..because of their internal attitudes and perspectives. I cannot change others unless they want to change or grant me permission to facilitate change in them. But I am completley free to change myself.

Regards John…Barb
Great to catch up with you on CAF!

Of course I know this is true Barb, that I can’t change anyone else, although the attempt is to help in a “nice” way to help them realize the hurt they are causing. The one particular person I have problems with is at heart a good person. When it comes to her dealings with me however, it is all sarcasm, backbiting, gossip, etc. When it has been pointed out to her tactfully that this doesn’t square with her Christian profession however, she goes into denial that she does any such things. That’s why I had the qualifier of whether it is “intentional, compulsive, or unknowing.” I had the same problem with my father for much of my life, who could be incredibly viscious but never saw that in himself–or at least could not admit it if he did.

You’re right that in the end we can’t change anyone else, only ourselves. I work on that part, hoping to lead by example. Being human though, I reach the point occasionally where I’ve been poked in the eye as many times as I can take at the moment. I just don’t seem to be able to let myself hang on the cross to the death.

Good to catch up with you here again. You always cause me to ponder things and usually help me come out of the other end of the tunnel better for that.

Good to see Teresa again too!

Peace,

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Hi there John…

Of course I know this is true Barb, that I can’t change anyone else, although the attempt is to help in a “nice” way to help them realize the hurt they are causing. The one particular person I have problems with is at heart a good person. When it comes to her dealings with me however, it is all sarcasm, backbiting, gossip, etc. When it has been pointed out to her tactfully that this doesn’t square with her Christian profession however, she goes into denial that she does any such things. That’s why I had the qualifier of whether it is “intentional, compulsive, or unknowing.” I had the same problem with my father for much of my life, who could be incredibly viscious but never saw that in himself–or at least could not admit it if he did.

In reality, while an ideal speaks for itself, the practise of that ideal in myself falls far short and perhaps often. I can well recall when I was accused of theft, the intense anger I felt at a blight on my reputation triggered in me. Nor could I get command of that anger, tho repeating often to myself that my anger was my problem. I could sight too that God had permitted the situation because He intended to bring a greater good out of it and that I should be ideally rejoicing in that knowledge. My fury remained nor could I get control of it. I could clearly sight that the problem was my reaction to the accusation and not the other person who accused me. Still no command of my anger. In other words I kept missing my mark … and the interpretation of the word ‘sin’ which is drawn from Greek. Tho I wanted to deny it the evidence (anger) spoke for itself - at some level I was choosing self (self love/pride as I think Teresa pointed out) and not God.
Hence, while I may sight an ideal, in practise I fall short of my own ideals.
In your own situation and indeed as in any, you have analysed what the problem is and you have also determined how you can address it and your response seems to me to flow from love of the person for gentle and tactful correction can be a part of love or Charity…and tho the following is not connection with your Post at all, in that determination we do need to take into account our own limitations and that is what I did not point out in my Post and should have. I was remiss in that. For a part of wisdom I think is to know my limitations and that God calls me to live within them tho engaged in a struggle to overcome.

You’re right that in the end we can’t change anyone else, only ourselves. I work on that part, hoping to lead by example. Being human though, I reach the point occasionally where I’ve been poked in the eye as many times as I can take at the moment. I just don’t seem to be able to let myself hang on the cross to the death.

Smiling John…you reflect Jesus clearing the temple - “poked in the eye as many times…” as He could take and He lost his cool and cleared the temple. I was very remiss in my Post not to point out my own shortcomings and falling short of my own ideals. Nothing quite so bad as a person always quoting ideals at others, while allowing herself to fall short of them, but not the other!

Good to catch up with you here again. You always cause me to ponder things and usually help me come out of the other end of the tunnel better for that.

As you do for me John…your very real humility shines pointing out to my my own shortcomings. I am a soapbox-er John!
I can see my own shortcomings even as I write this Post…and yet cannot seem to amend and am reminded of St. Paul that only Grace can set me straight and can also sight that perhaps God has indeed granted me the Grace and I am unfaithful.

It is good to hash things out and move hopefully closer to the truth of matters or the realities of a situation for truth and reality find fulfillment in Ultimate Truth and Reality.

Good to see Teresa again too!

…for sure!..

