Appropriate or not?

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sherilo

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Hello all,

I just started attending Mass, and am very serious about it all. I am trying to be very careful about my status as a “newbie,” but I am wondering about something. When I go into Mass, after genuflecting toward the tabernacle, I kneel down to pray and try to prepare myself for Mass. Other people who are not praying sit there and visit with each other while people are kneeling and praying. I find this very distracting and irreverant. I know that the irreverant part is not my business, but I did not realize that it was OK to visit while people were praying. Set me straight if I am being too picky.

Sherilo
 
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sherilo:
Hello all,

I just started attending Mass, and am very serious about it all. I am trying to be very careful about my status as a “newbie,” but I am wondering about something. When I go into Mass, after genuflecting toward the tabernacle, I kneel down to pray and try to prepare myself for Mass. Other people who are not praying sit there and visit with each other while people are kneeling and praying. I find this very distracting and irreverant. I know that the irreverant part is not my business, but I did not realize that it was OK to visit while people were praying. Set me straight if I am being too picky.

Sherilo
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Hi Sherilo, Welcome 'Newbie". Your posts a littel vague. If you mean people talking before Mass to eachother I think you’re being a littel picky. If you’re talking about people talking over or around you, I can see how that’s annoying. Many times when I talk to people at church it’s usually about “church things”.
 
You are not being picky, but it is a problem throughout the US.

The only way, other then giving nasty stares 😉 or a nicely phrased, “excuse me but I am trying to pray” comment, is to talk it over with the priest/pastor.

Try to get him to address the issue in a homily. He will also let you know if you may be a little scrupulous. Don’t forget that a little talking is sometimes needed. Examples include, parents trying to deal with kids, people trying to set up for next Mass, occasional Hi how’s it going, or see you later comments. People with long conversations should be taking it outside or to the parish hall. Nobody should be loud in church, except for while singing or praying out loud.
 
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sherilo:
. Set me straight if I am being too picky.

Sherilo
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Nope, you’re not being picky at all. One of the things that attracted me to liturgical worship (well before I discoved the truth and majesty of Catholicism) was the atmosphere of holy silence that pervaded before and usually after the service. In some places, it still exists, but I’m afraid it’s becoming more and more rare. Our pastor has successfully tamped down on talking before Mass, but hasn’t obliterated it. I always hope to be charitible, but sometimes I wish he would stand at the back and announce, “I will begin the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass when the faithful have indicated that they are ready for it to begin. The faithful can demonstrate that readiness by participating in 5 minutes of complete silence.”
 
It’s not ok. I will usually put my finger to my lips and say shuh! They get the message. Many parishes have a gathering space to visiting before Mass.
 
Is the tabernacle in the Church? It certainly doesn’t show their awareness of Our Lord either way. Let’s face it, there’s a general lack of, I’d have to put it this way, belief in the Real Presence. It’s also quite rude to be chatting away when people are trying to pray which you would think would be a popular thing to do in a church. :mad:
 
A friend of mine simply puts his hands over his ears and the noisy folks catch the hint.
 
Br. Rich SFO:
It’s not ok. I will usually put my finger to my lips and say shuh! They get the message. Many parishes have a gathering space to visiting before Mass.
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I do the same thing. It is distracting and irreverent.
 
When people are in church, they are suppose to be quiet.
 
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sherilo:
Hello all,

I just started attending Mass, and am very serious about it all. I am trying to be very careful about my status as a “newbie,” but I am wondering about something. When I go into Mass, after genuflecting toward the tabernacle, I kneel down to pray and try to prepare myself for Mass. Other people who are not praying sit there and visit with each other while people are kneeling and praying. I find this very distracting and irreverant. I know that the irreverant part is not my business, but I did not realize that it was OK to visit while people were praying. Set me straight if I am being too picky.

Sherilo
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To be blunt it’s not ok for them to chat other people, it happens in my church a lot, so I spoke to the priest about it, he agreed.
It is distracting to say the least for others trying to pray, remember we are in the presence of Jesus in the Tabernacle.
I remember when the Church was a place of reverence,with only the wisper of prayer, anyway hope you get off on the right foot, and God Bless.
 
I am far from being a "nitpicker: but when the Blessed Sacrament is in the tabernacle and the red vigil light is burning it is certainly not appropriate to be carrying on conversations there either before, during, or after mass. Even lacking the Blessed Sacrament being present in the main church, it is very appropriate that people be silent and gather themselves for the mass that is about to commence. The lack of respect for others during this time before, during, and after Mass is annoying and impolite.
 
I agree entirely with the sentiments about silence in church and quiet prayer in preparation for Mass, and genuflecting to Jesus in the tabernacle. But what you have to realize is that many of us for years have been in parishes or dioceses where we have been encouraged, nay, ordered, to be “friendly” and “welcoming” in church, which has resulted in a decibel level comparable to a basketball arena. If you try to bow your head in prayer after communion people will be slapping you on the back to say “hi” as they return to their pews.

We also have gotten used to playing hide and seek in our churches trying to locate the tabernacle, which sometimes is not even on the same street as the church. It is pointless to genuflect in a church where the blessed sacrament is not reserved, so we have gotten out of the habit. to some of us a red sancuary light is way retro.
 
One of my favorite priests once told me that when this happens, ask your guardian angel to go over there and give them a tap on the shoulder. 🙂
 
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