Anyone have experience with visiting nursing homes?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jennifer123
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jennifer123

Guest
hello-

I am thinking of trying to visit a nursing home once or twice a month, I don’t know why I’ve just felt so convicted of how the elderly, especially those in nursing homes, are treated. 60% of those left in nursing homes do not get visits from family.

Anyone have experience they could share? I’d like to possibly give rosaries and prayer materials. I have no idea how to begin other than to discern and pray a bit more about what I’d be getting into! 😛

Thanks.
 
My kids and I are part of a rotating group in our parish. Each month, a different family visits the local nursing home. We find out in advance how many residents have birthdays during that given month, and arrive at the home with balloons and home-made cards for them.

We get the list of birthday residents from the front desk, and then work our way around, visiting with everyone on the list. Normally we sing happy bithday, give them the balloon and card, and make conversation for a few minutes. As it is a secular nursing home, we don’t do anything explicitly religious unless the resident initiates it.

I have to say, it’s been good for us and good for the residents. They get such a kick out of seeing the little kids. (I have eight kids, ages 13 down to infant, and I try to bring them ALL.) It’s true, some never get visitors which is very sad, and it’s nice to brighten their day just a little.

I’ve heard of other service groups, run by high school girls, who go around giving little manicures to the residents. Really basic-- just clipping the nails, paint for the ladies if they want, and rubbing a little lotion onto the hands. It’s a helpful icebreaker for the girls, though, who otherwise might be at a bit of a loss to know how to start a conversation.

Hope this helps as a start?

Margaret
 
I have bisited people in nursing homes many times, but usually they were people I knew from somewhere. However, I would continuously meet more people in the hallways etc while I was there.

It is a wonderful thing to do. God bless you for wanting to spend some time with lonely people!

Something that people enjoy is when I bring my guitar and sing songs. If you play an instrument, that would be an idea?

Kathrin
 
My mom and friends go to a nursing home and lead rosary once a week. She brings extra rosaries for those who don’t have their own and non-Catholics have been known to join them. There are different people who take turns bringing communion to nursing homes and home-bound on Sundays.

These are simple and concrete ways of getting started and could evolve into your own thing. I like the ideas Red Meg suggested. Anything to help facilitate conversation and getting to know the person.
 
You wonderful people make me feel bad… I haven’t had many good experiences with seniors, I’m hoping it’s just that, a few bad experiences. I remember being made to visit a nursing home when I was in Girl Guides to sing carols at Christmas time, and I remember all the seniors just staring at us, the place smelled like cigarette smoke, so bad I could hardly breathe, let alone sing… My maternal grandparents are… rather strange, to put it lightly. I’ve talked to a lady I knew who worked in a nursing home, who told me how perverted the old men were, and the nasty comments they made to her. I was cornered once by an elderly woman who kept telling me that my bf and I would never last, because everyone changes so much over the university years. my mother has been told by our parish priest to avoid a 90yo man in our parish, for various reasons. We used to visit him and stuff, but now I think he’s developed some kind of crush on my mother… x.x I know a lot of this stuff is just old people deteriorating mentally, but it makes me a bit nervous to converse with them. Am I the only one who has experiences this? I hope this isn’t off topic or anything, I am sharing my experiences with seniors…
 
pumpkinbeast said:
You wonderful people make me feel bad… I haven’t had many good experiences with seniors, I’m hoping it’s just that, a few bad experiences. I remember being made to visit a nursing home when I was in Girl Guides to sing carols at Christmas time, and I remember all the seniors just staring at us, the place smelled like cigarette smoke, so bad I could hardly breathe, let alone sing… My maternal grandparents are… rather strange, to put it lightly. I’ve talked to a lady I knew who worked in a nursing home, who told me how perverted the old men were, and the nasty comments they made to her. I was cornered once by an elderly woman who kept telling me that my bf and I would never last, because everyone changes so much over the university years. my mother has been told by our parish priest to avoid a 90yo man in our parish, for various reasons. We used to visit him and stuff, but now I think he’s developed some kind of crush on my mother… x.x I know a lot of this stuff is just old people deteriorating mentally, but it makes me a bit nervous to converse with them. Am I the only one who has experiences this? I hope this isn’t off topic or anything, I am sharing my experiences with seniors…
Click to expand...
Let me emphasize that it’s my mom and her friends that go. Not me. I don’t do so well with seniors either, had some similar experiences to yours. I think some people do better with different age groups like youth, others little kids, others still people with who are differently-abled. Misanthropes like me help out at the Humane Society 😉

I have a great deal of appreciation for those who do spend time with the elderly or other lonely people. I’m just offering my support for those who do.
 
