Any Converts Now Find It Very Hard To Associate With Family Who Is Negative?

[sparkle]

Hello friends:

Has anyone else who is a convert found it increasingly more difficult to now associate with family and friends? Do you find nasty/negative comments thrown out towards you at family get togethers? I sure do. On Easter Vigil (my glorious confirmation–needless to say) my own father, a Prot. minister over dinner was telling me: “Your husband and kids NEED to go to the Prot. church honey, and so do you.”…Now this is real supportive…I asked him: “Dad why do they need such? shouldn’t my kids go where their parents feel they should go”? He said, NO, they NEED to go to the Prot. church". I just can’t go along with this any longer, and feel such a lack of support.

Just this next weekend, we have a family reunion scheduled up in my parents’ town–5 hrs. drive. Well, of course since my (enabled by them) sibling (in his 50’s) has now popped in yet again, our family, of course is shuffled off to a motel, whilst my 3 times divorced and married sister, stays there of course, with my enabled sibling, who quit his job yet again, with no money to feed himself and his wife. We (our family–supposed the stable ones) have always been on the bottom of the list, and ah, now I’m not only this, but the “Catholic”, now as well, getting the scorn of my Evangelical Fundamentalist Prot. family too!. Needless to say, I feel no support and an inkling to not go. I really do not want to. As Princess Abby said, I’m settling for very meager handouts from my family, pitiful. I cannot any longer. For I have a new church family, supportive ones, a life I’m trying to establish, and I haven’t realized how weird my family really is, I’m beginning to however. Parents have not said one positive thing about them even being excited for our coming up this weekend, rather expressing how stressed they are, thus, shuffling us off in a motel, and sounded totally stressed about the whole ordeal. WOW–real encouraging huh? Any advice? Man–family scenarios are difficult~~~ I really do not feel any hospitality here, should I follow my intuition? Hubby senses it too-----and yet another questioning--------too—“why did I become Catholic”? “Stop sending any Catholic Stuff”…etc., etc…“shut up”…real Christian behavior…
Thx for listening~~~

 

[catsrus]

I hear ya sister! Since my 8/02 Confirmation, a large part of my family and DH’s family just ignore me, when they’re not berating me. It got really bad this Easter when my 22 yr. old grandaughter was received into The Church. Now there’s 2 of us. Oh no!! After having my feelings hurt over ad over, we have moved 800 miles from them all. I wish I could say I missed them, but…
I will say that both my sons still speak to me, just not about religion. And my wonderful DH, who has no faith of any kind has always been very supportive, even against his own family. And that’s a huge plus for me; I know too many who don’t have that from a spouse.
Sometimes it’s a lonely road we are on but ‘keep your eyes on the prize’.

 

[dhgray]

I’m with you. The worst part is they (either intentional or unintentional are sending messages to my children that their lifestyle is ok. One (Evangelical sister in her 1st marriage - seems harmless) convinced the my daughters that wanted the children to spend the night and could go to church with them the next day. My sister is so proud since she helped start a Female Pastor only church in her area. My older sister out right says the Catholics are wrong.

I know this may sound bad, but if it were not for my parents, I’d have nothing to do with them (my siblings).

 

[Mamamull]

I am the only Catholic in my family. My father, God rest his soul, was the worst at nagging me about how nobody ever becomes Catholic by choice.

My brother who I used to fear, is now reading (St.) John of the Cross and is quite fond his writings. I figure that even though it is a Protestant book with a St. in it, the Saint will work on my brother.

I wore a St. Threse t-shirt and mentioned that she was a fan of St. John of the Cross, too.

Maybe, someday the fundamentalists in my life will convert.

 

[kellyb32]

My husband came from a fundamentalist evangelical background. It almost killed my mother-in-law when my husband decided to convert last year. Both he and I were confirmed together and we had our 3 children baptized on Easter Vigil.