Regards John, Barb
Edit: I knew there was something in your Post that was niggling at me. A reread of your Post brought it to light:

hoping to lead by example

Thanks for that John…now a ponder prayfully…

 

[BarbaraTherese]

As Teresa pointed out, the corresponding virtue to anger is patience with myself and others. I posed the question opening this thread as more or less how to deal with anger and patience to me sure is a way to deal with it. A quick search of my files, came up with this quotation from St. Gregory the Great although Teresa (Springbreeze)may have more on the subject of patience than me and indeed other contributors to this thread may have sources or thoughts…

http://landru.i-link-2.net/shnyves/sayings.html

For to despise the present age, not to love transitory things,
unreservedly to stretch out the mind in humility to God and our
neighbor,
to preserve patience against offered insults and, with
patience guarded, to repel the pain of malice from the heart,
to give one’s property to the poor, not to covet that of others, to
esteem the friend in God, on God’s account to love even those who
are hostile, to mourn at the affliction of a neighbor, not to
exult in the death of one who is an enemy, this is the new
creature whom the Master of the nations seeks with watchful eye
amid the other disciples, saying:“If, then, any be in Christ a new
creature, the old things are passed away. Behold all things are
made new” (2 Cor. 5:17).

(St. Gregory The Great)

Barb

 

[Gottle_of_Geer]

BarbaraTherese:

I came across a very interesting psychology site. I have had someone check the site out and it falls in line with Catholic doctrine and teaching.

Anger to me is the frustration of my conscious and unconscious desires to put it in a nutshell. I deal with it (not always successful, however) by acknowledging that I am angry and by recognizing in myself that at the seat of my anger is a desire to hurt the other perhaps because I feel they have hurt me. Thus although I strive to own my own anger and recognize it for what it is, I also strive to detach my actions from it and not react to it and especially by any form of ‘pay back’ or revenge. That’s it in a real nutshell.

But here is a link to the site above that deals with the whole subject of anger:

guidetopsychology.com/anger.htm

Since anger is a universal human emotion and how to deal with it may well be a spiritual question if I am striving to live a spiritual life, I thought others may have some interest in discussing it.

Barb
Sth Aust

Get yourself:​

• 1. a dartboard
• 1. a box of darts
• 1. a card or picture representing what annoys you most

Make copies of the picture

Let the picture be small enough to fit in the centre of the board without covering any of the triple score sections.

Fix the picture or card or whatever it may be, using a short, light nail with a sharp point and a flat head.

Take up a dart with the right hand (unless you are left-handed or ambi-dextrous)

Stand well back - about eight feet, is a desirable distance

Throw the darts at the centre of the board,

This should help with the anger, and foster a sense of achievement, and give exercise, all at once. ##

 

[BarbaraTherese]

## Get yourself:

• 1. a dartboard
• 1. a box of darts
• 1. a card or picture representing what annoys you most

Make copies of the picture

Let the picture be small enough to fit in the centre of the board without covering any of the triple score sections.

Fix the picture or card or whatever it may be, using a short, light nail with a sharp point and a flat head.

Take up a dart with the right hand (unless you are left-handed or ambi-dextrous)

Stand well back - about eight feet, is a desirable distance

Throw the darts at the centre of the board,

This should help with the anger, and foster a sense of achievement, and give exercise, all at once. ##

Hi Michael…laughing! I am reminded of my psychiatrist when I was lamenting my fury at being accused of theft telling me that she keeps broken or cracked crockery and when her hubby and children see her down the back gleefully breaking crockery by throwing with gusto into the rubbish bin, that the best thing to do is to leave her alone to deal with her frustrations and anger. Entirely, she told me, theraputic from a psychological angle and way of dealing with anger without becoming socially negative in behaviour.

Good point, Michael and therapeutic my doc would say!..and thank you for touching mother earth and allowing me to do so (well for a while anyway! )…and in an entirely humourous but absolutely practical way.

There is also a good homily from Mother Abbess of Jamberoo Benedictine Monastery here in Jamberoo Australia about falling short of our ideals etc…here’s the link. I was on the way to Post it into this thread Michael, when I came across your Post - I think I will get a dart board etc. for my pride centred anger when I cannot meet my own ideals and often…

http://www.jamberooabbey.org.au/homilies/Homilies.html

I am quoting from the homily in part only…

“………….We are all weak; We are all strong. It depends upon what aspect of the life we are considering! I will give only one illustration of my meaning and you can then apply it across the whole spectrum of the life……………”