I am a registered nurse who worked in nursing homes for several years before I went into hospital nursing. God bless you for your kind heart toward the elderly! I would advise you to check with the staff before you just walk in and visit someone. The activity director of the nursing home or the charge nurse could tell you who might be good to visit and who might not be welcoming of a visitor, or even know you are there – this is a sad reality of caring for those with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. I worked in one home which had an entire wing for patients who had been transferred from the state psychiatric hospital. Many had bizarre behaviors, used foul language, and behaved in a manner which would be inappropriate for “regular” people (i.e., removing their clothes, urinating in the potted plants, etc.)…and many of these folks would not be welcoming of a visit from a well-meaning stranger, unless you came bearing gifts of candy or cigarettes! So check with the activity director first, and then go brighten someone’s day. Sometimes it’s easier if you volunteer to help with the regular planned activities first, until you get to know some of the residents. Thank you for caring! 👍
 
Jennifer123 said:
hello-

I am thinking of trying to visit a nursing home once or twice a month, I don’t know why I’ve just felt so convicted of how the elderly, especially those in nursing homes, are treated. 60% of those left in nursing homes do not get visits from family.

Anyone have experience they could share? I’d like to possibly give rosaries and prayer materials. I have no idea how to begin other than to discern and pray a bit more about what I’d be getting into! 😛

Thanks.
Click to expand...
I used to volunteer weekly at my local nursing home. If you want to volunteer, contact them, and arrange to have whatever is necessary done-- they’ll want to make sure you have the right vaccinations to make sure you can’t get the residents sick.

I would volunteer on Sundays, and help bring the residents to and from the Catholic communion service. Unfortunately they are usually unable to have a Mass (lack of a priest to serve), but most every week they are able to have a deacon come from a local parish to do a communion service.

-Rob
 
I trained my dog as a puppy, she was a Jack Russel, to visit in nursing homes. I trained her in basic ways but also to slowly approach people, scoot close to people, and to be used to have ears etc.
It was a great way to visit, and a good excuse to use to leave. I went in and asked the nurses if i could bring my dog. I started with the most coherent, but eventually worked my way into the lock down department. There were many elderly who were practically abandoned by relatives. They loved to see my dog every weekend. For those with family i had an amazing experiance. One man had been visited bi-weekly by his neice for years. He never spoke and rarely made attempts to communicate. But when my dog came he wanted to learn her name…he had forgotten how to speak and was only able to babbel a voul sound for a few weeks, however, with a couple months he started speech therpy. His neice started to bring her dog and by the end of a year they were having conversations!!

Never doubt the impact you can make.
 
Meggie said:
I went in and asked the nurses if i could bring my dog…They loved to see my dog every weekend.
Click to expand...
Aren’t pets a wonderful gift from God? One time while I was working at the nursing home, I stopped in with one of my cats. There was one lady who I never saw crack a smile in the four years that I worked in that place…until the day I showed up with “Claudine” in tow. That cat’s visit was the bright spot in many of those people’s week! But by the time I made it through three of the four halls, Claudie-girl was tired and ready to go home. She got a month’s worth of petting in an hour, I think! Good for you for asking the nurses first – you never know who’s allergic, and not everyone loves our four-legged friends as much as we do. 👍
 
pumpkinbeast said:
We used to visit him and stuff, but now I think he’s developed some kind of crush on my mother… x.x I know a lot of this stuff is just old people deteriorating mentally, but it makes me a bit nervous to converse with them. Am I the only one who has experiences this? I hope this isn’t off topic or anything, I am sharing my experiences with seniors…
Click to expand...
I have experienced stuff like this before. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. We have to realize though that these are often lonely people who are starved for human affection.
I think more often than with nursing home patients, I have made this experience when talking to/volunteering with homeless people. Same reason, I guess.

Kathrin
 
Thanks all for you replies, they were all very informative. I’ll call around and see is there are any volunteer opportunities to get me going…I hope I can be as charitable as you all are in your volunteer pursuits! 👍
 
we work through the activities director of the nursing homes to set up times for the priest to say Mass for Catholic residents, for minsters to bring communion, for a weekly rosary, for youth group to visit on special occasions. YG visits 3 times a year to play bingo and other games, sing songs, and just be with the residents. We cannot bring any items, including gifts, food etc. without permission of the facility. We usually go by their suggestions. We are also reminded that these visits are to serve the needs of the residents, and the facility, not our own needs (need for service hours for confirmation etc.).
 
I would also recommend calling the centers first and talking to the activity director. Many of the centers have planned events that you can begin with. Brining a well-behaved dog can also be a welcome. I’ve had good luck with my girl scouts singing patriotic songs or older folk tunes that the residents might recognize. even in a secular nursing home you might be able to start a rosary group or other prayer time. Just check with the director first!!
 
