Any ideas?

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vera_dicere

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So, I have a bit of a problem and was wondering what Catholic advice in regards should be.

I live in a block of flats (apartments) and teh walls are paper thin.

My neighbours see fit to have very loud, very vocalised, ah… “rude things that should be saved for marriage” quite frequently. The walls are so thin I can hear their conversations very clearly.

I know they’re not married. The couple there now is teh daughter of the woman who is usually there and that particular woman has gone overseas for an indeterminate amount of time to care for her sick mother.

For one, I don’t think the mother knows her daughter’s boyfriend is living there because when I spoke to the woman before she left she said that only her daughter would be there.

The other thing is I don’t think they realise just HOW thin the walls are, because well, I’m very quiet in my day to day living so they wouldn’t hear anything from me, and the flat on the other side of them is empty.

Also, its not like its at night time, one or both I beleive are unemployed (the mum said her daughter wasn’t working at the moemnt hence the reason she’s letting her stay in the flat), so 2 in the after noon isn’t unusual for them to “have at it”.

Anyway, what should I do? Should I politely inform the girl that the walls are paper thin, perhaps hinting at what can be heard? As a Catholic am I committing any kind of sin, or alllowing scandal to flourish by not speaking out? Should i just say nothing?

I mean, there’s actually a Greek Orthodox priest who lives in the same block of flats - well, I think he’s one, cos he dresses like one! I’d hate for him to have to tell them because it could be even more embarrassing to hear it from a priest, or she could just tell him to F off or something equally nasty, and it could also drive her away from possible salvation?

And like I said, its really loud, and I haven’t been sleeping well lately, so its not something I want to hear at 4 in the morning!!
 
You need to do something. I think its a matter of personal style how you handle it. Personally I would wait until they “have at it” again, and then bang on the wall and tell them to keep it down. All the better if they are capable of embarrassment, it will keep them from disturbing you in the future.
 
The noise is unacceptable. I can sympathize with you on this. My ears have also unfortunately been exposed to this kind of racket in the past.
You may try to tell this woman to quiet it down. If she isn’t responsive, then it would be best to contact the apartment manager in writing.
 
I read a question like this in Miss Manners’s column. Her response was something like: go over to the neighbor and apologize for any noise you may be making that is disturbing them. “The walls here are so thin that every little sound can be heard in the next apartment. I sincerely hope I’m not disturbing you with any noise that I’m making.” Hopefully they will realize that if they can hear you, you can also hear them.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
I read a question like this in Miss Manners’s column. Her response was something like: go over to the neighbor and apologize for any noise you may be making that is disturbing them. “The walls here are so thin that every little sound can be heard in the next apartment. I sincerely hope I’m not disturbing you with any noise that I’m making.” Hopefully they will realize that if they can hear you, you can also hear them.
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Hehe, I actually did this this morning! I went out on my daily walk, and I ran into her as she was heading off to work. We had a general chat about the weather, and I said “oh, yeah, look, um, its really hard to keep my lounge warm so I’m essentally living in my bed room - moved my TV in there as well. I was watching something late last night and was hoping you couldn’t hear it, because man, you can hear everything through these walls”.

She then started off about how her mum said she used to hear a previous occupant on the floor below and then the poor girl clicked and looked mortified!!

So hopefully that’s the end of it.
 
tell the landlord and let him deal with it. If the walls are that thing chances are insulation and fire barriers are not up to code and that is a real problem.
 
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