Annulment confused

[Rudolph]

Hello. I am converting to Catholicism (trying to). My wife does not want to be Catholic or me to be. She was married before me. So here’s my question. It is my understanding she needs an annulment because canon sees it that she is still married to her first husband making our marriage invalid. With that being said if I divorce her will I need an annulment since in the eyes of The Church we were never married?

 

[Fauken]

I suggest you contact your diocesan Tribunal and ask them.

 

[EricF]

This is definitely way too complex of an issue to get a good answer here. You’ll get a wide range of well-intentioned answers, but discerning what is correct will be near impossible. Call the diocese office and ask them. Please.

 

[Rudolph]

I wish I could’ve just been born Catholic. Lol

 

[TheLittleLady]

After Holy Week, make an appointment with your local priest. Talk to him. This is far too delicate and nuanced to do online with strangers.

God always makes a way. Your becoming Catholic ought to make you a better husband, a better man.

One question, why does your wife oppose your conversion?

 

[Rudolph]

We both grew up baptist. We got married when I was 18 and started going to church a year later. I realized I was only a Baptist because I was told to be. I came across a Church of Christ which basically goes by the bible word for word. To a confused rebellious Baptist this attracted me. I persuaded her to convert to that church with me so she did. She believes in god and has a fair knowledge of the bible but refuses in depth study. She’s says now I can’t be taken seriously since I convinced her to move to the Church of Christ and 2 years later I want to be Catholic, which does kind of make me look wishy-washy. I feel by bouncing around churches I was on a journey and now I feel like becoming Catholic is where my journey was supposed to end up. To name a few reasons she doesn’t want me to be Catholic: priest acting in persona christi, praying to saints, abuse scandal. Most reasons all anti-catholics aren’t catholic.

 

[Rudolph]

Ok, new question. Since this is obviously a long process either way, can I have my children baptized before I am a member?

 

[Dlee]

Please speak with your priest. You ask if you’ll need an annulment if you divorce her, then you ask about baptizing kids Catholic. Slow down and take one thing at a time. Speaking with your priest is first and foremost.

 

[Brendea]

As you were married before becoming catholic your marriage will be valid in the eyes of the church. The church sees marriages outside of the church as valid provided neither party to the marriage was catholic at the time of marriage.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Each of her oppositions have solid answers.

I came from one of the Churches of Christ, the independent group that does allow piano) and I can tell you that what I learned about Scripture and devotion to Christ is what pointed me toward the Church. The devotion to the Lord’s Supper at every service was profound, and I would intensely study the Scripture that was read before where it said that to eat or drink unworthily meant to eat and drink damnation. That told me this was supposed to be more than it was, heck why did I not have sermons upon sermons teaching me what “unworthily” meant?

I can go on and on, but, I thank the Campbellites for the foundation they gave me.

Love your wife. Let her witness the change in you as you come closer to Christ. It is amazing how attractive joy is.

Your pastor (the pastor at the Catholic Church inside who’s boundaries you reside) will be the best resource to talk about baptism for your kids (that is another thing that the CoC gave me, the knowledge that Baptism is Salvific!).

 

[Bluebright]

You do need to speak to your priest about these things. Canon law may well have answers that we have no idea about. Also pray to God, he is the one who goes before you and sorts all things out for you, he did this and is doing this and will do this in amazing and wonderous ways that none of us could ever think of… so talk to him and trust in him and let his will be done. He can and is and will be doing this for your wife and children too.
Also relax and take a breath, you dont have to rush into anything, certainly not divorcing your wife because she wont do what you want. God’s way is love. Go about bringing God’s kingdom of love to your family first, so as you work towards your conversion let God’s love lead you. God’s will is always about patience, believe me, following the will of God is primarily about humility and patience. You give yourself up to God, so that his will is first, always and that means, leaving what you want at the door for ever and that takes patience and putting yourself last. It’s a long and difficult journey but it is immensely rewarding. Don’t look too far in the distance, let God lead. Just take one step, what does God want from you now? this first step…Is it converting? if so then concentrate on that. forget the logistics and the future, let God take care of all that and just take that one step. Trust in him. Be patient and loving with your wife (you can ask God a million times a day if you like for patience and love and help and kindness etc. so you can be that way to your wife… you dont have to do it on your own… ask Jesus to take over and abandon yourself to him… he wants to help you!) . Forget about all the details for now… God will sort them out for you and tell you what he wants you to do at each point in time… one step at a time. God bless you. Welcome home to our Catholic faith

 

[acanonlawyer]

As you were married before becoming catholic your marriage will be valid in the eyes of the church. The church sees marriages outside of the church as valid provided neither party to the marriage was catholic at the time of marriage.

There is a bit more to it than that. For instance, when non-Catholics contract multiple marriages and “former spouses” are still alive, not all of them can be considered valid by the Church.

To the OP: there are literally thousands of people who are in the same circumstances as you. Your local pastor/priest should be able to help you out.

Dan

 

[Gorgias]

As you were married before becoming catholic your marriage will be valid in the eyes of the church.

Be careful before you answer. If she was validly married before her marriage to the OP (which is what he stated in the first post), then there’s more here than meets the eye.

The folks who have answered "go talk to a priest – after Easter! " have given the most helpful response.

Since this is obviously a long process either way, can I have my children baptized before I am a member?

Yes. The baptism of a child does not depend on the status of his parent. Talk to a Catholic priest in the parish which you hope to join.

 

[lucius2]

As for getting your children baptized in the church, you should get her consent and agreement first unless the particular child is of age and desperately wants to join the faith with you. If they are not then she has a right to be a part of that if you are to respect you marriage vows to her. Whether your annulment process is fulfilled and your marriage to her is declared valid or not, you should love her as if it is already declared valid. If she doesn’t care one way or another get her previous divorce decree as well as your own and inform your diocese of all that they request, to do that so that you become into full communion with the church. But having children with her is if anything a blessing that probably states God does bless your Union with her so respect that as well and sacraments such as baptism are too important to just lie to her or do secretly and compromise your likely valid marriage (whether it is known yet or not.). Be prepared though if her previous marriage or yours was to a baptized person and especially if any children resulted that it will possibly not get annulment validation. The Pauline Claus as it is called is the one I know of otherwise it is at the surface at least a sacramental marriage even if not in the Catholic Church but I am no clergy or an expert so just talk to your preist and to God about All this in prayer. Best of regards and God bless!