anger

[englishredrose]

This actually sound passive-aggressive. I can’t tell God how I feel, but I can show Him. In a comparable worldly situation that’s like if my wife can’t tell me what I did that bothers her, although she can yell at me or give me the silent treatment or cut me off in bed or whatever. And if I ask what’s wrong she says, “oh nothing.” I know a lot of couples can relate to that, and it is not a fun relationship characteristic to have. We’ve had shades of these problems all along, but in 27 years we’ve done everything we can to outgrow them. So now if I can’t explain to her what my problem is with her, or what I’m asking her to do differently, then a demonstration to her would amount to a temper tantrum, and it tends to increase the problems with the relationship rather than improve them.

But wait – you can’t say with words, why? Because you can’t find descriptive words, or because you can’t talk to God like that? If it’s because of the words, then I understand. But if you can’t talk to God like that, then I think it would only be proper to avoid taking any action against him. Because I guess the idea would be to hurt Him in some arbitrary way and expect Him to figure out what you don’t want to explain. That way it’s all on Him to fix it and if He doesn’t read your mind and change His behavior to accommodate your unspoken concerns, that justifies you in becoming even angrier. I don’t see that as a fix.

Alan

You have a point.

I will explain in that I have always founded worded prayer difficult in that God knows anyway and that for me it feels like its going nowhere. That is what I told this current priest when had a chat with him.

True, I cannot tell God anything and beginning to have my own theory on that. It isn’t just God. I can’t talk to people when it matters especially about feelings etc. I dry up. It isn’t like it is in my mind and can’t come out with it. It simply isn’t there. The short of the long of it, of my theory is that in January I was given a little light of hope as such in that I am Aspergers. Which could explain not only I find it hard to talk ie as in counselling talk but I can’t talk to God either. Last year my priest showed me other ways of praying that don’t require talking. I am simply being with God. I am building on that now through contemplative prayer but leaving the intercessionary prayer out. I am not talking to hurt God. I can’t do it. So yes it could look like am being passively angry but in trueth I really cannot do intercessionary prayer and talk to God. But through a patient priest I have finally had God made accessible to me and made a world of difference. So whilst I can’t talk to God, I can show God or try to show God. I can’t email God like I do the priest. Which is my way of talking to the priest. I email him and say what I like… That is the closest I get to talking to God. I can write things down like this but got me in person I would dry up and you wouldn’t know what I think etc…

So from what you say and in fairness that would be very right. But in light of Aspergers and own way of meeting God, it isn’t just teenage/marital dispute tantrums stuff. I really cannot talk to God and there are times I wish I could. I just can’t. After 25 years (of church from 15 year old to now…)at least I now have a priest who lets me email him as such and like I say, that is my way of talking to the priest even. I can’t talk to God about the good bits either not just the bad bits. But I do enjoy being with God and love that.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

So from what you say and in fairness that would be very right. But in light of Aspergers and own way of meeting God, it isn’t just teenage/marital dispute tantrums stuff. I really cannot talk to God and there are times I wish I could. I just can’t. After 25 years at least I now have a priest who lets me email him as such and like I say, that is my way of talking to the priest even. I can’t talk to God about the good bits either not just the bad bits. But I do enjoy being with God and love that.

I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying contemplative prayer. Actually contemplative prayer is a very intimate sharing with God, which is actually more “naked” if you will, than even putting your feelings into words. Especially if you put them into words and then they just don’t seem right or something. With contemplative prayer, we open our minds and hearts to God, without our usual defenses of (human) logic, reason, and verbal processing.

No doubt as you continue to invite and receive healing from your contemplative work, this will become easier on you. Either you won’t have the same sort of anger experience against God, or if you do, then you can describe it honestly but still respectful to the Lord. Or preferably Both of the Above.

The ultimate thing we’re after is Divine Union, or at least that’s what I’m after. Contemplation, invited by your contemplative prayer, can transform you until you actually have this experience. About then you will be born of the spirit, and into the kingdom, even while you are still here on earth. That is when you will see Truth as the mystics see it, not as the world shows it to you. I know that is all possible, and unless you disagree with it I pray this happens for you.

And once you’re in the kingdom, even the things that go wrong start to make sense as to why they happen, and you can see how God has used them in forming you how you are. So this all becomes a non-problem.

Alan

 

[odile53]

I have done the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, and when first guided through them by a now deceased Jesuit spiritual director, I was spouting off some pious garbage about an infuriating situation in my life, when Father interrupted me and said, “Odile, do you ever sometimes feel that God is a real a--------?” (and he actually used the word.) And I had to admit that yes, I did feel exactly that way.

I was told to express my anger toward God about situations, and my own frustration with myself, however I could express that anger, either verbally, or even physically. When I got home that night I built a fire in the fire pit in the backyard and danced my version of a war dance, yelling at God. (For the rest of the summer, when one neighbor saw me come out of the house, she went inside quickly, but that’s another story.)

Guess what? I didn’t get struck down by lightning, I didn’t keel over from a sudden heart attack, nothing horrible happened. And I had a deep feeling afterward of God saying to me, “Good! Now you’re finally getting honest with Me! Go ahead and yell, I’m big enough to handle it!”

Any relationship, including a relationship with God, has to be built on honesty, otherwise it’s phony. And a deepening friendship with God means that sometimes we get upset with Him. He already knows that, but wants us to tell Him about it. And He gives us the graces and the inspiration to work through all that stuff. We actually have all the tools already–prayer, scripture, meditation, and good works. He will show us how to use those tools if we let Him.

Anger is part of any loving relationship: When we become angry, it is because we care enough to become angry. It is a passion, and can be turned toward a passionate love of God.

So go ahead: Let Him know about it. He already knows, anyways. And He will help you through it, if you want Him to.

 

[englishredrose]

I have done the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, and when first guided through them by a now deceased Jesuit spiritual director, I was spouting off some pious garbage about an infuriating situation in my life, when Father interrupted me and said, “Odile, do you ever sometimes feel that God is a real a--------?” (and he actually used the word.) And I had to admit that yes, I did feel exactly that way.

I was told to express my anger toward God about situations, and my own frustration with myself, however I could express that anger, either verbally, or even physically. When I got home that night I built a fire in the fire pit in the backyard and danced my version of a war dance, yelling at God. (For the rest of the summer, when one neighbor saw me come out of the house, she went inside quickly, but that’s another story.) reply back later as running out of time but you made me laugh here.

Guess what? I didn’t get struck down by lightning, I didn’t keel over from a sudden heart attack, nothing horrible happened. And I had a deep feeling afterward of God saying to me, “Good! Now you’re finally getting honest with Me! Go ahead and yell, I’m big enough to handle it!”

Any relationship, including a relationship with God, has to be built on honesty, otherwise it’s phony. And a deepening friendship with God means that sometimes we get upset with Him. He already knows that, but wants us to tell Him about it. And He gives us the graces and the inspiration to work through all that stuff. We actually have all the tools already–prayer, scripture, meditation, and good works. He will show us how to use those tools if we let Him.

Anger is part of any loving relationship: When we become angry, it is because we care enough to become angry. It is a passion, and can be turned toward a passionate love of God.

So go ahead: Let Him know about it. He already knows, anyways. And He will help you through it, if you want Him to.