Anullments & Kids

[OutinChgoburbs]

I was over in Liturgy and Sacraments, participating in a thread where the OP claimed she was told it would be difficult to obtain a decree of nullity from his first marriage because he has children in the first marriage. My replies are there.

I received a decree of nullity, and while it wasn’t easy, my kids had no bearing on the anullment. I checked with a web site that deals with anullment myths. I checked another site.I looked in my copy of Anullment: The Wedding That Was. Nothing like that.

Those of you who are going through or have gone through the process- Did a priest, advocate or a tribunal oficial **ever **tell you that it is more difficult to obtain a decree of nullity because of having children in the first marriage?

Thanks.

 

[rusty20]

I’m not sure if this helps, but I know that as a child from an annulled marriage, I was never considered in the annulment process. I was of a knowing age (16) and was never questioned, and I don’t see why I would have been. The annulment process addresses the marriage at the beginning, before kids were present. Nothing happening inside the marriage is relevant, because its the beginning that matters, right?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I’m not sure if this helps, but I know that as a child from an annulled marriage, I was never considered in the annulment process. I was of a knowing age (16) and was never questioned, and I don’t see why I would have been. The annulment process addresses the marriage at the beginning, before kids were present. Nothing happening inside the marriage is relevant, because its the beginning that matters, right?

That was my thought.

But the OP in question seemed pretty adamant that this was the way things were (that having children in the first putaive marriage meant there was a less of chance of obtaining an anullment). So, because I have been known to have been wrong before, this, I thought perhaps there was a prescedent Imissed, or in another diocese this haivng childrne in the first marriage was a condition. I might be knowledgable, but I really don’t know everything.

And that’s why I asked.

And thank you- Because, as a kid from an anulled marriage, you confirmed not only that it had ntohing to do with you, but also that you have an idea of the rules and regs of Matrimony at the college age.

 

[Seatuck]

If any bearing at all children born after the marriage are evidence against the marriage being declared invalid because the spouses were open to life. In that case that would just eliminate those grounds .

No , seriously someone is making excuses there . I don’t believe it’s the writer of that thread. Unless they just believe in old rumors such as the kids will be declared illigitimate or something. We are getting the old "someone said they can’t get an annullment " reasoning that we have heard before .

 

[rusty20]

And thank you- Because, as a kid from an anulled marriage, you confirmed not only that it had ntohing to do with you, but also that you have an idea of the rules and regs of Matrimony at the college age.

No problem. Like I said, the children in my parents marriage were rather irrelevant in the annulment discussions, to my knowledge.

Even illegitimate marriages and “one night stands” can foster children, so the fact that children were brought about from the marriage could mean next to nothing in determining the validity of said marriage.

 

[KCtheMommy]

Hmmmmm, well a friend of the family got divorced after some 20 years of marriage. Upon wanting to go for an annulment, and to possibly remarry in the church, the adult children were FURIOUS that he even suggested the marriage was invalid, and demanded he not go through with it.

Could that be it? A case where it’s the kids requesting (or stamping their feet) that it not be annulled?

I am a child of an atheist and a fall away catholic who got divorced when I was three…this kind of thing never even enters my mind. DH and I were blessed in the church a few years back – not a chance of an annulment here (nor do I want one!). Could it be the kids, not the church/tribunal saying no?

POST SCRIPT: Never mind, I went and read it. Well in this particular case, no, but in other cases of long marriages and near-to or adult children, I think it could hamper it PERSONALLY. Not through the tribunal or the church.

I respect people having a “problem” with the church’s teaching and rules (typically known as the P-Side), I also respect most people have a problem when they are not “getting their way.” What has happened to our society, seriously, to think that only certain rules of our catechism should apply if the other rules inconvenience them. Lori, you amaze me taking all of this on so often. God Bless you my friend! Spreading knowledge and insight, despite frustrations is a tough job, but an honorable one.

This lady (the OP of the other thread) should mind her own business, period. Raise them Catholic AND non-denom (redundant) is spiritually sound? Oh puh-lease!

 

[IrishAm]

Could that be it? A case where it’s the kids requesting (or stamping their feet) that it not be annulled?

Children of a marriage are not involved in the process, regardless of their age. The parent, of course, may have chosen to back out and withdraw the petition in the face of the children’s reaction.

 

[KCtheMommy]

Children of a marriage are not involved in the process, regardless of their age. The parent, of course, may have chosen to back out and withdraw the petition in the face of the children’s reaction.

I think mom involved them once she found out he was going for the annulment. Nice huh?

 

[IrishAm]

I think mom involved them once she found out he was going for the annulment. Nice huh?

Maybe. But even so, it would appear to be dad who then decided to back out of the process under pressure. And perhaps he did the right thing for his children in pulling back for a while . . . if he sacrificed himself for his children’s emotional peace, good for him. Wouldn’t want to judge either of the parents in a situation of which I, obviously, know nothing . . .

 

[KCtheMommy]

Maybe. But even so, it would appear to be dad who then decided to back out of the process under pressure. And perhaps he did the right thing for his children in pulling back for a while . . . if he sacrificed himself for his children’s emotional peace, good for him. Wouldn’t want to judge either of the parents in a situation of which I, obviously, know nothing . . .

Amen. I just mentioned it.