Another interesting holiday get together with family

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lukefan

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I am the only practicing Catholic in my family. My youngest brother is the only one that officially has joined a Protestant religion. The rest of my siblings, including my father, just never go to mass and yesterday they, in my opinion, trashed the Church for passing the collection plate - it’s all about money to them!

Yesterday, my 20 year old nephew (I’m his Godmother) began a “discussion” about Evolution and that he is questioning the existence of God. Of course, he is attending a state University so I know where this is coming from! I sat across the table from him is utter disbelief but what is a kid to do when your parents don’t bother to take you to church after your confirmation! My sister (his mother) doesn’t want to hear anything about religion, so when I called her into the room she didn’t answer me. My youngest sister made a comment behind my back “see what I mean” and walked out when I was trying to defend creationism and existence of God! Her significant other (they don’t bother to get married, just have 2 kids and live together for eternity) chimed in that he agreed with my nephew.

Luckily my Protestant sister-in-law and I see eye to eye on one thing - the existence of God (We differ from there greatly!). She was trying to help me out. My own teenagers had left the family gathering by this time, thank goodness.

I’m sitting here this morning at my computer as I declined the traditional shopping trip with my sisters and father. Christmas to them is all about shopping, spending too much money on gifts, taking down the tree on the day after Christmas - Christ has absolutely left my extended family’s Christmas. The only person other than myself that attends any type of services is my little brother. I am ridiculed if I even suggest praying before our Christmas dinner. It’s a free for all.

This morning I’m feeling ridiculed by my siblings. My mother (who was a convert to the Faith) and my Grandmother who are both deceased are probably rolling in their graves. When my Grandmother died a year ago, I did all the arrangements, said the rosary at the wake, chose all the readings - everything. The priest during his homily asked who is going to lead this extended family in the Faith. Of course, everyone points to me but if I open my mouth about anything to do with Faith, they treat me like I’m a moron or just ignore me.

I’m pondering letting my sisters and father know just how upset I was yesterday. Letting them know exactly why I didn’t go with them today, why what my nephew said was so disturbing.
Has anyone else been in this situation? How do I handle it? My biggest concern is that these people are going to start rubbing off on my kids.
 
I hear you, the only help I know of is Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid. He should be required reading for any of is in fractured families. If we let personal feelings and emotions that have little to do with religious differences get in the way of being a true witness to the message of Christ, we are bound to fail in influencing our families.
 
I feel your pain lukefan. We spend Thanksgiving with the IL’s. Other than my dh and I, my MIL and her husband (my dh’s stepdad–his dad, who was an alcoholic and pervert died a few years back), we are the only ones with any kind of faith at all. Two of my dh’s sisters and his 1 brother are all HOSTILE to the faith. No grace is said at meals (unless it is held at my house–then, as grace is said the eye rolling and contempt pretty much rules out any thankfulness to God). We have the drug users, the sullen and disrespectful teen nieces/nephews, the bad language, the perverted talk, the usual drunken fights at the end of the day…honestly, when MIL dies, we probably will no longer attend the holiday with these people.

NOTHING you will say will help the situation. I agree with puzzleannie. You must be a good Christian witness in all that you do and say. I try to be loving, grateful, kind and considerate to all. If a bad language or drinking problem is going on, I gently remove my children from that situation. We don’t PUSH saying grace, but say grace BEFORE we get to the IL house. I tell my kids, that they probably will “forget” to say grace at Aunt so and so’s, but we still want to remember God on such a special day. If confronted about religion, we are truthful and firm, but we never bring it up ourselves. I’m not sure about buying them books “you can buy them books and buy them books, but they’ll just eat the covers”!!! Just pray for them, and offer up your frustrations with them for their conversion. We can’t “choose” our families, can we?🙂
 
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lukefan:
The rest of my siblings, including my father, just never go to mass and yesterday they, in my opinion, trashed the Church for passing the collection plate - it’s all about money to them!
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Which cracks me up because how on earth can you run a parish, pay a pastor and offer programs to the poor (or anyone else) without money?? I think money is an excuse to leave a church when it’s really other issues. Like living what you profess or doing what’s hard. —KCT
 
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