My brother-in-law slammed my husband the day of our confirmation with such vile things about the RCC, that our children’s blood is on our hands because we’re bringing them into an anti-Christian cult. His current wife is Southern Baptist even though she attends the AG church now. This is her 3rd marriage too. Her parents are pastors and missionaries who were living in Malta, Italy for over 20 years trying to convert the Catholics there.

They mock us and our faith even in front of our children.

But hey I’m not Christian…I’m just the one who’s lived with the same man for 13 years (been together for 15). I’ve not been married 3 times like my brother in law or 2 times going on the 3rd like my sister in law. I don’t condemn someone of another faith and then turn around and go to church on sundays and wednesdays praising the Lord, singing for Jesus, speaking in tongues and then mf—ing her kids for disrespecting her as soon as they leave the building like my in-laws do (I’ve seen it happen). I don’t tell my kids I wish they would die like my mother-in-law does. But I’m not a Christian and they are.

My husband doesn’t call his mother disgusting names like his brother and sister do (he just avoids her) She’ll call her kids names, including my husband simply because he’s Catholic now, and justify it because they do it to her and make her mad. He doesn’t put them down for the choices they make, he’s not perfect but he doesn’t try to put on a show for church people either. But he’s not Christian anymore either because we’re Catholic now.

The one good thing is this…we know that my husband’s family will NEVER come to church with us again on a regular basis because we’re Mary worshippers and idol worshippers since we believe in the Real Presence…

I grew up Catholic, never was confirmed as a teen and started dating my husband when I was 17. I began attending the fundy churches with him and his family and turned anti-catholic myself for quite a few years. Then I saw the light and began to search and question what I was being taught. I’d ask questions and never get a straight answer or just “Pray about it sister.” Thus began my conversion back and my husbands conversion to the RCC.

Oh I forgot to mention that my husband’s parents had all the kids baptized in the Catholic church when they were infants, it was the Italian thing to do my mother in law said…she also recently told me that was a big mistake to have her kids baptized as babies in the RCC.

So this is what I’ve done to parry the blows that come my way:

1. Faithfully pray and read the Word of God (Catholic Answers Bible is a good one). Don’t have any good protestant study bibles? A great resource online is www.searchgodsword.org for all the different versions of the bible (including Catholic) and they offer protestant commentaries as well in case you don’t have access to actual bibles.
2. 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV) Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
   In other words, get a solid understanding of why you believe what you believe, have the scripture to back it up and know what others believe so you’re prepared to defend and explain your Catholic Faith.
   Great protestant sites: apologeticsindex.org/a13.html
   carm.org/index.html
   evidence.info/
   equip.org/
   Great Catholic sites: scripturecatholic.com/
   ic.net/~erasmus/RAZINDEX.HTM
   cin.org/users/james/index.htm
   internetpadre.com/
3. Ahh, if one thing is true it’s that we aren’t given patience, we must learn it through experience. Read Romans 5:1-5 (some translations say “patience” others say “perserverance”) either way, “the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (NAS) and that is what will shine in us when others put us down for our Catholic faith.

God bless you!

 

[sparkle]

kellyb32:

My husband came from a fundamentalist evangelical background. It almost killed my mother-in-law when my husband decided to convert last year. Both he and I were confirmed together and we had our 3 children baptized on Easter Vigil.

My brother-in-law slammed my husband the day of our confirmation with such vile things about the RCC, that our children’s blood is on our hands because we’re bringing them into an anti-Christian cult. His current wife is Southern Baptist even though she attends the AG church now. This is her 3rd marriage too. Her parents are pastors and missionaries who were living in Malta, Italy for over 20 years trying to convert the Catholics there.

They mock us and our faith even in front of our children.

But hey I’m not Christian…I’m just the one who’s lived with the same man for 13 years (been together for 15). I’ve not been married 3 times like my brother in law or 2 times going on the 3rd like my sister in law. I don’t condemn someone of another faith and then turn around and go to church on sundays and wednesdays praising the Lord, singing for Jesus, speaking in tongues and then mf—ing her kids for disrespecting her as soon as they leave the building like my in-laws do (I’ve seen it happen). I don’t tell my kids I wish they would die like my mother-in-law does. But I’m not a Christian and they are.

