Appalled at attitudes of the young

[ThePaladin]

I agree. It is true that many times people will say, “it is what is in my heart that matters” but if it is in your heart then you will show it in your actions. If you love someone you want the best for them and that includes showing them the respect they deserve and Jesus in the Holy Eucharist deserves our most respect.

IMHO

I see it as we need to remember teens are still learning and still growing and yes they should at that age be able to show respect but we still need to be teaching them.

Also, I have been to several school masses for younger grades, where the little ones are taught to sing and do all kinds of cute little jumps and hand motions to songs and the priest comes down and talks to them and gets them to laugh and answer questions so maybe we need to stop making mass cute and fun when they are little and by the time they are teens they will better know how to behave.

Exactly, And this is something that I do not envy parents on. If God wills to bless my wife and myself with children, I know that it will be quite a challenge to both explain the faith on children friendly terms And stay true to the gravity of what is being expressed in our faith.

It strikes me that this balance is absolutely critical, as when the child grows into a teenager and then a young adult, a transition in their faith must accompany the maturation in growth. No longer will the child like faith be sufficient. I get the feeling that if the faith is too “Child like” in growth, such a transition will be far more challenging.

 

[englishredrose]

But is a deadly serious looking face any more a sign of respect than a happy welcoming peaceful face upon Christians ?

 

[Diana_Catherine]

But is a deadly serious looking face any more a sign of respect than a happy welcoming peaceful face upon Christians ?

Could be. It depends on how happy and welcoming people get. I’ve seen people get a little too happy and too welcoming and talk and giggle through mass. That serious looking face may have serious looking problems.

 

[TheDoors]

The family has always held the greatest responsibility in raising children to faith. I think that we’re getting a very “protestant” outlook, atleast here in the US in that one goes to church on Sunday for the “week’s religion”, and then ignores it the rest of the week. If we are to expect our children to behave properly before God, we must set the example at home, at the resteraunt, and out visiting. I believe that if our children see us humbled before the majesty of God in our daily walk they will understand how vast our creator is, and will stand appropriately before Him.

However. This is all based on second-hand evidence. I have no children. 0. None. I have simply noticed that people that pray in front of their kids and include their children in bible study, prayer and religious education have kids that pay attention in church instead of laying on the pew or drawing in the back of the missalette.

 

[englishredrose]

Could be. It depends on how happy and welcoming people get. I’ve seen people get a little too happy and too welcoming and talk and giggle through mass. That serious looking face may have serious looking problems.

and im one of the chatty ones per se and luckily the priest understands where I am coming from and says he doesn’t mind and keeps indicating he don’t mind by in the vestry he is quite willing to chat back about nothing at times. I respect his silence when he goes and does his prayers etc but he understand my need to be easy going rather than devote serious look.(I am in a team of servers and we are quite lively thankfully)

Happy faces can have and often have more serious problems than the ones who are serious faces. If you want to measure how serious a problem is in such terms. Just that we leave our problems elsewhere and need the lighter mood to do so. But our focus on God is just as strong. Just because one has a serious devote face on them it does not indicate they have a serious problem per se. It is what they have been taught how to look in the past and they cannot change. But its far friendlier to have a happy smiley congregation smiling back at you rather than the devote serious glare that if you look closely enough, there is a twinkle in their eyes but they daren’t show it because they think they shouldn’t because it not about that… or something

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

Hi, I certainly empathize with what you are saying. You seem like a patient and caring person who wants the best for the students.

Your school may already require uniforms, I just mention this as something I noticed about a public school nearby:

In my city, one school that was having discipline problems decided to “go strict” and have uniforms. Those who could not afford them were given them free or at a discount. The grades improved dramatically and interestingly, the students developed a wonderful new school pride and fights decreased. Instead of trying to outdo each other with expensive sneakers and “cool” outfits, (and gangs) they began to distinguish themselves with their minds, their polite answers and respect for each other and their teachers. They sat up straighter in their seats and lost some of the “attitude!”

