Anybody else struggling with NFP lately?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mommy_G
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Ummm… Not to pry, so do not feel obligated to answer this. But Mommy G, how many children do you have? From the previous post, it sounds like you have multiple multiple? Wow!
 
Nope…no multiples. 6 pregnancies in 6 years. They are all so tiny, though, that when I am out shopping, people stare at us and ask if any are twins/triplets. And it is almost embarassing that they are not.

I usually get asked if I am Mormon first and then asked if I am Catholic. At least Catholic is in there! 🙂
 
Mommy_G said:
Thanks! Those are the two I know…! I was hoping there was something else out there.

I have had six pregnancies in six years.
Click to expand...
No matter what method you use it’s so important to constantly update and refresh your education… READ as much as you can and ASK as many questions as you can.

oh… I meant to ask…
You mentioned earlier:
But just to give an idea about how fertile I am, we conceived accidentally on the first try almost every time af resumed post partum. I am trying to extend with breastfeeding, but I have a constantly bfing 21 month old right now (this is the longest spacing we’ve ever achieved…done with total abstinence) and my pp infertility still lasted only about 6 months.
Click to expand...
You said you conceived “accidentally”… Were you actually using NFP to track your fertility at this time? Or were you just relying on breastfeeding to extend your infertility (btw - this is one area that I don’t trust… some women just don’t have suppressed fertility while breastfeeding… if you need to avoid conceiving then tracking your cycle is going to be your BEST bet - regardless of whether you’re using ecological breastfeeding or not)…
Have you been having regular cycles during these past 21 months of abstaining?

Again, knowing about the methods or just having a few classes may not be enough (especially if it’s been several years since you learned the methods)… refreshing your education is REALLY going to help! 👍
 
Mommy_G said:
…But right now we would be using NFP to avoid. That is using it for contraception anyway…
Click to expand...
Using NFP to avoid is not using it “for contraception anyway.” Using NFP to avoid is because you believe God calls you to avoid pregnancy at the moment. It is responsible use of the gift of fertility and sexuality relations in marriage that sharply contrasts with methods of contraception. The “contraceptive mentality” comes when a person or couple tries using NFP to “tell God” they won’t accept another child, rather than seeking His will for their family. When using NFP, couples should be open to God’s will. (They should also practicing other forms of chasity and avoiding all other sexual sins together or alone.) A couple that practice NFP and chastity after careful discernment that God wishes them to avoid relations during the woman’s fertile time is not acting with contraceptive mentality.
Mommy_G said:
…If we just did standard contraception, it is the same thing at this point, but then at least I don’t have to abstain during my most fertile time. It affects my desire.
Click to expand...
No it is not the same thing. During your fertile time, you “fast” from marital relations if you use NFP to avoid pregnancy. Fasting can produce great spiritual results. Artificial contraception does not require any fasting from relations during your fertile times. I suspect that since you and your husband have “fasted” for an extended time, you are now eyeing in the “forbidden fruit” of contraception. Look out for the serpant; he lies.

Your “most fertile time” *is *your most fertile time in several senses of the word–you have some significant reproductive potential that can be directed towards good or towards evil in your marriage. Abstaining (or not abstaining to potentially create more babies) brings blessing to your family and the world. Contraception works “contra”–against–your marriage and family. As I wrote earlier, I used to use contraception. I have also had several children spaced very close together so I understand the strain you feel. But believe me, artificial contraception is not the answer.

I hope that you find the information and strength you need to live out the Church’s teachings in your marriage. God bless you and your family.
 
Mommy_G said:
Nope…no multiples. 6 pregnancies in 6 years. They are all so tiny, though, that when I am out shopping, people stare at us and ask if any are twins/triplets. And it is almost embarassing that they are not.

I usually get asked if I am Mormon first and then asked if I am Catholic. At least Catholic is in there! 🙂
Click to expand...
Don’t be embarrassed by your children being closely spaced together. They are blessings! When you go out with your young children you are a beautiful witness to life! People forget that children are blessings and some even make rude comments, but don’t let that discourage or embarrass you. They are the ones who may be embarrassed on Judgement Day, and you might even get a few more jewels in your crown for bravely enduring their rude remarks.

By the way, I’m sometimes mistaken for a Mormon too. 😃 When I meet moms with several children I sometimes even ask “Catholic or Mormon?” 😉 I only do that if have my children with me so they know I’m a kindred spirit.
 
gardenswithkids said:
Using NFP to avoid is not using it “for contraception anyway.” Using NFP to avoid is because you believe God calls you to avoid pregnancy at the moment. It is responsible use of the gift of fertility and sexuality relations in marriage that sharply contrasts with methods of contraception.** The “contraceptive mentality” comes when a person or couple tries using NFP to “tell God” they won’t accept another child, rather than seeking His will for their family. **When using NFP, couples should be open to God’s will. .
Click to expand...
Amen, gardenswithkids! Great way to put it! Our submission to God’s will is what NFP really is all about.

