Angry at the church

  • Thread starter Thread starter Amberhoney
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Amberhoney

Guest
I am so angry with the Catholic Church. I was a Protestant and my husband is a Catholic that left the church when he was 11 or 12 years old. So when we got married in a park by a Jp in a civil marriage. The thing that ticks me off, is that the Catholic Church made us get remarried in the church without even asking why we did what we did. Just you’re a sinner especially your husband because he’s Catholic so you need to get remarried in the church! Our Priest even said that we have not been married for the last 18 years! The thing that really makes me angry is that the church takes zero responsibility for not educating my husband for the first 12 years of his life about his obligations, but he’s the sinner? We got the convalidation because we wanted to enter the church and have the Eucharist, but in no way did I believe we need the convalidation! I don’t need anyone on here saying that we need to believe everything or why would we want to be Catholic, because that is an ignorant comment. The Catholic Church is the only place you can get the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, that’s why. . . .

I want to go back to my Protestant church and give up being a Catholic, but they won’t let me give up my Catholic status. I guess I just quietly go to a Protestant church without telling anyone? I’m so sad, because I like the Catholic Church in so many ways, but hate the red tape. What kind of “church” needs a canon lawyer? . . .
 
Last edited:
Amberhoney said:
Nowhere in the bible does it say that! What God has joined together let no man put asunder, not what a Catholic priest puts together!!!
Click to expand...
It sounds like you have not been educated in what the Sacrament of Marriage means in the Catholic Church. If someone has attempted to educate you, it has been poorly understood.
The priest is a witness to the Rite. Please both of you go and ask what the Sacrament of Marriage is and does, ask your husband’s Priest.
Your anger stems from not understanding , and in trying to understand, applying Protestant theology where it does not fit or belong.
Catholics are not
Amberhoney said:
Nowhere in the bible does it say that!
Click to expand...
Bible alone.
Catholic theology holds the framework of Sacred Scripture and Tradition.
Amberhoney said:
Anyway I was so angry I called our chancellor and got our “Catholic Marriage “ annulled and then got a radical sensation instead
Click to expand...
A catholic marriage can only be annulled by a tribunal, not a chancellor.
I am not sure what you mean here.
Amberhoney said:
What kind of “church” needs a canon lawyer?
Click to expand...
A Church that wants to be legal and fair.
 
Last edited:
The Sacrament of Marriage is administered by the couple, that is you and your husband.

Who administers this sacrament?​

A sacrament, as we know, is an outward sign that confers an inner grace.

In the sacrament of Matrimony, the outward sign is the exchange of marital consent on the part of a baptized man and a baptized woman. In other words the couple who are getting married administer the sacrament of Matrimony to each other.

It is not correct to say (although we often do) that “John and Mary were married by the priest.” More correctly we should say, “John and Mary married each other in the presence of the priest.”

The priest cannot administer the sacrament of Matrimony; only the contracting couple can do that. The priest (or deacon) is simply the official witness, representing Christ and Christ’s Church. The priest’s presence is normally essential; without him there is no sacrament and no marriage. But he does not confer the sacrament.

 
Last edited:
I do know exactly what it means! I know that the Catholic Church believes marriage to be a sacrament and catholic church is not Bible alone and follows tradition! I know all of that, so please don’t assume that I don’t know what the sacrament of marriage is, because I do! I am Catholic I went through our RCIA and became a Catholic I also went through marriage prep before the convalidation. We got the radical sensation after I became Catholic! I am still not convinced that I had an invalid marriage because some stuffy men made it a tradition!
 
Last edited:
So then we were married because we married each other and the church is wrong! Thank you! I know that’s not what you meant, but the church can go round and round in its teaching of this sacrament and I still do not believe it when the church says that people are invalidly married because it wasn’t done in a church!
 
Amberhoney said:
I do know exactly what it means! I know that the Catholic Church It’s marriage to be a sacrament and catholic church is not Bible alone and follows tradition! I know all of that, so please don’t assume that I don’t know what the sacrament of marriage is, because I do! I am Catholic I went through our RCIA and became a Catholic I also went through marriage prep before the convalidation. We got the radical sensation after I became Catholic! I am still not convinced that I had an invalid marriage because some stuffy men made it a tradition!
Click to expand...
Then no, you are poorly understanding the Catholic Church and just what the Sacrament of Marriage is.
Priests are not stuffy men who made marriage a tradition. Lets go back to the very first miracle of Jesus, at the wedding at Cana.
Was Jesus a stuffy old man who made marriage a Tradition?
You said
Amberhoney said:
not what a Catholic priest puts together!!!
Click to expand...
That is incorrect. The couple confers the Sacrament of Marriage on each other in the presence of Jesus, witnesses ( 1 being the Priest) and the couple become 1 flesh. Inner grace is given by God, in this Sacrament. The married couple is to bear witness to Christ in the world.
 