I think Catholics have always had a good idea here with the uniforms. Children can still have play clothes for after school, but they don’t have to compete as far as school attire. The parents love it too! I wish I had been raised Catholic!

I think adults have often given up their right to discipline. The real goal of discipline is to teach the child to* self *discipline. One thing I think that helps tremendously is to talk to the child about things BEFORE they come up. Don’t wait until the child is a preteen and getting her first cell phone or computer to warn her about predators online and about mean texting and bullying. Tell the child over time what to watch out for. This worked for me and my Daughter and Granddaughter who are so sweet, are on the same page with this method.

God loves all these teens, and if they are misguided, I truly believe that an older person can, with tact and kindness, teach them things that they might not have been taught at home. Kindness, when correcting someone is really key. For a year in middle school, I was being rather disrespectful in a science class, giggling and rolling my eyes. My counselor said, “Kathryn, do yourself a favor. If you flunk this class, you’re the one who won’t go on to high school. Do you really want to give that teacher whom you dislike so much that power over you?”

He was so kind, telling me I had potential but that behaving like a brat would only hurt me. He really turned me around, but if he had been simply righteous and mean like the teacher, I would not have listened. I felt that he cared what happened to me, while she, the teacher didn’t. Maybe that is what teens rebel against, a sense that older people are just cranky and mean for the sake of being in charge!

God bless all here, He is so patient with us all:heaven::grouphug::harp:
Kathryn Ann

 

[MissRose73]

Reading some of the stuff in Kathryn’s post makes me wish that my parents were able to send me to Catholic school instead of public schools. I was teased because of my looks, lack of style with my hair and clothes which at times made my grades suffer because I was not able to concentrate at times. To be honest, if schools had strict dress codes both public and private, children would take more pride in their school work instead of competing against each other to see who has the best clothes & shoes because their parents can afford a $100 pair of tennis shoes and $50 pair of designer jeans.

 

[englishredrose]

Reading some of the stuff in Kathryn’s post makes me wish that my parents were able to send me to Catholic school instead of public schools. I was teased because of my looks, lack of style with my hair and clothes which at times made my grades suffer because I was not able to concentrate at times. To be honest, if schools had strict dress codes both public and private, children would take more pride in their school work instead of competing against each other to see who has the best clothes & shoes because their parents can afford a $100 pair of tennis shoes and $50 pair of designer jeans.

no but there are other ways kids are mean to each other and you may have experienced worse instead of what you did experience. Just because one is forced to dress well doesn’t stop bullying etc… Your grades suffered because no one really saw how it was affecting you and weren’t able to reach out to you to help you through it. You cannot change the actions of others but you can with lots of help etc, change how you respond to what others do. And yeh this is what am struggling with right now personal change is hard but worth it. I now have someone really listening and patient and guides giving me hopefully the strength to change me.

 

[MissRose73]

no but there are other ways kids are mean to each other and you may have experienced worse instead of what you did experience. Just because one is forced to dress well doesn’t stop bullying etc… Your grades suffered because no one really saw how it was affecting you and weren’t able to reach out to you to help you through it. You cannot change the actions of others but you can with lots of help etc, change how you respond to what others do. And yeh this is what am struggling with right now personal change is hard but worth it. I now have someone really listening and patient and guides giving me hopefully the strength to change me.

Looking back, I am sure I could’ve changed my reactions and stuff but then when you are an introverted preteen and teen who didn’t really know how to stand up for yourself and/or report what happened to you to a trusted adult. But, as an adult now it made me realize there are more important things than wearing the most stylish clothes and hair do’s. I do not think any school is 100% perfect in terms of kids not picking on other kids no matter the type of school it is.

 

[hansard]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.
Just to answer Kathryn Ann (3 posts above): uniforms are compulsory in our school. Have been for… ever. They look nice, too. Very smart and “private-schooly”.