Jennifer123 said:
hello-

I am thinking of trying to visit a nursing home once or twice a month, I don’t know why I’ve just felt so convicted of how the elderly, especially those in nursing homes, are treated. 60% of those left in nursing homes do not get visits from family.

Anyone have experience they could share? I’d like to possibly give rosaries and prayer materials. I have no idea how to begin other than to discern and pray a bit more about what I’d be getting into! 😛

Thanks.
Click to expand...
My mother used to make an effort to visit a woman in a nursing home and take her to Sunday Mass with us as a child.

We did so for a while until such a time that my mother - with much sadness - felt it was too difficult - and too much liability to transport her as she grew very unstable and uncertain in her mobility. At one point she tripped in church and had my father not been able to catch and steady her, she may have been seriously hurt.

As Catholcism is a race until death - to fight the good fight and die a good death - this ministry to the elderly in their twilight should be take VERY seriously. Who knows, the person you stengthen in faith today, may be the saint praying for you tomorrow.
 
Sr_Sally said:
Brining a well-behaved dog can also be a welcome. QUOTE]

If you have an interest in incorporating a therapy dog into your work, please contact me privately. I can help you with taking the steps needed to get an individual dog trained and certified for this sort of work. And I did it with a shiba inu! (A breed NOT known for obedience) After being told it could not be done, I felt the need to show them it could. Not easy, but always a joy!
Click to expand...
 
Jennifer123 said:
hello-

I am thinking of trying to visit a nursing home once or twice a month, I don’t know why I’ve just felt so convicted of how the elderly, especially those in nursing homes, are treated. 60% of those left in nursing homes do not get visits from family.

Anyone have experience they could share? I’d like to possibly give rosaries and prayer materials. I have no idea how to begin other than to discern and pray a bit more about what I’d be getting into! 😛

Thanks.
Click to expand...
I don’t know exactly what everyone else has said (sorry; I don’t have time to read all of it, please don’t be offended), but I grew up volunteering at a nursing home. My mom would always go there, not as an official volunteer, but as a friend to all the elderly people who lived there. After a while, she was persuaded by one of the nuns who ran the place to sing at Sunday Masses. She did that for a few years as well.

From all the experience I’ve had visiting with my mom, I have to say that the most effective thing you can do is just to be their friend. Visit, talk, swap stories, maybe after you get to know them you can ask advice (everyone loves to give advice…especially older folks), and so on. Handing out rosaries and offering prayers are fantastic, but I think the most powerful thing is to sit with them and talk with them. Smile and laugh and show (don’t use words, but actions) them that even though they’re stuck in a home, they have worth and are still beautiful and beloved children of God.
 
I have volunteered and worked in nursing facilities since I was in 7th grade. Let me tell from my experience I have gotten so much more out of it than I ever thought I would! My work was not work and volunteering was something that I benefited from and enjoyed greatly which is also one of the reasons I got a job in a nursing facility. If you desire to visit those in nursing homes/facilities then God will reward you greatly! God Bless!
 
A topic I know something about…I visit one five days per week…have been for the last 25 years! I am the activity director (actually Recreation Therapist) other posters have been talking about. To keep things in perspective…many folks who live in care facilities are just old and sometimes confused, sometimes they may smell funky but remember we’re all headed that direction, too. They have lived real lives, had families, jobs, sorrows/joys, and at this point many have outlived their spouses, siblings, peers, and sometimes children. What they really need are friends. There are simple easy things you can do for them. Ask the AD to assign you to one alert/oriented person to be their special friend, offer to come in and call the bingo numbers (most residents that play bingo are pretty with it), do you play cribbage, checkers, cards, can you juggle. I love my residents and I know they love and appreciate me but I also know they need to see other faces
other than mine! Children are always a big hit. Help your children make cards or place mats. Offer to help plant a garden. There are millions of things you can do brighten their day. Activity people want you to continue to volunteer, so we won’t assign you the scarey residents. I have witness the most confused, disoriented resident pray the Rosary, because a volunteer took the time to sit and pray with them. Go and get to know the residents…you won’t regret it.
 
Some very very good advice in these posts!

As a teenager, I had a job working in the kitchen of a nursing home. Part of my duties were to feed some of the residents at meal times who could not feed themselves. Most of the ‘scary’ residents. At first, this was rather uncomfortable, and no words were said, as I fed then like a babe. A week later, I had new friends in every room who couldn’t wait to tell me the latest gossip, tell me old war stories, jokingly complain about a nurse or the food, tell me all about their loving or not so loving families … you name it.

I got so much out of that part-time high school job!

Don’t be afraid to ask the Activity Director if they need any help at meal times! They usually always do.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top