Any Ex-Athiests on here - how to tell friends and family? Advice needed

[Mountains1]

Hi,

As the title says, I was a long time Athiest, and am currently in somewhat a crisis of faith and coming back to God (went to Catholic schooling, but rebelled). I haven’t done communion, and have been in touch with my local Church on the RCIA. The part that really worries me about all this, is the “coming out” to friends and family when I have been Athiest so long. Not overly overt about it, but certainly wouldn’t hide my views on it in conversations.
I am worried they will think I’ve changed and their must be a negative reason behind it rather than the positive reasons (I have a wife; and our young child on the way and feel very grateful), but more that, that they will see it as insencere, or incompatible with their thoughts of me.

It’s hard to explian, I’m hoping someone has gone through this before, it’s one of my biggest barriers at the moment and I don’t know what to do.

Thanks

 

[Lou2U]

If they are truly good friends, they will like you and respect you regardless of your beliefs. Perhaps some might find it a little hard to understand at first. I think actually quite a few would see your wife and child and understand the reasons for your change in belief. And I’m sure if you explain, they will get it. I’m sure the same will stand for your family.

 

[Mountains1]

Thanks Lou,

I think they’re good friends and will see that. I’m sure the ribbing would be short lived and nice in nature. My wife is similar, I went to Ash Wednesday services, and she thought - “Where’s this coming from”, so I have some work to do in bringing that along too as she isn’t religious (spiritual maybe), and I don’t want her to freak out either.

 

[Minks]

First, welcome to CAF! I hope you keep coming back, exchanging ideas and growing with us. Explore each forum, especially archived threads, where you’ll add to your overall understanding of the Catholic faith.

If you were baptized Catholic, then you are already Catholic. RCIA is for those converting from no faith or another faith who have never been baptized Catholic. That said, you do need some sort of bridge between the life to which you’ve been accustomed and the one which you intend to embrace if you’ve already been baptized Catholic, especially if you never received your First Confession, nor First Holy Communion. Those are the core sacraments around which your life will now revolve.

Over and over on CAF you will hear, “Talk to your priest,” and that is essential for your development and for your peace of mind. Your priest will decide if RCIA is required, or simply the quickest way to receive the sacraments, given your current level of understanding of Church teachings.

As to your anxiety over your friends learning about your change of heart, trust in Jesus. It could be that some among them have also been quietly restless about their futures and your decision will be the catalyst that drives them to alter the courses of their lives, too. If they gradually back away, or plain-out express any sort of disagreement, be as pleasant as you can muster and tell them that you’re disappointed that they feel that way. Who knows? They may one day follow you into the One True Church established by Christ, Himself.

The goal is the soul—yours and those of the family you are creating. From that perspective, earthly friendships pale, compared to the importance of salvation and everlasting life with God in heaven! We’re all in your corner! Please come back and keep us posted!

 

[Viki63]

RCIA is for those converting from no faith or another faith who have never been baptized Catholic.

True, but RCIA is also for anyone who wants to improve their understanding of the Catholic faith. I was baptized Catholic, and 50 years later went through RCIA when I returned to the church and was confirmed. So the OP could easily go to RCIA and would probably find it helpful.

 

[tafan2]

I am a cradle Catholic, so I cannot give you my direct experience, but I will still offer an opinion.
First and foremost, and this likely applies mainly to your family, if you are truly going through a conversion, it should affect how you deal with others. Quite simply, they should see an increase in kindness, understanding, forgiveness, etc. In a word: love. Pius devotions are incredibly important, eg prayer, sacraments, etc. But the only way they will understand is because they witness how you are more happy and kind and joyful.

There will always be those who consider it a weakness, a sign if not being intelligent. I have lived through this in my professional life. This you must ignore. It’s a very small type of persecution. It is a blessing (see the beatitudes).

Finally, don’t try to over explain yourself. Have a firm, logical argument, and accept that it won’t convince others, so don’t even use it unless necessary. This may not apply to your wife.

 

[dollysro]

Good for you and welcome back!
In my experience, it is actions rather than words that better explain
Be yourself–the new one, and friends and family will get it.
Congratulations!

 

[Convert3]

Welcome home!
You have and will change! You want to change and you want those you care about to see the change! You want them to change and come to the Faith, don’t you?
I converted three years ago and have no regrets. People will notice, and most will accept it. You never know how the Holy Spirit will work through you.
Don’t be afraid. This is a good thing!