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belmontmac
Guest
chevalier, I sent you a pm.
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tamrk
Guest
Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I especially appreciate those who have been there and understand what I am going through.
tedfay— thank you so much for your response. I do pray for my husband all the time. I continue to pray that even if he doesn’t wish to be married to me, that he won’t seek out a sinful lifestyle. I heard on a radio show once that you should pray for a “hedge of protection and a hedge of thorns” in this type of situation. While I want him protected, I also want him to not receive any joy from his sins. That is the hardest thing for me… his eternal salvation. As long as we were married, I knew he would be faithful. Once we are divorced, I don’t know for sure what he will do.
I am still a little concerned about the witness thing. I will just have to deal with things as they come. I don’t know of anyone who can speak to the situation before we were married. I can’t call my family members, because they don’t know “the truth”. His only family left is his sister, who was only 13 when we were married. I am hoping his testimony is enough to satisfy the tribunal.
I am only 44 years old and while I have no interest in marrying anytime soon, I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I pray that there is someone out there who believes in marriage and love like I do and that someday, I will find that person. I also have read that a person who has not been annulled should not even date. So, I feel like I need to do this now and put this difficult situation behind me. I know I won’t even be able to think about a future with another person until or unless this marriage is annulled.
Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers.
tedfay— thank you so much for your response. I do pray for my husband all the time. I continue to pray that even if he doesn’t wish to be married to me, that he won’t seek out a sinful lifestyle. I heard on a radio show once that you should pray for a “hedge of protection and a hedge of thorns” in this type of situation. While I want him protected, I also want him to not receive any joy from his sins. That is the hardest thing for me… his eternal salvation. As long as we were married, I knew he would be faithful. Once we are divorced, I don’t know for sure what he will do.
I am still a little concerned about the witness thing. I will just have to deal with things as they come. I don’t know of anyone who can speak to the situation before we were married. I can’t call my family members, because they don’t know “the truth”. His only family left is his sister, who was only 13 when we were married. I am hoping his testimony is enough to satisfy the tribunal.
I am only 44 years old and while I have no interest in marrying anytime soon, I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I pray that there is someone out there who believes in marriage and love like I do and that someday, I will find that person. I also have read that a person who has not been annulled should not even date. So, I feel like I need to do this now and put this difficult situation behind me. I know I won’t even be able to think about a future with another person until or unless this marriage is annulled.
Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers.
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tedfay
Guest
You are welcome. I’m glad I could give some comfort.
Sounds like you won’t have a problem with this, but I will give a warning anyway. I really fell into darkness after I was divorced. Don’t let the pain of divorce lead you down any path of darkness. Be extra vigilent with the sacraments, because you will be tempted to all kinds of dark things as time goes on. It is only by the grace of God that I returned to His church.
God Bless,
Sounds like you won’t have a problem with this, but I will give a warning anyway. I really fell into darkness after I was divorced. Don’t let the pain of divorce lead you down any path of darkness. Be extra vigilent with the sacraments, because you will be tempted to all kinds of dark things as time goes on. It is only by the grace of God that I returned to His church.
God Bless,
J
JRKH
Guest
tamrk,
Yes I can understand your concern about witnesses but I believe that tedfay gave about the best summary of advise I have read on this thread.
I too had only a few family members who I could submit as witnesses. I knew that these people would be completely and prayerfully honest with their answers. I have to think that this is the most important thing in any of the testimony - that it be as honest as possible.
Tedfay’s advise about answering the questionaire is also good and I second it.
What I did was copy each of the questions into my computer, so that I could then answer each, think some, reread, edit, and correct over several days (actually about 2 weeks).
This allowed me to review things in my mind to make sure I was giving facts as well as I could recollect them and also make sure that I was not including or projecting any “emotion” into my answers.
I like your response that you do not wish to hurt your ex. This will help you in your answers.
Since your ex has said that he will gladly cooperate with the process I doubt there sill be much problem and that the testimony of witnesses will not factor in much - except to confirm that he had not disclosed his homosexual tendancies before the wedding.
Remember, this process is not like a civil court where testimony needs to be backed up.
If your ex tells the tribunal that he was homosexual before teh wedding and did not tell you, that will likely be sufficient for the tribunal to render judgement even if no one else knew.
Peace
James
Yes I can understand your concern about witnesses but I believe that tedfay gave about the best summary of advise I have read on this thread.
I too had only a few family members who I could submit as witnesses. I knew that these people would be completely and prayerfully honest with their answers. I have to think that this is the most important thing in any of the testimony - that it be as honest as possible.
Tedfay’s advise about answering the questionaire is also good and I second it.
What I did was copy each of the questions into my computer, so that I could then answer each, think some, reread, edit, and correct over several days (actually about 2 weeks).
This allowed me to review things in my mind to make sure I was giving facts as well as I could recollect them and also make sure that I was not including or projecting any “emotion” into my answers.
I like your response that you do not wish to hurt your ex. This will help you in your answers.
Since your ex has said that he will gladly cooperate with the process I doubt there sill be much problem and that the testimony of witnesses will not factor in much - except to confirm that he had not disclosed his homosexual tendancies before the wedding.
Remember, this process is not like a civil court where testimony needs to be backed up.
If your ex tells the tribunal that he was homosexual before teh wedding and did not tell you, that will likely be sufficient for the tribunal to render judgement even if no one else knew.
Peace
James
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