My husband doesn’t call his mother disgusting names like his brother and sister do (he just avoids her) She’ll call her kids names, including my husband simply because he’s Catholic now, and justify it because they do it to her and make her mad. He doesn’t put them down for the choices they make, he’s not perfect but he doesn’t try to put on a show for church people either. But he’s not Christian anymore either because we’re Catholic now.

The one good thing is this…we know that my husband’s family will NEVER come to church with us again on a regular basis because we’re Mary worshippers and idol worshippers since we believe in the Real Presence…

I grew up Catholic, never was confirmed as a teen and started dating my husband when I was 17. I began attending the fundy churches with him and his family and turned anti-catholic myself for quite a few years. Then I saw the light and began to search and question what I was being taught. I’d ask questions and never get a straight answer or just “Pray about it sister.” Thus began my conversion back and my husbands conversion to the RCC.

Oh I forgot to mention that my husband’s parents had all the kids baptized in the Catholic church when they were infants, it was the Italian thing to do my mother in law said…she also recently told me that was a big mistake to have her kids baptized as babies in the RCC.

So this is what I’ve done to parry the blows that come my way:

1. Faithfully pray and read the Word of God (Catholic Answers Bible is a good one). Don’t have any good protestant study bibles? A great resource online is www.searchgodsword.org for all the different versions of the bible (including Catholic) and they offer protestant commentaries as well in case you don’t have access to actual bibles.
2. 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV) Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
   In other words, get a solid understanding of why you believe what you believe, have the scripture to back it up and know what others believe so you’re prepared to defend and explain your Catholic Faith.
   Great protestant sites: apologeticsindex.org/a13.html
   carm.org/index.html
   evidence.info/
   equip.org/
   Great Catholic sites: scripturecatholic.com/
   ic.net/~erasmus/RAZINDEX.HTM
   cin.org/users/james/index.htm
   internetpadre.com/
3. Ahh, if one thing is true it’s that we aren’t given patience, we must learn it through experience. Read Romans 5:1-5 (some translations say “patience” others say “perserverance”) either way, “the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (NAS) and that is what will shine in us when others put us down for our Catholic faith.

God bless you!

Hey Kellyb32:

God Bless You Sister~~I’m with ya~

 

[StratusRose]

One valuable lesson I have learned is…Change the subject.

 

[joshua1]

My mother didnt care one way or the other at one time. Then she got real involved in her fundamental church with a new fervor and now she completely ignores everything I say that might be remotely talking about the Church. My dad on the other hand who at one time called the Pope a silly man in a dress, now stands up and defends me being Catholic when asked by his fundamental family and friends. But in general it hasnt been as hard as some of you have described.

 

[sparkle]

joshua1:

My mother didnt care one way or the other at one time. Then she got real involved in her fundamental church with a new fervor and now she completely ignores everything I say that might be remotely talking about the Church. My dad on the other hand who at one time called the Pope a silly man in a dress, now stands up and defends me being Catholic when asked by his fundamental family and friends. But in general it hasnt been as hard as some of you have described.

Geez----every family situation is sooo different aren’t they? I just never knew as coming from a Fundy Prot. background–that there could be such negativity! guess Jesus warned explicitly that “we will be persecuted” in this life. And that we will not have a life of all roses, otherwise I suppose we must not be living as called. As Josh above said, his folks sure had their different views-------thank God for Joshua’s dad who defends his faith now. Humm Joshua—perhaps your dad is seeking??? Tell him-----guide him to the Catholic Church. I just wish I had someone, anyone, who did this for me. But you see, I’m the one and only Catholic in my family ever. Guess hopefully I’ll begin a new line now hopefully, with one of my sons’ entering his confirmation program this fall----PTL!!! I can sure see God’s hand on my life. It’s exciting!

Blessings~~