Annullment

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bcapital

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Not sure where to go to get an answer to my Catholic questions. I am Lutheran and so is my daughter. She was married to Mike, also a Lutheran and they have a son who is 6 years old, baptized Lutheran. They were divorced in Dec 2005. They have Shared Parenting with their son one week with mom, one week with dad. Mike is asking my daughter for a copy of her baptismal record so that he can get their former marriage annulled. What does HER baptismal record have to do with him getting an annullment? Believe me, he isn’t planning on getting remarried because he hasn’t let her go yet, so I believe he is just trying to continue to harrass her.

I have talked to several Catholic friends who say that since they weren’t married in the Catholic Church, there is nothing to get annulled. They were married in our Lutheran Church. I believe he wants to become a member of the Catholic Church because he has enrolled their son in a Catholic school. If he is a member he gets a reduced rate for this school. What can you tell me about this?

bcapital 53 year old mom
 
**What does HER baptismal record have to do with him getting an annullment? **

It’s for proof she was baptized, and therefore that their marriage could be sacramental.
 
bcapital said:
I have talked to several Catholic friends who say that since they weren’t married in the Catholic Church, there is nothing to get annulled. They were married in our Lutheran Church. Ibcapital 53 year old mom
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This is incorrect. A marriage between two non-Catholic Christians is a true, Sacramental marriage in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Only Catholics are required to be married in the Catholic Church or with Church permissions.

One of the first steps in a petition for the Church to investigate a marriage is to fill out forms and include documentation. That documentation includes the Sacramental certifications of both spouses. It sounds like he is just gathering his intial paperwork.
 
Was your daughter baptized? Was your ex-son-in-law ever baptized? That may make a difference in why and what he is pursuing. My dd’s father is in the process right now for an annulment and found out recently that the tribunal actually would prefer for him to ask the Holy Father to dissolve his first marriage (because it is a quicker process than an annulment) due to the fact that his ex-wife was never baptized. Because they will be appealing to Rome for a ruling “In Favor of the Faith” (he wants to marry me, another Catholic) they require our daughter’s baptismal certificate as well as mine. However, when his sister was in the annulment process she was never required to submit her two children’s baptismal records. That is why I ask if either of them were or were not baptized. If your ex-son-in-law has a certain lady in mind who is Catholic, and your daughter was never baptized, he could appeal to Rome to dissolve a valid marriage “In Favor of the Faith” (a.k.a. to be equally “yoked” in faith). But all I know are Catholics who have been through this process, so it may be different for baptized non-catholics who married baptized non-catholics.
 
But would he need this to become a member of the Catholic Church? Or only to remarry?
 
bcapital said:
Mike is asking my daughter for a copy of her baptismal record so that he can get their former marriage annulled. What does HER baptismal record have to do with him getting an annullment?
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Her baptismal status at the time of the marriage matters. So does his. The tribunal needs a thorough understanding of ALL the facts surrounding the marriage. A marriage between two baptized persons is different from a marriage between persons who are not baptized or between one baptized and one unbaptized person.
bcapital said:
Believe me, he isn’t planning on getting remarried because he hasn’t let her go yet, so I believe he is just trying to continue to harrass her.
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You don’t know anything for a fact.

And, one does not have to have a pending marriage in the wings in order to petition for a decree of nullity. It may be that he is in the process of becoming a Catholic, in which case it would be perfectly normal for him to submit his marriage for investigation.
bcapital said:
I have talked to several Catholic friends who say that since they weren’t married in the Catholic Church, there is nothing to get annulled. They were married in our Lutheran Church.
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Your friends are incorrect.

If you or your daughter are really interested in learning about nullity, I suggest the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster. It will help you understand the Catholic view of marriage, Sacraments, and nullity.
bcapital said:
I believe he wants to become a member of the Catholic Church because he has enrolled their son in a Catholic school. If he is a member he gets a reduced rate for this school. What can you tell me about this?
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I think you are ascribing motives to him that you have no way of verifying.

I suggest you get the book if you want to learn about nullity. It’s complex and you’ve already been given misinformation by your friends.
 
bcapital said:
But would he need this to become a member of the Catholic Church? Or only to remarry?
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He does not have to have a decree of nullity to enter the Church since he is currently single.

But, it is is quite common for a person in the process of converting to submit their marriage for investigation so that they know their canonical status with certainty. That way they know if they are free to date and marry in the future or if they are bound to their former spouse even though living apart and civilly divorced. In that case, they would not be free to date and would live singly until their spouse dies.
 
Thanks for the information.

I hope you realize that this was a very hateful, distructive divorce with Dad kidnapping her son for 40 days when he was only 2 years old. She missed out of many “firsts” with her only child because of it. Dad continues to be hatefull, not communicating about their son’s medical issues and continues to keep other information from her. She may be in court again soon because of it. That’s why we needed to know about this.

Thanks again for all the information.
 
Bcapital,
Why would we realize that is was a “hateful, destructive divorce” that involved kidnapping?
You added in unneccesary information, that you can’t know is certain, to a fairly simple question. We don’t need to know that you think he’s trying to harrass her to answer why a baptismal record would be needed.
 
bcapital said:
Sorry I joined this forum.

I will be leaving now.
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bcapital, no need to leave this forum simply because you feel some members are being “insensitive” towards your concerns. The forum members are a generally nice bunch but they also have reasons for being cautious or suspicious sometimes. Try not to take them to heart. I do hope you stay with us and continue participating in the forums.
 
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