Anyone married to someone with a life threatning and changing illness?

[TarAshly]

my fiance has diabetes and sometimes i find myself wishing things were different, i wish we didnt always have to worry about suringes and insulin and who has a pen and making sure theres emergency injectors everywhere, i love him to no end, but im wondering how other wives or husbands deal with this and the worry about losing them? his health is a constant concern i find my self studying him often to see whats going on, if he falls asleep and breaths weird i freak out and shake him awake. how do i get over the fear of losing him, and how do i adapt my pick up and go in a hurry lifestyle to his? just to note however that this nor anything would ever make me question our marriage or consider leaving him. im in it for life no matter what but in need of advise. he had a sugar crash last night and when this happens it terrifies me. what can i do?

 

[space_ghost]

Education, (self education) is a great medicine for fear of the unknown… you have a computer, get on line and research your spouses disease, and then research the symptoms and their treatments… speak to your physician (husband’s physician), get all the pamphlets and brochures that you can obtain from the Dr’s office and local hospital concerning your husbands disease…

There are support groups on line and i am sure your husbands Dr can put you in touch with a few more people who are experiencing the same fear you suffer from…

All the while you are doing this… try to pray a rosary once a day if your not doing it now… remember, God loves you, hears your plea’s, and you have the support from all of the people in these forums…

May the Love of God, the fellowship of his son Jesus Christ, and the Strength of the Holy Ghost be with you and your family…

I wish you Peace…

 

[TarAshly]

thanks so much, actually we were talking last night, we are both heavily involved in our church with the CCE pre marital counseling the Knights and volunteering etc… however in our home life we’ve strayed a little so starting last night we prayed together before bed, and we’re going to be stricter about going to mass and confession and spending time everyday praying our rosary or reading the bible or a religiously educational book and we hope that bringing that spirituality back into our home lives will ease our stress, and bring us closer together again. maybe it will work for this too.

 

[Finella]

Hi TarAshley,

The suggestion of finding a support group, online or in real-life, is great. It would help if you had support from other wives/spouses/family/friends of diabetics and for your husband to know that there are many others who have to deal with the same things he does.

I would also like to suggest a book…I think it’s called “The New Sugar Busters”. It was technically put out as a diet book, but I found it had a ton of useful info on how the body works…specifically insulin etc.

It is so great to hear that you are “in this for life” no matter what. Your husband is very lucky to have you:yup:

Like someone else mentioned, education is the key. Attack the issue like you probably did when you decided to become Catholic…read everything you can get your hands on!!! Talk to people who have diabetes… I would think it might be helpful to talk to diabetics who are suffering complications (like amputations, strokes etc) and see what they know they should have done differently.

My grandfather just had to have his leg (below the knee) amputated, my grandmother died from diabetes related stroke (she didn’t take eating right seriously) and my neighbor had a stroke this summer and now requires around the clock home care.

I am not trying to scare you. I am sure that you and your fiance are well aware of the facts. But I also know that people in general have the “that won’t happen to me” attitude…

I wish you both well on your upcoming wedding, dealing with his illness, and your future life together.

Finella

 

[TarAshly]

just wanted to say thanks for the advice, i went to webMD and found an online forum for support, advice, and info hopefully it will help.

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Yes, my husband has type 2 diabetes, heart disease, degenerative disk disease, and some problems related to his service in Vietnam. It’s not easy, but that’s what I get for marrying someone much older than myself.

 

[grammylou]

My husband suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis with a profound manifestation of boutonniere’s syndrome. It’s not an every day life threatening disease, but it does affect our life every day and it is degenerative. Some of the medications he takes are very dangerous and need to be monitored closely. He can injure himself very easily and lots of care needs to be taken.

So our situations are a little different and a little bit the same. We are middle-aged, have raised our children. So many things can happen over a life-time. You cannot plan for everything, but you can plan for what’s reasonable.

You are a person in your own right. If you lose him, you will surely miss him, but you will go on. Cherish him today.

On the other hand, life is strange and things happen to us everyday that we cannot foresee. He needs to be equally prepared to go on through life without you. How many wonderful, strong, healthy, young people were lost on September 11?

So, you both need to make plans, take sensible well-thought out precautions, and then live each day with great love.

 

[puzzleannie]

The key is education, you have a great responsibility as the wife of a diabetic because you will be in charge of meals which is so important. Our daughter faced this identical situation and has never regretted marrying this fine man, even though their daughter was diagnosed at age 9 with the same thing. Because of helping her husband manage the disorder she was well prepared to teach her daughter.