Any other ways to evangelize? Very frustrated

[emme13]

I am in a relationship with a guy who was brought up in a very conservative Protestant environment. His father is a pastor and his mother and brother serve in their church. He is aware that I am a very devout Catholic and that I’m not willing to convert. Nevertheless, we still love each other very much and help each other become better people. We are considering marriage.

There are times when we would get into discussions regarding our faith and etc. We are both troubled about it and don’t know what to do. He tells me one day that we shouldn’t force each other to convert to each other’s religions, which I know is true. I wasn’t trying to force him in the first place. What my problem is, he doesn’t want the both of us to even try (for example, encourage him to know about my faith, or lend him a book just so he can better understand mine). He also says he can’t see a future if neither of us converts (Which is kind of weird, after saying that he didn’t want to force or be forced). I am starting to feel frustrated and depressed but I know that I shouldn’t give up.

I know that he wants our relationship to work out but right now, we are both stuck. I don’t know how to make him understand that I am not trying to evangelize him for my sake but for his and for God’s. I am currently reading Catholicism and Fundamentalism by Karl Keating and The Faith Explained by Trese, so I can answer any question he may have about the Catholic faith. I know that all I can do now is pray for him and be a good example to him by practicing my faith.

I would like to know if there are other ways (not forcefully) to open his heart to the Catholic faith or at least let him be interested in knowing it.

 

[vindicated]

What a tough situation. I think you are on the right track with what you are doing. In my own experience with protestants, I have ended up alienating some by being too pushy. I have had more success by inviting them to watch good Catholic DVDs such as The Miracle of Fatima, Song of Bernadette, A Man for All Seasons, and The Keys of the Kingdom, to name a few.
I will pray for you.

 

[fastenatingguy]

This is a very difficult situation–which you already know.

My advice is to slow down.

Prayer is the only way to open his heart.

However, even if you do that, you are likely to not be welcome in his family.

 

[emme13]

His family is very warm and welcoming. They often have me for dinner and etc. And they really try to get to know me. But yes, I am worried that if he does think of converting, his parents might tell him to stay away from me or somewhere along that line…

Thank you for your advice and prayers.

 

[CDB1718]

He is aware that I am a very devout Catholic and that I’m not willing to convert.

What my problem is, he doesn’t want the both of us to even try (for example, encourage him to know about my faith, or lend him a book just so he can better understand mine). He also says he can’t see a future if neither of us converts

I am starting to feel frustrated and depressed but I know that I shouldn’t give up.

He says it is a deal breaker for him for a wife to be of a different faith than him. He says he isn’t willing to convert from his faith. He shows no interest in your faith, doesn’t support you in your faith in any meaningful way, and discourages you from talking about your faith because he takes your enthusiasm as an attempt to convert him, which he’s said is a deal breaker.

You talk about how kind his parents are and how much you love each other, but you’re ultimately depressed and frustrated with the situation.

So why is it that you shouldn’t give up? It looks like you’ve reached a make or break point and faith is a break it off issue for both of you that you aren’t going to find common ground on. You’ve encouraged each other on all the points of commonality you share and you’ve grown as a Christian by his presence, but you want to go deeper into your faith and he says he won’t ever go there with you.

He can be a great guy and not be the right one for you to marry.

 

[LittleFlower378]

I would keep the questions coming and figure the man out more. Another question you want to ask is how will you raise your children in the Catholic faith?

 

[Robertanthony]

He says it is a deal breaker for him for a wife to be of a different faith than him. He says he isn’t willing to convert from his faith. He shows no interest in your faith, doesn’t support you in your faith in any meaningful way, and discourages you from talking about your faith because he takes your enthusiasm as an attempt to convert him, which he’s said is a deal breaker.

You talk about how kind his parents are and how much you love each other, but you’re ultimately depressed and frustrated with the situation.

So why is it that you shouldn’t give up? It looks like you’ve reached a make or break point and faith is a break it off issue for both of you that you aren’t going to find common ground on. You’ve encouraged each other on all the points of commonality you share and you’ve grown as a Christian by his presence, but you want to go deeper into your faith and he says he won’t ever go there with you.

He can be a great guy and not be the right one for you to marry.

