Anyone else crave affirmation?

[B79]

I wish I could overcome the constant desire for approval and affirmation, and fear of rejection. A co-worker / friend whom I admire lost her brother – I left her a card, and am now fretting over the possibility that she won’t express appreciation for the card. How warped is that?

Please pray for me. Thank you!

 

[Irishmom2]

Have you considered professional help? You will live a very unhappy life if you continue to crave affirmation on the kinds of things you described.

Please know that while your gesture was lovely, the person receiving it is grieving. They may or may not take the time to give you an affirmation.

Keep reminding yourself that your kind gesture was meant to comfort the other person and not done for your affirmation. Perhaps that will help.

 

[B79]

Thanks for your response. You’re right about the situation, objectively speaking. The thinking isn’t always rational. Perhaps you’re right about the need for help.

 

[Irishmom2]

It couldn’t hurt. I wish you all the best. I think you will feel freer, not always waiting around for other people to affirm things. You can be the judge for yourself! No need to wait for their affirmation because sometimes, it doesn’t come. Does that mean whatever it was wasn’t good/clever/pretty/tasty/smart/thoughtful/etc enough? No, it doesn’t mean that. But sometimes, we have to do it for ourself and not care what others think or say or do.

 

[Allegra]

There’s a litany of humility that often plays on Catholic radio that might help you.

 

[B79]

Thank you, Allegra – that’s a good thought. I’ve heard it before, I believe. I should read it and see if ‘from the desire to be affirmed, deliver me, O Lord’ is one of the invocations.