Another workplace event.....feeling ovewhelmed

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hasikelee

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Remember I posted on appropriate conversations with co-workers…

And then my associate approached me with her feelings on marriage, premarital sex and also an interest in the Catholic faith…

Well last night I had another associate in a different department (but connected to mine) who approached me and confessed that she had an abortion two weeks ago. She also talked about her life in general…her boyfriend is abusive and also has serious issues (can’t be touched, talks to imaginary people)…bills stacking up…school is overwhelming, etc.

She was asking too many questions for me. Questions that can’t be answered with clients milling about and while filing paperwork! Questions like am I a bad person for it [the abortion] should I leave him, should I go to therapy, how do I fix my life, etc.

Strangely enough, even though the boyfriend is abusive, he actually disagreed with the abortion and I suggested that he might be acting so emotionally cold and distant due to resentment.

I didn’t get a chance to talk much at all and I was completely speechless as it is. She has plenty of friends and I’ve only spoken with her a handful of times, business related. I told her at least she was standing strong by not denying the wrongness and pain of the abortion, and also by not living with him. But I don’t know what else to do.

Why me? 😦 😦 I know that sounds selfish but things like this always seem to happen to me. I feel as if I must wear a bullseye jacket everywhere. People just find me or something.
 
You must be a kind, thoughtful person. People rarely turn toward those whom they think will verbally beat them up or be unkind. When someone approaches you with these big problems at work, why not let them know that you would like to talk to them about their issues, but arrange a time when you can talk in private and not be interrupted.
 
hasikelee said:
Why me? 😦 😦 I know that sounds selfish but things like this always seem to happen to me. I feel as if I must wear a bullseye jacket everywhere. People just find me or something.
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Maybe they recognize that you have something that they don’t, and that something is good. They’re seeking it out even if they’re not conscious of it. I’m sure that you appear to be someone who is strong in her faith and has her life together. For people who are neither, that is an appealing combination. It leads people to trust you, and I’m glad that you don’t seem the type to break their trust.

Maybe with the woman who had an abortion, you could offer to meet her for coffee on a break or after work, and maybe give her contact info for resources like Project Rachel. And then maybe just listen to her. She’s probably terrified and heartbroken right now, and quite possibly isn’t even sure why that is. And if her friends are the ones who encouraged her to have the abortion (so she wouldn’t throw her life away or some other such nonsense), well, I can see why she wouldn’t go to them for consolation.
 
hasikelee said:
Remember I posted on appropriate conversations with co-workers…

And then my associate approached me with her feelings on marriage, premarital sex and also an interest in the Catholic faith…

Well last night I had another associate in a different department (but connected to mine) who approached me and confessed that she had an abortion two weeks ago. She also talked about her life in general…her boyfriend is abusive and also has serious issues (can’t be touched, talks to imaginary people)…bills stacking up…school is overwhelming, etc.

She was asking too many questions for me. Questions that can’t be answered with clients milling about and while filing paperwork! Questions like am I a bad person for it [the abortion] should I leave him, should I go to therapy, how do I fix my life, etc.

Strangely enough, even though the boyfriend is abusive, he actually disagreed with the abortion and I suggested that he might be acting so emotionally cold and distant due to resentment.

I didn’t get a chance to talk much at all and I was completely speechless as it is. She has plenty of friends and I’ve only spoken with her a handful of times, business related. I told her at least she was standing strong by not denying the wrongness and pain of the abortion, and also by not living with him. But I don’t know what else to do.

Why me? 😦 😦 I know that sounds selfish but things like this always seem to happen to me. I feel as if I must wear a bullseye jacket everywhere. People just find me or something.
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Take it as a graceful opportunity to share the truth of the faith - why abortion and premarital sex is wrong. Get to know your faith very well so that when the next time someone comes to you for advice or guidance, you’ll have ready answers.
 
Call a local crisis pregnancy center or pro-life group and get some post-abortion healing literature for her. Hopefully there is a post-abortion ministry in your city. The CPC or pro-life group will know. Get her to go to the CPC where they will help her get chastity information.

It’s hard to be a person that others confide in unexpectedly, but it’s an emmense opportunity to witness to her-- since she brought it up.
 
Thanks, guys. I guess when I posted I was still feeling pretty sad and selfish.

It was certainly out of the blue and that is what gets me with these things.

Another problem is while I feel very competent in the subject of abortion due to research and experience, I don’t feel competent personally.

I mean, I’ve never even done anything to make an abortion possible, if you know what I’m saying. 😉

How can I emotionally help these people if I’ve never gone through anything like this myself? Logically I can do it.

But it’s kind of like the doctor who can treat cancer but never had cancer. There is a lost part, untouched.

Also I still have my own issue to grapple with in this arena. My parents are prolife, but not active superheroes. None of my friends are (I mean, they are prolife, not active, counselors, protestors, etc). I don’t know how I stumbled into this. I was dragged into it online for no apparent reason, went through what seemed like hade’s world, and people still are attracted to me.

I realize that counseling and arguing against abortion is a keen talent I have in real life. I can change people’s hearts. But why? And how? It’s not really me. And I didn’t choose it, either!

It’s gotten to the point where this issue is at the center of my life. I am choosing a career based on it. I am planning my family in fear of it. I have had enough death threats and physical threat to my immediate family to make me sick. What about when I have kids?

This last incident just really stressed me out. Now I need a pity party. 😃

Oh, and I exhanged numbers with the coworker. I’ve already suggested post-abortive therapy. I am also helping her to find ways to get the abusive boyfriend out of her life. I am getting her to document everything, make a statement, change her phone number, etc. She is, coincidentally, going to school to be a clinical psychologist so she agrees on a lot of this stuff.
 
hasikelee said:
How can I emotionally help these people if I’ve never gone through anything like this myself? Logically I can do it.

Obviously, you live your faith well. People are attracted to light! 🙂
Let the Holy Spirit speak through you. Pray for guidence. You don’t have to sin to be able to relate to people or feel worthy of helping them. Think of all the saints that were (and still are!)spiritual directors!

Oh, and I exhanged numbers with the coworker. I’ve already suggested post-abortive therapy. I am also helping her to find ways to get the abusive boyfriend out of her life. I am getting her to document everything, make a statement, change her phone number, etc. She is, coincidentally, going to school to be a clinical psychologist so she agrees on a lot of this stuff.
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I would make sure you keep a good, prudent distance as well. Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed! Keep always your own soul’s state first.
 
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