There is dreamland and then there is reality, you present the facts. The last sentence is worth gold. But lots of people don’t like to hear that, they much prefer fairy tales where two people kill each other because life without the other one seems unbearable (Romeo and Juliet). That’s co-dependency glamorized IMHO. OP is probably very afraid she won’t find a prospect as attractive and charming as this one, but without the faith barrier, am I not telling the truth? Besides, a sizable % of women like a guy that offers challenges.

 

[emme13]

We have actually talked about that, that it might be easier for us if we didn’t continue our relationship, but we are already at the point where we are both greatly attached to each other (and it was a mistake not to think about it in the beginning). We have ruled out breaking up now and we want the both of us to be in the same page in the end. I told him though, that if he really wants the both of us to work he should be open to knowing each other’s faith. I, too, really want the both of us to work out.

What my real question is if there are other ‘unforceful’ ways for me to open his heart to the Catholic faith, aside from example and prayer (These examples, I know of course are the best). Thank you everyone.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

In the Bible it says that the Jews are God’s chosen people, it also says that Christ chose us, in Islam it says God chooses whom he wills.

If God has had some say in every ones faith, do we fight against God if we try and change their faith? We can pray and do good deeds, I am not sure what else we can do.

I have had the privilege to be a Street Pastor for the last five years, we wander the streets until 3 am; coming into contact with anger, drunks, drugs, fights and of course lots of wonderful people too. This is a churches together ministry, I am a Catholic and Christians from eight denominations can be in my team too, before we go out on the streets, we pray for each other and we pray for all our concerns.

We depend on the power of these prayers to keep us safe, and to do God’s will, I find it to be a great joy when Christians can pray together despite their differences. People ask us what church are you from, I say Catholic, and my partners might be Anglican, Methodist, and Baptist. When people ask us about God; I am very aware of my Christian brothers and sisters differences, yet somehow we have to overcome these differences to put Christ first.

I am reminded that the greatest commandments did not say, convert everyone to the Catholic faith, we are to put God first and love our neighbour as we love ourselves, you can do nothing greater.

Just some thoughts.

Eric

 

[josephback]

I am reminded that the greatest commandments did not say, convert everyone to the Catholic faith, we are to put God first and love our neighbour as we love ourselves, you can do nothing greater.

We’re supposed to make disciples of all men, and they can only be fully taught and reach their full potential in the Catholic Church - which has the sacraments. This lead them to Christ’s Catholic Church is love of God and neighbor.

 

[InNomineDomini]

I would like to know if there are other ways (not forcefully) to open his heart to the Catholic faith or at least let him be interested in knowing it.

That is the work of the Holy Spirit.

St. Peter wrote, " *. . . *Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you." In order to do this, you must know your faith, live it out visibly, and pray deeply that the Holy Spirit provide you with individuals who see your hope and who want to understand it. You must then wait patiently to be called to account for your hope.

But what you so beautifully ask can only be accomplished with prayer. Why don’t you go over to the Prayer Intentions forum, and start a prayer request thread? You’ll find many willing individuals, myself included, who would be most honoured to pray for your friend.

 

[1ke]

He also says he can’t see a future if neither of us converts

He realizes that this will be a road to a very stressful situation, and ultimately the impasse you will reach on how to raise children will be the end of the relationship.

I know that I shouldn’t give up.

Au contraire. this is a giant billboard that says “not the relationship for you”.

I know that he wants our relationship to work out but right now, we are both stuck. I don’t know how to make him understand that I am not trying to evangelize him for my sake but for his and for God’s.

Honey,he does not believe he needs evangelizing.

I would like to know if there are other ways (not forcefully) to open his heart to the Catholic faith or at least let him be interested in knowing it.

That is the work of the Holy Spirit.

If you cannot accept him as he is right now, this is not the right relationship for either of you.

 

[CDB1718]

He realizes that this will be a road to a very stressful situation, and ultimately the impasse you will reach on how to raise children will be the end of the relationship.

Au contraire. this is a giant billboard that says “not the relationship for you”.

Honey,he does not believe he needs evangelizing.

That is the work of the Holy Spirit.

If you cannot accept him as he is right now, this is not the right relationship for either of you.

:yup:

 

[kkollwitz]

I recommend that no Catholic should marry a non-Catholic. Too much of marriage is bound up in a shared faith between two equally-yoked spouses.

 

[onmyknees]

I agree, since I have many years of experience being married to a non-Catholic. It is extremely hard to not share the same faith with your spouse. Prayers are always good!

In my case I have come to believe that it is God’s will for us.