Apprehensive Conversion

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michael_pommier

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I has posted on this form a few years ago about my wife asking questions about the Catholic faith. I was born and raised Catholic and she was not. From the time we started dating I had invited her to attend mass with me and made it very clear that she was under no pressure to convert.

A couple of months ago she brought the topic up and asked me to approach our priest to inquire about RCIA classes since we hadn’t heard an announcement about them. We are now going through the RCIA classes and working toward her joining in the sacraments.

I understand that everyone probably goes through the process differently, but my wife seems to be very timid about it. She doesn’t really want people to know that she is doing it. I feel like she is going through it because of me and that’s the LAST thing I want her to do. Sensing some apprehension, I’ve told her a couple of time that if she doesn’t want to go through with it, she doesn’t have to.

Am I over reacting and looking too much into it or should I approach her about? One one hand I want to make sure she is doing it for herself and not for me, but on the other hand I don’t want her to think I’m trying to talk her out of it by asking if she’s sure she wants to go through with it.

Anyone have any advice?
 
She knows you are not pressuring her. So, leave her be. Stop actively trying to dissuade her.

Just let her figure it out on her own.
 
Everyone’s different. Some people have reasons for keeping their conversion “under wraps” with friends or work acquaintances. That doesn’t make the conversion any less real. You’ve gone out of your way to reassure her that she doesn’t need to feel coerced. Now work on building your family devotional life, secure in the joy of having a Christian family not divided by sectarianism.
 
1ke said:
She knows you are not pressuring her. So, leave her be. Stop actively trying to dissuade her.

Just let her figure it out on her own.
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This. Just carry on, and talk about what you learn.

Lou
 
1ke said:
She knows you are not pressuring her. So, leave her be. Stop actively trying to dissuade her.

Just let her figure it out on her own.
Click to expand...
I’ll second this.

I came into the Church last year, and didn’t tell most of my family until it was fait accompli. Just didn’t want to deal with the fallout or questions, and I enjoyed having the privacy of doing something that was mine.

Be quietly supportive and she will appreciate that support.
 
michael_pommier said:
I has posted on this form a few years ago about my wife asking questions about the Catholic faith. I was born and raised Catholic and she was not. From the time we started dating I had invited her to attend mass with me and made it very clear that she was under no pressure to convert.

A couple of months ago she brought the topic up and asked me to approach our priest to inquire about RCIA classes since we hadn’t heard an announcement about them. We are now going through the RCIA classes and working toward her joining in the sacraments.

I understand that everyone probably goes through the process differently, but my wife seems to be very timid about it. She doesn’t really want people to know that she is doing it. I feel like she is going through it because of me and that’s the LAST thing I want her to do. Sensing some apprehension, I’ve told her a couple of time that if she doesn’t want to go through with it, she doesn’t have to.

Am I over reacting and looking too much into it or should I approach her about? One one hand I want to make sure she is doing it for herself and not for me, but on the other hand I don’t want her to think I’m trying to talk her out of it by asking if she’s sure she wants to go through with it.

Anyone have any advice?
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Let her absorb RCIA at her own rate and be there to answer questions and carry on the discussion after class. My husband didn’t tell many people about his conversion, at first, either; he needed time to get used to the idea he would be a Catholic for the rest of his life; it was a big deal to him. It’s getting closer to the Easter Vigil now and a lot of people are getting nervous about their 1st confession.
 
My wife and I are both converts. I went through RCIA by myself. Towards the end my wife became interested and open to converting. Both of us told very few people prior to our conversion. I figured in my world most people would think like I used to. They’d wonder, who converts to Catholicism? I didn’t want to deal with that until I actually was a convert.

Regarding my wife, because I was the one first led to conversion I was worried she might be converting because I was. I checked with her a few times to make sure she was converting because she believed the truth of the Faith. Each time she told me she was motivated by herself being convinced. She also told me she found it a little annoying that I’d ask, and she reminded me of how stubborn she was.

So my advice would be, if you voiced your concern, and were told it is not a concern, accept what you were told as true. But I do understand your situation and very much empathize.
 
exnihilo said:
My wife and I are both converts. I went through RCIA by myself. Towards the end my wife became interested and open to converting. Both of us told very few people prior to our conversion. I figured in my world most people would think like I used to. They’d wonder, who converts to Catholicism? I didn’t want to deal with that until I actually was a convert.
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So much this. I’m a young professional woman, and saying I was joining the Catholic church was treated by some like I was saying I was renouncing my right to equal pay or voting. They didn’t understand the beauty of this faith or how I could be drawn to it, and they only knew their prejudices, stereotypes, and misconceptions.

It was nice to get to lay all that aside and just concentrate on my journey.
 
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