Another miscarraige

[PCR99]

I wonder what God is telling me? How do you know what to do? I just feel so unloved by God and forgotten. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 4.5 years. After the first 2 agonizing years whne all the doctors said that I was fine and they could not find anything wrong, we finally found a doctor at the Pope Paul VI Instutute who found what was wrong. I underwent 2 surgeries, the last of which was very involved and very painful.

Then we underwent a host of medecines and drugs. I had to learn to give myself IM injections, which was horrible. Nothing.

Finally last December I got pregnant!! At 7 weeks, they could not locate a baby. At 9 weeks, a baby with no heartbeat was found and I endured a horrible, painful natural miscarrige that last for 5 days. We were absoultely devestated and dejected.

Five months later I find myself pregnant again. Six weeks into the pregnancy, I start to bleed. The ultrsounds reveal no baby and the threat of an ectopic. Then the ethical termoil set in about what to do. I waited and waited. 4 weeks later after speaking to a priest and a Catholic medical ethicist, I decided what to do. What a horrible time.

I really feel like God has brough us to the doctors we have met who have been able to help us. We have done everthing in alignment with the Church and her teachings, and have avoided ART and all of its temptings yet we have suffered so much and continue to suffer.

Why is this happening and how do we get out of this hole? I am not sure what God is telling me. I just so desire a baby, but feel so dejected. I feel that He has put this desire in my heart, yet I continue to be tortured. We do not feel drawn to adoption. I am not sure why. I wish we were because then we could be parents. There seems no end to it.

PCR

 

[Mom_of_one]

All I can say right now is that I will pray for you. I don’t have any answers or comments right now. But I understand the pain. I’ve had 2 miscarriages myself.

 

[Maria3m]

(((PCR))) I’ve been thinking about your post since reading it earlier. I didn’t respond then because I don’t have the wise words some do. However, I wanted you to know I have prayed for you, and will continue to keep you in my prayers.

 

[Khoria_Anna]

I feel for you and am praying for you; I’ve had 4 miscarriages – three before dd’s birth and one after – the last was 12 years ago. Hang in there, keep praying and know that you are infinitely loved even if it doesn’t feel like it now. Trust in God’s infinite mercy and know that He has you and your dh in His hands with a plan for you that surpasses all your imagination right now.

 

[Hope75]

I am so sorry to hear about your losses. My husband and I have a similar story. We have been married for over 5 years. We have infertility issues. We had an unexpected blessing of a pregnancy in 2002. We also had a miscarriage a few weeks later.

Last fall and winter I also went to the PPVI Institute for surgery and we had a second blessing of a pregnancy this spring. We did the progesterone injections too. At our 7 week visit we saw the baby, but she was smaller than she should have been. At our 8.5 week ultrasound the baby had not grown and her heartbeat had stopped. Another miscarriage.

I understand your pain and frustration. We have felt it too. (In fact I had a melt down again this Saturday.) It’s normal. Your not alone. God is not punishing you. He has blessed you. We like to think that we helped to create a new life that would not have exsisted if we had not been open to God creating new life within us. Our job on earth is to get our children to heaven. We’ve already accomplished this! And our children didn’t have to suffer through this world before getting there!

Feel free to email me personally if you’d like.