Are Cold Sores an Impediment to Marriage?

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lonepalmtree

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I have gotten cold sores since I was a child. I think from my grandmother. I get outbreaks a couple (2-4) times a year and I feel like I have an affliction from God. I pray for my body to be healed, as I know it is possible. There are people who are infected and never have an outbreak. But I am still struggling with this affliction, 27 years later. I have prescriptions but they only help to a small degree.

I fear dating and finding a husband because of it, even though I know my vocation is to be a wife. I ask for your advice and for your prayers. Thank you and may God be with you.
 
Cold sores are not an impediment to a valid marriage. I am sorry this is causing you sorrow and pain. You will be in my prayers, both that you find a loving spouse and that the cold sores stop causing such inner turmoil.
 
A large proportion of the population has cold sores. I am sorry to hear you have so many outbreaks, and I hope a doctor can give you relief.
 
I have cold sores and have been married for more than 30 years. It took awhile, but my dermatologist was able to find the right medication to control them. I might get one a year, if that. Keep working with your doctor on it - the solution is out there.
 
lonepalmtree said:
I fear dating and finding a husband because of it, even though I know my vocation is to be a wife.
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If you have this sort of fear about cold sores, please get some counseling.

What makes you think cold sores are an actual impediment to valid marriage?
 
lonepalmtree said:
I fear dating and finding a husband because of it, even though I know my vocation is to be a wife.
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Because of cold sores?!? I think this is a bigger deal in your mind than it is to anyone around you. Most people get cold sores. My brother gets them and they cover his whole chin. Who cares? He has a beautiful girlfriend! If someone doesn’t like you because of something simple as a cold sore you are dodging a bullet by not marrying them anyway. You deserve someone who likes you and doesn’t care about cold sores. If they make a big deal out of cold sores, what are they going to do when they find out you poop?!?

Seriously, don’t sweat it. It’s cold sores. You will find a guy who is crazy enough about you to not care.
 
While I know this can make you feel bad because cold sores can be unsightly, they are not a big deal. My mother had a cold sore maybe once a year and it did not get in the way of her making a good long marriage. In fact, it’s pretty likely that some or maybe even most of the men you date will also be infected.

Please keep working with your doctor on this and don’t let it get in your way.
 
Thank you! I am feeling so much hope after reading these responses and doing a lot of praying on the matter.
 
Mostly from the fear of being seen as “dirty” and diseased. I understand it is deep-rooted as some of this comes from being made fun of as a child, and I relive it as an adult at times. I plan on receiving counseling as well as spiritual counseling on the matter since it has developed into a large mental block/anxiety with dating.
 
Cold sores can be an impediment to eating hot salsa. They have no bearing on marriage. Where did you get the idea they do?
 
Mostly from the fear of being seen as “dirty” and diseased. I understand it is deep-rooted as some of this comes from being made fun of as a child, and I relive it as an adult.

I feel like it’s an affliction, and even though I live a chaste single life I have this marker that signifies a transmittable disease… on my face! It weighs heavy on my mind, especially when dating.
 
Follow instructions for use of the medication strictly. I believe the usual advice is to apply at the first hint of a tingle.
 
lonepalmtree said:
I feel like it’s an affliction, and even though I live a chaste single life I have this marker that signifies a transmittable disease
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I get them too. They are not of the same kind of herpes as genital herpes either. Honestly if I was dating a girl who got them I wouldn’t even care. If someone did it would be like that guy in Shallow Hal that didn’t like that girl because one of her toes was longer than her big toe. Lol
 
My husband gets cold sores periodically. I can’t remember if he disclosed it to me before our marriage, but it didn’t matter anyway. He is very careful not to kiss me when he has a cold sore (and he rarely gets them anyway). I have never had an issue with it.

From what I understand, by adulthood most of the population has at least one strain of HSV1. It’s just that only a small proportion get actual lesions. My mother has the virus and has periodic outbreaks. I have never had any, but I’d be shocked if I don’t carry the virus.
 
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