Another impurity thread... Sorry y'all

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rose.gold

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Ughhhhh. Confusion about sin is the worst. Okay so every once in awhile I go through a period of not understanding impurity. Then I finally understand. Then I get confused again. It sucks. I really hate not knowing if I’m in the state of mortal sin.
Whenever I see my boyfriend, we never act impurely. I believe hugs and short kisses and other ways to show affection are pure. Affection isn’t a bad thing. But sometimes my body reacts to pure affection as if it’s something sexual which is very frustrating. I don’t want to feel that way and I don’t know why I do. The feeling is pretty easy to just ignore. It doesn’t make me think about or want to have sex. It’s just a feeling I get sometimes. But I feel awful about it still because I know we’re supposed to avoid things that arouse us. So what am I supposed to do? Just never see my boyfriend? Ahhh I just don’t know what to do. And I don’t think I’m in the state of mortal sin but I don’t know for sure. I wanna go to Communion tomorrow so I’m asking for help and opinions. Is it always mortally sinful to do something that arouses you? Even if it’s something that shouldn’t arouse you? Even if you just ignore the feeling?
Thank you for your replies. They’re much appreciated. God bless you all.

Edit: There’s also this article written by a priest. In it, he says that if unintended arousal occurs, then there’s still no sin (as long as it’s just affection, and not anything sexual) Is a Warm Chaste Courtship Possible? – Catholic Faith Alive!, Inc.
However, I’m sure some people have different opinions on this matter. How do I know if I’m sinning or not if different people tell me different things?
 
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rose.gold said:
But sometimes my body reacts to pure affection as if it’s something sexual which is very frustrating. Is it always mortally sinful to do something that arouses you? Even if it’s something that shouldn’t arouse you?
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If you can avoid a thing that arouses you then you need to avoid it under pain of sin. You didn’t know this (maybe) so it might be venial to you. Confess it and stop the activities that are a temptation to you. We are not to “set in motion the powers of generation” (arousal and all that) willingly. This includes doing things that we know will cause that (obviously doesn’t apply to marital relations)
 
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So should I just avoid looking at my boyfriend since there’s a chance I could get aroused? This is why it’s so confusing to me.
 
Simply experiencing arousal is not a sin. It’s just your body experiencing a natural process. If it’s not putting you at risk of actually committing a sin (like it’s not tempting you to have premarital sex) and you’re not deliberately doing stuff trying to get aroused, I wouldn’t worry about it.
 
The priest is correct. Such feelings are not sins unless we encourage them, dwell on them or seek them out. You don’t sound like you’re doing anything such as passionate kissing to bring the feelings on, nor are you dwelling on them or acting on them when they occur, so I’m not seeing a sin here.

As long as you and your boyfriend are managing to stay out of sin when you see each other, there’s no reason to stop seeing him. The vast majority of people who date get a little thrill sometimes from looking at or being with the other person. It’s called “human attraction” and it’s built into most of our bodies.

“Different people having different opinions”doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t be taking an opinion poll on matters of sin. Discuss with one priest if you have a question, and accept his answer.
 
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rose.gold said:
How do I know if I’m sinning or not if different people tell me different things?
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Ask your priest if you’re confused and trust his answer. You’ll make yourself crazy if you go seeking out a million different opinions. There are people out there who think literally everything is a sin. You don’t have to give weight to every random person on the internet’s opinions.
 
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