We went through the chancellor who got us in contact with a canon lawyer who went through a tribunal and got us an annulment! I didn’t think that I needed to explain the whole process to you since you seem to know everything about the process
 
Amberhoney said:
We went through the chancellor who got us in contact with a canon lawyer who went through a tribunal and got us an annulment! I didn’t think that I needed to explain the whole process to you since you seem to know everything about the process
Click to expand...
Your use of the term ‘Chancellor’ . What is a Chancellor and what is his or her role?
 
. . . every archdiocese has a chancellor that works under the Archbishop. . . . Call your archdiocese and ask them what a chancellor . . . does. . . .
 
Last edited:
So let me get this straight. You actually BECAME A Catholic and now you’re blowing up at the Church.

You learned WHY you needed a radical sanation (and that itself proves that your claim of “the church said our marriage was invalid’ is WRONG), because your husband, as a Catholic and being married outside the Church was guilty of lack of form.

Yet you come on here and start blazing away about how ‘mean’ people are, why the ‘reasons you did it’ weren’t ‘considered important’, blah blah blah.

When DID you become Catholic? And did you tell your RCIA sponsors all these things? Did you truly WANT to know what was going on?

I’m sorry but there is a big failure of the sniff test here.

Go and talk to your priest and your sponsor and get rid of that big blazing anger. It isn’t doing you or anyone any good.
 
Amberhoney said:
I thought you were a Catholic, every archdiocese has a chancellor that works under the Archbishop. I don’t know call your archdiocese and ask them what a chancellor is as you should know being a Catholic!
Click to expand...
You are angry as you initially stated.
Here we have a Marriage Tribunal and if someone requires an annulment, they make contact with the Diocesean employee responsible for referring the case for annulment.
A Chancellor is responsible primarily for the archives and records here.

Please go and talk to your Priest and find out what the Sacrament of Marriage is. There are 7 Sacraments available in the Church, 6 if not becoming Ordained Clergy.
 
Last edited:
Please forgive me, I’m very angry at the moment and I just need to leave the church. I will never in a billion years believe my marriage was not valid. I guess that is why people leave the church. Also, I did not mean marriage was a tradition that man-made up, I meant weddings in a church building is a tradition since churches didn’t even exist in Jesus’s day Weddings in a church are not in Bible. They never happened in a church and the Jewish people still get married under a tent outside. So yes marriage today, the way it looks like in the church is a tradition. Marriage is from God! The wedding is a tradition and should not be considered invalid because it wasn’t done in a man made traditional way!
 
Last edited:
Amberhoney said:
So then we were married because we married each other and the church is wrong! Thank you! I know that’s not what you meant, but the church can go round and round in its teaching of this sacrament and I still do not believe it when the church says that people are invalidly married because it wasn’t done in a church!
Click to expand...
Please slow down, learn what the Sacrament of Marriage is, and learn about the role of the couple, the Church, the Priest and witnesses.
Learn about the ceremony.
It is no good trying to talk about this because you are too angry and should really take some time in prayer and reflection, and in openess to learning what exactly you marriage is now, as compared to what your civil marriage was.

Catholics live in the world but are not of the world. A civil marriage is for the secular world. A Catholic Marriage is very different.
Amberhoney said:
I just need to leave the church. I will never in a billion years believe my marriage was not valid.
Click to expand...
Once you fully understand, it will become clear.
God gives very special graces to married couples in this Sacrament.

Jesus is the head of the Catholic Church, we, including you and your husband, are its body. The Church was born in the Passion of Christ at His crucifixion and began on Pentacost.

Jewish people lived , and still do, under over 600 Commandments, given to Moses on that Mountain. Jewish people were not and are not free to do as they wish with marriage.

This is exemplified by the return of the exiles from Babylon. They had to get rid of their non Jewish wives and their children of those unions and find and marry Jewish women.
Pretty tough huh!
 
Last edited:
We were Sacramentally married for five months and did not get any more graces then when we were civilly married! Anger and bitterness after the convalidation? Yes, but no grace!
 
Amberhoney said:
We were Sacramentally married for five months and did not get any more graces then when we were civilly married! Anger and bitterness after the convalidation? Yes, but no grace!
Click to expand...
Amber we have to be open to receiving those graces from God. He is ready and willing to bestow them on us. We have to want them and be in right mind.

This goes for all graces, not just those found in the Sacrament of Marriage.
Its ok to be angry with God and His Church. Its part of growing in the Catholic faith for many.
Are you not married now? i dont understand your
‘we were sacramentally married’
 
Last edited:
I guess the tribunal gave us our radical sensation so I should be happy and let it go. I got what I wanted. I’m just ticked that it wasn’t an option in our priests eyes before we went through the whole wedding process. It was totally unnecessary. My civil vows were way more thorough and actually talked about a covenant in my civil marriage and a covenant wasn’t even mentioned in my church wedding vows. my husband and I looked at our civil ceremony and it was way more “ Christian” than the Catholic ceremony was in its wording.
 
I guess you don’t know what a radical sensation is?
 
Last edited:
Yes, we’re still married. We got a radical sensation from the Catholic Church! I explained it all in my comments.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top