Anyone else struggle with this?

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ineedofmercy

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When I leave confession I’m relieved to be in a state of grace

But I always fear that may i lose it soon

I’m under stress of fighting the impure thoughts that flow into my head
The constant jumping out of it gets unpleasant but I feel if I do nothing I’m mortal sinning by allowing these thoughts to persist and thus entertaining them

That small battle causes a lot of stress that over time makes we unknowing if I’m in grace of not
Then I usually fall back into my oorn addiction because of the headaches and temptation

I’m getting better and actually getting to confession (which was hard )
I have friends helping me and God is blessing me with hobbies and joy to keep me away from these evils
And I pray a decade of the rosary daily now which I’m very happy I do

My issue is that once I’m in grace I’m stressed because there isn’t a really an indicator of wether I crossed that line so I just feel that I need to go again
Once i sin the panic goes away but then I just feel like a huge failure for letting God,my friends,and myself down
I’m kinda scrupulous but not as bad anymore

Any advice will be awesome (I would love to get a Catholic counseler but i don’t want to tell my parents this :confused: )
 
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I’m afraid and don’t really want this to get around

It’s not like me to be depressed and no one wants anyone knowing about their porn issues especially parents or family

To ask for counseling out of no where (homeschooled) would be a shock and I would be in a bad spot after it
 
Maybe your parents aren’t as scary as you think.

They might actually be strong enough to handle a shock.

(And, as a word of encouragement, it’s a good thing that you see some improvement in your scrupulosity)
 
I can understand it would be deeply personal,something you mightn’t be able to share with your parents.
There are some great councelling sites (Catholic) on the internet that I’ve heard about on EWTN ,that’s one option.
I’m going to mass in a little bit,I’ll take your intentions with me.Something I do when I’ve just been to confession and start stressing about sinning again, is to give that to Mary and Jesus…like a weary child that feels a bit overwhelmed with it all.Just say it in the simplest words.And ask your guardian angel,St Micheal and the Holy Spirit to help protect you.Put it all in their hands and fill your mind with projects etc.
God bless.And you’re doing well 🙂
 
You’re not a failure.
You will undoubtedly sin again.
That’s what confession is for.
Be at peace, man
 
If you think you need counseling, maybe you could focus the theme of your conversation with your parents on the scruples rather than on the specific sin.
 
Be aware that we often think of the very things we don’t want to think of.

Perverse but true. I try to gently push them to one side and do something which requires some concentration or which will occupy my mind innocently. Praying the rosary will do this, see the mysteries and say the Hail Mary obviously and there’s not much spare capacity for the mind to wander about in.

You are the master of your temple. Pray and be confident in your faith.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
If you think you need counseling, maybe you could focus the theme of your conversation with your parents on the scruples rather than on the specific sin.
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Agreed. You don’t have to be specific if you don’t want to be, but you don’t have to suffer alone. This isn’t going to get better until you tell someone about it and ask for help. Is there a Priest/Spiritual Director you can talk to about this?

Please talk to your parents. It may be difficult but it will be worth it.
 
I talk to priests when I can

I sneak confessions in when parents aren’t around

I get an opportunity to confess every 3 weeks or so
But it sure beats the time I waited 3 years in continuous sin
I’m grateful that I can atleast make it around once a month now because I told my brother
 
I’ll give those a look actually I had no idea

Thank you

I’ve actually gotten closer to my guardian angel
And I’m glad he stays even when I’m not in a state of grace (he probably isn’t happy about it though)
I’ve given him a name (priest confuses my name with this name so it felt perfect)
I named him Scott and I look forward to meeting him in heaven
 
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ineedofmercy said:
I’m under stress of fighting the impure thoughts that flow into my head…
once I’m in grace I’m stressed because there isn’t a really an indicator of wether I crossed that line so I just feel that I need to go again…
Once i sin the panic goes away but then I just feel like a huge failure for letting God,my friends,and myself down
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One cannot sin mortally without full consent. What you describe is an anxiety issue, not a moral one. You need counseling from an experienced confessor.
 
I don’t think it’s appropriate to name your guardian angel. (Someone correct me if I’m wrong)
 
to ineedofmercy:

we have all kinds of temptations to sin and we get by them. Only you can control yourself to give up porn. put on some nanny controls so that they will slow you down to deal with the temptations.

Remember all sin is a form of idolatry, something that comes between us and God. You have to practice self-control in order to achieve it. There are hardly ever any times when we totally lose control. You have to build up your self control through practice. You have to develop something else to do instead of watching porn. Remember porn is degrading, dehumanizing, and belittling. Nobody can overcome this but you; they can’t do it for you.
 
That’s why I am so thankful God blessed me with new hobbies

I just need to have patience to wait for the times I get to leave the house and do something
 
Just read about his and it’s a great story

His name wasn’t exactly a name cuz it was a term of endearment
But I doubt giving them a name is bad
I think it’s s good way to grow close to them
 
I’m sure you’re fine.

I once read a series of books which were supposedly true which included ideas from everywhere including Catholicism. They were new age and full of error and likely to lead people to error. Most of it based around the idea of having a guardian angel. As soon as I spotted the first flaw I was on guard and I soon spotted more and more…

I try to stick to our faith* and what the Church teaches, not only is it genuine but it’s safe and will lead us to Life.

What St Pio to say about his guardian angel was wonderful. My own is active but I’ve never seen it.
God bless.
  • by which I mean one can’t help hearing or even seeing things from time to time which are erroneous and I might read or listen to one or two out of curiosity but I am aware that it is not Catholic teaching and therefore a curiosity only.
 
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Some saints have said our entire life must be one of beginning, and beginning again, cheerfully, as a child of God.
 
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