👍

(I think we met last week in another thread;) )
 
Em_in_FL said:
Sorry to only address you… but don’t forget to seek help if necessary. Ovulation itself normally takes place over 36 hours on average… it’s the “signs” that may be giving you confusion. Consider getting assistance from your NFP teacher and doing additional research on your own for improving your interpretation of those signs…
Click to expand...
What a strange response. What makes you think it’s a misunderstanding of signs instead of an abnormally long phase two (correctly interpreted)?

By the way “phase two” means the period of time after the infertile “phase 1” period and before the infertile (post ovulatory) “phase three” period. Likewise, it is not the 2-3 day period of ovulation, but the period that begins far earlier and ends when ovulation ends. I don’t know if non-symptothermal methods maintain this terminology, but the long phase two is not a misreading of signs or misunderstanding of the method in this case.
 
nobeerinheaven said:
What a strange response. What makes you think it’s a misunderstanding of signs instead of an abnormally long phase two (correctly interpreted)?

By the way “phase two” means the period of time after the infertile “phase 1” period and before the infertile (post ovulatory) “phase three” period. Likewise, it is not the 2-3 day period of ovulation, but the period that begins far earlier and ends when ovulation ends. I don’t know if non-symptothermal methods maintain this terminology, but the long phase two is not a misreading of signs or misunderstanding of the method in this case.
Click to expand...
I think she means that the OP could be mistaking her phase 2 signs and thinking she’s close to ovulating. Emily is very knowledgeable on NFP. Many women mistake their fertility signs. For example, my “phase 2” could be mistaken as being from day 6 to day 26. I ovulate on day 23 usually. But after day 6 I get fertile type mucous but it doesn’t mean I’m fertile. Tacky mucous for me is infertile. I have it before and my pre shift six days and every day after ovulation until my period. But after charting for 1 yr, I know I am fertile around days 12-15, depending on how clear my CM is (since I have ovulated twice on day 18) I think that’s what Emily meant if I’m not mistaken.

ETA: I forgot to get to my point… instead of saying my phase 2 starts on day 6, it starts on day 15 meaning, less abstinence. Maybe that’s where the OP is confused.
 
nobeerinheaven said:
What a strange response. What makes you think it’s a misunderstanding of signs instead of an abnormally long phase two (correctly interpreted)?

By the way “phase two” means the period of time after the infertile “phase 1” period and before the infertile (post ovulatory) “phase three” period. Likewise, it is not the 2-3 day period of ovulation, but the period that begins far earlier and ends when ovulation ends. I don’t know if non-symptothermal methods maintain this terminology, but the long phase two is not a misreading of signs or misunderstanding of the method in this case.
Click to expand...
Misunderstanding of signs could definately be an issue. Cervical aversion can cause peak type muccous (although a bit different), even though its nowhere near ovulation.
 
nobeerinheaven said:
What a strange response. What makes you think it’s a misunderstanding of signs instead of an abnormally long phase two (correctly interpreted)?

By the way “phase two” means the period of time after the infertile “phase 1” period and before the infertile (post ovulatory) “phase three” period. Likewise, it is not the 2-3 day period of ovulation, but the period that begins far earlier and ends when ovulation ends. I don’t know if non-symptothermal methods maintain this terminology, but the long phase two is not a misreading of signs or misunderstanding of the method in this case.
Click to expand...
I apologize and didn’t mean to insult you in any way.
I also use the sympto-thermal method and am aware of how you’re describing the phases. I was only suggesting seeking guidance on reading those signs if NFP is becoming difficult for you and your wife to deal with… no insults, just encouragement!
I too have struggled with what seemed like long phase 2 periods… and I do understand that frustration. It’s what led me to really study the method and to read and self-educate a lot. I’m not an expert by any means… but I do recognize the benefits of getting help when needed.

My prayers are with you…
 
Struggling? Yes and no. Sad that we aren’t called to more children right away. But yes frustrated at post-partum infertility confusion. Last time was much easier to read. We are having a fair amount of abstinence and lots of acts of faith in renewing our marriage vows!😃

Gardenswithkids, you know your stuff!! I am so thankful when I see someone who isn’t called to use NFP be able to explain and defend it so well.

NFP is NOT contraception. It is abstinence. For something to be contraception it must be in the context of a sexual act. (before, during, after.) If one is having thoughts toward contraception, then yes, there is probably some “contraception mentality.” NFP doesn’t cause a contraceptive mentality. It can, as Gardens points out, lead one away from the thinking, through “fasting” from sex.

OP, please get support. Make sure you are heard. If your DH thinks NFP is contraception then there is a communication break-down happening. God bless you as you learn deeper communication. All of us are with you in that goal in marriage. A great form of communication is to first communicate Truth with our bodies.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top