Another question about homosexuality

[belief63]

I can’t believe I just typed this question and there was an error posting it:crying: Okay I’ll try again.
I was reading the thread from the young man who’s sister is gay and wanted to ask a question that related to that topic. I asked this question in the “ask a question forum” (is that the name of it ) and I just needed some more (name removed by moderator)ut.
My brother in law, a priest for 23yrs, decided he is gay and left his ministry to go live with his boyfriend. What really bothers me about this situation, besides the obvious , is that he has never come out and told us what is going on. He just started bringing this “friend” to family functions, and then we just heard about his leaving the priesthood from someone from our town who attended mass at his church the day he announced it. He finally told us that he was just looking for some other job in the ministry. So now he sends my kids birthday cards and signs it from the both of them. Are we suppose to send them cards, addressed to the both of them. Can I ask my BIL not to send cards from the both of them because I don’t want my kids influenced by their lifestyle? I know I have to treat them with kindness, but I will NEVER invite them to my home. Just so you know, I would never allow any unmarried couple to stay in my home. I guess maybe if they agreed to separate rooms, but I don’t know if I could trust them. My kids are more important than their feelings.
How could this man celebrate the Mass after leaving the priesthood and living in an adultress relationship? The Bishop allowed that. Why? Is it allowable?
Thanks for advice.

 

[Flounder]

No, he can’t forsake his vows and continue practicing as a priest…but that is a big mess between him and his bishop, and I wouldn’t waste any brain cells on it.

You should treat everyone politely, but you don’t have to invite everyone into your home. Address mail to whom you choose.

I think we parents shield things from our kids until they are ready to understand the right and wrong of it; when they can understand, it is time to discuss it with them and explain why it’s wrong. I think this is much better than avoiding things all the time, as this will only cause them to encounter it on their own, or perhaps with someone who doesn’t see it as wrong.

And I think you should pray for him to find his way back…

 

[Tom]

First a few questions: You said your BIL was a “priest” in which church (Catholic? And if so which rite?)? It sounds as if he needs our prayers, how does one “decide” they are homosexual after all those years? Now down to the acceptance. We are called to accept everyone as individuals (as opposed to as couples), we are not called to accept their lifestyle, especially when it is sinful. If you are not friends with his… partner… I would treat him as such, a stranger and a friend of your brother in law. I would not feel obligated to invite any friends of any in laws to anything, and I would let your BIL know that you feel uncomfortable having them as guests as a couple. As far as having them over night, I absolutely agree with you about not having them spend the night, I have four grown children and would not allow them to have “sleepover” partners, so I definitely would not allow a homosexual couple to “sleepover”. I have friends and relatives with whom I fundamentally disagree with their sexual morals, or lack thereof. I accept them as individuals, but I make no apology for rejecting their lifestyle. I feel no difference between heterosexual or homosexual couples. I’m not called to accept their sinful lifestyle nor to ignore it especially if they make a point out of shoving it in my face. As a heterosexual, working in a male dominated environment I’m constantly confronted with friends opinions on sexuality. I make no excuses for my views and if someone insists on imposing their moral views on me, I’m not shy in expressing my views. However after some time they tend to avoid the subject and I let it lie also, I’m not called to convert them, I am called to let them know it’s wrong, and I do, but after that I don’t preach, nor accept. I accept my relatives as individuals, even though they may live in sin. Pray for them. Accept them as they are, sinners who need your love. Your love does not mean acceptance of their sin.

 

[belief63]

He was/is a Roman Catholic priest. I did ask my priest about the situation and he also agreed that we need to be kind and pray for him, but he isn’t too concerned about offending our beliefs so we are okay to not encourage a relationship with him and his “friend”. I do think I need to visit with my children a little more about the situation and teach them the “we love the sinner, we hate the sin”. We need to be careful that our attitudes do not become arrogant or mean spirited. I pray all the time that he finds his way back to his vocation. Although, I’ve always wondered if being a priest was more of a job for him. He never invited us to pray, like at meal time, it was either my husband’s mother or me who would start meal prayer. And even if we would forget, he never started it. I’ve always thought that was strange.

Thanks for the advice.