The gymnasium is always decorated beautifully for school Masses (which occur about 4 times a year): this time we had the big words “Courage, Hope, Compassion” at the front of the hall. These are from the school’s Mission Statement, proudly publicized on the school website.
At Mass, the choir always sings modern, upbeat Christian songs. They are very well rehearsed. Likewise, the readers, extraordinary Eucharistic ministers (students) and processors of the Offertory are always rehearsed and diligent.
The school has always been proud of the way it does the “big ticket items”. The Parish often calls on the expertise and management of the school in doing big events. Indeed, the big Christmas Eve Mass is celebrated in that same gym, with lavish decorations, music to be admired and generally a professional, well organised air about it.

My point is this: all the lovely uniforms, decorations, rehearsed choirs, modern music and mission statements are just gloss on what should be (judging by the school’s location and clientele) a down-to-earth, traditional place of Catholic education. Our founding charisms are the De la Salle brothers and the Sisters of Mercy; how much more down-to-earth can you get? Wholesome, traditional Catholic education should be our stock in trade.

I cannot recall, in the ten years I’ve worked there, any significant education on the true meaning of the Eucharist, the conditions for receiving it, the method of receiving it, or the theology behind it.

It was different in the early to mid 1980s when I was a student at the place. Then, we had brothers and nuns in the school. It is entirely a lay staff now.

If we can’t do better with the foundation ritual of our faith, then what’s the point, really?

 

[Diana_Catherine]

and im one of the chatty ones per se and luckily the priest understands where I am coming from and says he doesn’t mind and keeps indicating he don’t mind by in the vestry he is quite willing to chat back about nothing at times. I respect his silence when he goes and does his prayers etc but he understand my need to be easy going rather than devote serious look.(I am in a team of servers and we are quite lively thankfully)

I hope you don’t mean you are chatting during mass. If you mean before mass or after mass is over. Then chatty and friendly is fine. During mass we need to be respectful of others being in prayer. Mass is not the time to socialize but it is okay before or after.

Happy faces can have and often have more serious problems than the ones who are serious faces. If you want to measure how serious a problem is in such terms. Just that we leave our problems elsewhere and need the lighter mood to do so. But our focus on God is just as strong. Just because one has a serious devote face on them it does not indicate they have a serious problem per se. It is what they have been taught how to look in the past and they cannot change. But its far friendlier to have a happy smiley congregation smiling back at you rather than the devote serious glare that if you look closely enough, there is a twinkle in their eyes but they daren’t show it because they think they shouldn’t because it not about that… or something

Having a happy face is different than disturbing mass. I agree, a serious face doesn’t mean serious problems and a happy face doesn’t mean no problems and visa versa but since we don’t know what is always going on with the other person and they are there to pray we need to give them that respect as we may want or need it ourselves someday or many days.

 

[englishredrose]

I hope you don’t mean you are chatting during mass. If you mean before mass or after mass is over. Then chatty and friendly is fine. During mass we need to be respectful of others being in prayer. Mass is not the time to socialize but it is okay before or after. No I don’t err, in that if who ever is at the side of me makes a comment or something then I err do reply or acknowledge. In the choir we are up in the organ loft and no one sees. I am not the first to initiate anything. When Serving we do grin at each other at any funny going off. Am sat next to the priest and another server. Not socialising per se but being social in the service. I simply don’t do devote or anything. it not me

Having a happy face is different than disturbing mass. I agree, a serious face doesn’t mean serious problems and a happy face doesn’t mean no problems and visa versa but since we don’t know what is always going on with the other person and they are there to pray we need to give them that respect as we may want or need it ourselves someday or many days.

But it is a bug bear of mine that people moan about the ones who are chatty before service etc and that it loud at times and that they want it quiet but they have absolutely no care for those of us who might need it to be noisy… We are forever being told of per se but not by this priest. The moaners have asked the priest to say something. This priest won’t do so. The moaners don’t realise they are part of the problem too. But nowadays being in the vestry people don’t see if am one of the chatty ones and like I say, the priest dont seem to have a problem with it because he has corrected me when needed