Annulments?

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**I was married and divorced at the age of 18. The marriage ended abruptly after 5 months because 2 months into the marriage I became pregnant and my (ex) husband did not want me to keep the child. Having been in the military at that time and 3,000 miles from my family and moral support I made the hardest decision of my life by getting an abortion. I am truly regretful of that decision. I am now in the process of being baptized into the Catholic church and wondered if I would be able to annul my marriage due to the obviously non-Christian union we had. I want my next marriage to take place in church. Are there grounds for annulment of my first marriage? **
 
Kaila, hi!

Did your husband state to you or anyone before marriage that he didn’t intend to have children or didn’t want to have children. To fail to be open to life is grounds for annulment. If he was known to say to anyone that he didn’t want to have children, before or at the point of marrying, then in Catholic terms, it wasn’t a valid marriage. This may be suspected if so soon after marriage he rejected the possibility of a child.

If neither your husband and nor you were Catholic and you married, then your marriage would normally be considered valid except for circumstances like above. This is because if neither was Catholic you weren’t subject to Catholic laws. If there was external undue pressures to marry, that would be another cause for considering a marriage invalid, for instance. There are other circumstances which make marriage invalid.

Have you considered discussing your question with a priest?

Warm regards, Trishie.
 
I was never aware of the fact that he would not want a child. As a married couple we did not use any form of birth control and he was completely aware of that as well. I of course thought that this is the man I will be with for the rest of my life and we will have a family. I was MORE than suprised when he told me that he did not want to be a father when I found out I was pregnant.
 
kaila said:
**I was married and divorced at the age of 18. The marriage ended abruptly after 5 months because 2 months into the marriage I became pregnant and my (ex) husband did not want me to keep the child. Having been in the military at that time and 3,000 miles from my family and moral support I made the hardest decision of my life by getting an abortion. I am truly regretful of that decision. I am now in the process of being baptized into the Catholic church and wondered if I would be able to annul my marriage due to the obviously non-Christian union we had. I want my next marriage to take place in church. Are there grounds for annulment of my first marriage? **
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The best person to talk to about this is your pastor.

But even if your marriage was valid, was your husband baptized at the time of your marriage? If not, the priest might suggest another avenue to dissolve your valid marriage, the Pauline Privilege which only applies if neither party was baptized at the time of the marriage and one subsequently converts to Catholicism.
 
kaila said:
**I was married and divorced at the age of 18. The marriage ended abruptly after 5 months because 2 months into the marriage I became pregnant and my (ex) husband did not want me to keep the child. Having been in the military at that time and 3,000 miles from my family and moral support I made the hardest decision of my life by getting an abortion. I am truly regretful of that decision. I am now in the process of being baptized into the Catholic church and wondered if I would be able to annul my marriage due to the obviously non-Christian union we had. I want my next marriage to take place in church. Are there grounds for annulment of my first marriage? **
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Yes. You were young, under the influence of a non-believer, located far from home, confused by the duress he put you under. The marriage therefore can qualify as ‘non-sacramental’. Talk to your priest, and apply for an annulment through your archdiocese.
 
kaila said:
** I am now in the process of being baptized into the Catholic church **
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If you are in this process, that means you are in RCIA right?

If so, this should either have already come up or will come up shortly.

Regardless, the advice to speak with the Pastor or his representative (sometimes assigned to Parochial Vicars, Deacons, etc.) is the best. Do not take any other advice or consider anyone else’s opinions to be factual before then.

Each case is unique.
 
KingAlfred said:
Yes. You were young, under the influence of a non-believer, located far from home, confused by the duress he put you under. The marriage therefore can qualify as ‘non-sacramental’. Talk to your priest, and apply for an annulment through your archdiocese.
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None of the things you mention makes a marriage ‘non-sacramental’. Their marriage, even if deemed valid, is non-sacramental because she isn’t baptized.
 
The fact that one or both of you were not baptized and that you are now becoming Catholic is important. It may speed things considerably.
 
After having an abortion, you must be feeling incredibly remorseful. Have you considered a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat? It is a Catholic retreat for people who regret aborting their unborn children. I’m not sure where you are in your grieving process, or how well this will benefit you. But I thought I’d throw it out there. God bless!

rachelsvineyard.org/
 
The divorce was finalized in February of this year. Another thing I guess I should mention is that he is currently an Active Duty Soldier and is deployed at the moment. I have his mailing address and e-mail, but would this slow down the whole process?:confused:
 
As others have said, talk to your RCIA leader, they have helped so many others through this.

Another good thing, go up to the SHOP link at the top of this page and type in a search for “annulment” - you will find some books with the facts.
 
Dear One, -
Talk to your priest, who can guide you in getting started.

Actually, so long as you are living alone and celibate, you don’t have to petition for a nullity investigation right this minute - HOWEVER, I think for your peace of mind you will want to do so sooner, rather than later.

Nullity declarations are complex and should not be “ruled on” by laity - except those with the training to do so, such as a JCL.

The fact that your former husband is active duty military will not impede the process. Getting mail to him, if he’s deployed, might be slower than if he were just here at home, but it’s not impossible.

I’m so happy for your journey into the Catholic Church. Your tragic story, your abortion, will find great healing in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You might also want to look into Project Rachel.
 
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers everyone. It does make my heart feel better with your understanding. It’s been two years since I had to make that awful decision, but it never goes away. It’s a bit hard to just talk to any council at my parish b/c we share our priest with another parish and ppl even have to make appts. to go to confession. I’ve never heard of that, but everyone says it’s b/c of the lack of priests in the country. I don’t know tho. I’m new to this and pretty much have to take everyones’ word for it.
 
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