Annulment: dealing with a nasty rebuttal

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Ok.

I am returning to the faith after a LONG hiatus. I was married before ( 20 years ago ) and I am going through the annulment process since I remarried (civilly) and want to clear up things…

My first marriage was short and resulted in no children, and my spouse left me ( sought a civil divorce ) and that was that.

I submitted my petition with names of witnesses a year ago, and finally in the past week I went down to the Chancery and reviewed the materials of the case. Only two witnesses responded, and really only one actually answered the questionnaire. I had two other people attest to my honesty ( not sure what that is called ).

Alright, at the Tribunal office, I finally read through my ex’s Rebuttal. I nearly cried. It was like venom dripping off the page.

I was called names, false statements were attributed to me, and I was basically called evil…

I was stunned. 15 years after the divorce, my ex was just BITTER. I wasn’t a saint, but what happened?

So the Tribunal official asked what my response would be and if I could draft one.

I wanted to run from the room. How could I answer this? I did not want to devolve into namecalling, or “he said, she said”. It was like I had my chest was ripped open and my heart exposed to the world.

Anger, is what I felt. My pride was wounded, but I finally took a few deep breaths, realized that although my spouse had left me, they never really had moved on…

Well, I went to the Cathedral and prayed for them, and talked with my current spouse, and they pointed out that my ex probably was probably blindsided by this and just lashing out. Made me feel a bit better but still seeing myself described as EVIL was so upsetting…

I wrote a short response letter basically stating that I was not going to go through a rebuttal of everything written but only restate what I believed my state of mind was then and let the Tribunal do its work…
 
I’m not sure if this is going to help, but I suspect that your ex-husband probably did a really good job making your case for you.
 
I’m not sure if this is going to help, but I suspect that your ex-husband probably did a really good job making your case for you.
I know almost nothing about the annulment process, but that was my exact thought.
 
Just Lurking,

You’re right–I didn’t notice how vague the OP was being about gender.

In either case, it’s weird for the person who divorced you 15 years ago after a short marriage to still be seething with rage about it.
 
First of all - welcome home…👍

I was where you are just a few years ago.

I agree with the others that your ex might feel blind-sided. I know that mine did.
Partly because of that I chose not to go down and review the replies. I just didn’t want to take the chance…

That said - I also agree that such venomous statements could very likely make your case for you.
You’ve done the right thing by simply placing it in God’s hands.

Peace
James
 
I’m not sure if this is going to help, but I suspect that your ex-husband probably did a really good job making your case for you.
Don’t jump to conclusions, this may be a man and his ex-wife, not a woman with an ex-husband.

EDIT: never mind. I really should read the /whole/ thread before replying.
 
Praying for all involved.
May God’s holy will prevail amongst all involved and in the outcome.
 
I’m sorry you had to go through this. Prayer was a most excellent impulse as a response; one could go so far as to say THE most excellent one.

The ex may have invested some emotion in the idea that the marriage was failed and the failure was entirely your fault, rather than a null attempt. Obviously, if your ex is spewing falsehoods and venom, some unreality has slipped in the vault of their memory somewhere. (How awful to have that skeleton in one’s inner closet!)

Try to keep your eye on the ball. Consult with someone familiar and very well trained with this process, and if your original reply lacked any elements that you ought to have included in order to give the most legally accurate representation of your case, you might still be able to add an amendment to that effect. For instance, there might be some point of contention that a tribunal would care about, and you might have independent evidence supporting the way you are remembering things. (That would be a question for the Liturgy and Sacraments forum.)
 
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