Are those all yours? Are you done?

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Panis_Angelicas

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Isn’t it a tad annoying when you take your family out in public and total strangers begin imposing their morality upon you?

I tend now (as I get a bit older) to look at this very humorously.

Often I only have three or four of my twelve children with me, and I still get asked!
“Are those all yours?” “How many are you going to have?” “Are you done?” “When are you going to quit?”

So, how about it folks?

Let’s come up with some good answers for these nosey folks who actually, if asked, think that they’re the standard bearers for a woman’s right to privacy!

How does the conversation usually go when these questions are asked of you and your family?

Pax Christi. <><
 
I wish I could come up with a good come-back to those who say those things to you…but it always amazes me what people will say… :eek:
I was just thinking how nice it is you have a big family…I would have loved to have grown up with brothers and sisters.
 
Well, things that used to annoy me are really not quite so annoying these days, for whatever reasons!

Particularly when one is expecting, I think, she feels more vulnerable when people being “inquiring.”

My most used comeback to the question, “How many are you going to have?” was “As many as God sends us.”

And to “Are you going to quit?” I would respond, “Quit what?” (That really put them in the hot seat! 😉 hee hee!

Nowadays, people will ask, are these all yours, and I’ll just say “yes,” but invariably, one of children, oh so proud of our large family will happily interject how many of us there “really” are. I really enjoy that. Folks don’t know whether to believe this absurdity or not. They look to me to see if I’m going to correct the child or deny it, and I just smile happily. They can’t look into a five year old’s eyes and say, “gee, your mommy should’ve quit some time ago,” now can they? 😃
 
Panis~
Bless you and your wonderful family. I understand the annoyance because I get the same kind of intrusive questions but because I am 40+ and have no children. 😦 Not because I haven’t tried mind you. But it is so hurtful and rude when people ask me why I don’t have children. I do love them. But I am thankful to God for all his gifts to me.
 
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ridesawhitehors:
Panis~
Bless you and your wonderful family. I understand the annoyance because I get the same kind of intrusive questions but because I am 40+ and have no children. 😦 Not because I haven’t tried mind you. But it is so hurtful and rude when people ask me why I don’t have children. I do love them. But I am thankful to God for all his gifts to me.
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I don’t think people in general …think about what they are saying…I mean certainly it isn’t any of their business… but I guess they are curious at your expense( I might add. )
 
We are expecting our 7th, and the questions that most annoy me are: “Don’t you have a T.V.?” and “Are they all from the same guy?” To which I answer: “Yes, but we’re not sure who the mother is!” But all in all the comments don’t bug me because I realize that people just don’t understand.

It does sadden me however how many Catholics ask me “Are you done?” etc. I know that they know the Church’s teaching on contraception, yet they continue to contracept and it breaks my heart. They say things like: “If I made more money, I’d have more kids.” or “If I could be sure it would be a boy/girl I’d have another.” or “I’m sure God understands.” Excuses, nothing more. Catholics should know better!

“To those are given more, more will be expected.”

Once you know the truth, there can be no more excuses.
 
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ridesawhitehors:
Panis~
Bless you and your wonderful family. I understand the annoyance because I get the same kind of intrusive questions but because I am 40+ and have no children. 😦 Not because I haven’t tried mind you. But it is so hurtful and rude when people ask me why I don’t have children. I do love them. But I am thankful to God for all his gifts to me.
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Oh, yes…I got carried away and forgot to complete that thought. That kind of person is just as nosey about those who have no children. And could they possibly imagine the pain they cause when they inquire?
My sister suffered infertility problems, and lost both fallopian tubes due to ectopic pregnancies. Then further problems necessitated a hysterectomy.
Some people, in their earnest ignorance have suggested that I donate eggs for my brother in law to fertilize, reducing the divine plan of procreation to a humanistic “demand and supply” mentality.
It’s not about living out God’s Will, but achieving our own wills that seems to matter to them.
And limiting the size of my family, and increasing someone else’s is how they would handle it, **if they were God. 😉 **

How depraved our culture has become. I might sound angry, but I’m not at all. I just pity these folks. I wish they had more to keep their minds active!
 
Some people, in their earnest ignorance have suggested that I donate eggs for my brother in law to fertilize, reducing the divine plan of procreation to a humanistic “demand and supply” mentality.
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I wonder if these people ever think about how weird that would be. You being the biological mother of your sister’s babies??? If surrogate mothers were any option, I wouldn’t have anyone in my family be it…it’s too strange.
 
Common conversations I have with people - and my answers

Are all of these yours? Yes

You’re done aren’t you? - No - we plan to have as many as possible.(I’m going for the shock factor there 😉 )

You must be very busy. Yes

Are they all planned? They were all planned by God.

Are you or your husband going to “fix” the problem? What problem? Fix what? What is broken? We think everything is working just fine thank you!

Aren’t you practicing birth control? The birth of each child was controlled quite nicely by God!

Haven’t you figured out yet how this all happened? Yes! That’s why we keep doing it!

How can you manage with 6 children? Which one would you have me give back?
 
Q: Are they all yours?

A: No, I’m just renting them out for the day. You should try it sometime.

A: Yeah, but you can have a couple if you want. I’ve got more at home.

A: Who, them? Oh gosh, no! They’ve just been following me around ever since I gave out $20 bills for Halloween.

On second thought, you’d better scratch those. Someone might take you seriously.
 
I wonder if people would have the same attitude if you said the children were adopted.

Just tell them you are in a time warp and are stuck in the 50’s.
 
Congratulations on your “Wonderful” Family. Panis!! AWESOME!!
I don’t have any suggestions on what to say to rude people, but the suggestions of other’s on this thread are hilarious!! Would love to see you try those…they sound perfect!! :rotfl: A friend of mine has 9 children.

:blessyou:
Annie
 
I am always appalled when I hear stories like this. What kind of person makes a comment to a complete stranger about the size of their family?? Raised by wolves I tell ya…In college I knew a guy who was the oldest of nine. His parents took him and all his siblings on a day trip to a state park. A woman saw the whole crew and said to the father “don’t you know what causes that?” The dad said “Yes, and I’m going to keep doing it!”
 
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Lorarose:
Common conversations I have with people - and my answers

Are all of these yours? Yes

You’re done aren’t you? - No - we plan to have as many as possible.(I’m going for the shock factor there 😉 )

You must be very busy. Yes

Are they all planned? They were all planned by God.

Are you or your husband going to “fix” the problem? What problem? Fix what? What is broken? We think everything is working just fine thank you!

Aren’t you practicing birth control? The birth of each child was controlled quite nicely by God!

Haven’t you figured out yet how this all happened? Yes! That’s why we keep doing it!

How can you manage with 6 children? Which one would you have me give back?
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I love all your answers, my husband & i were not able to have children but i know lots of large families including a young couple who are 20 & 21 & are expecting their 3rd, their oldest just tuned 2 & the younger one will be 1 in september—their baby is due in november----when i was visiting them in march–she looked sick & i asked her if she was pregnant , her answer was yes but nobody knows—I said well i know & she said yes you are open to life–i asked her when she was due & her husband replied we haven’t been to the doctor yet & the wife replied “i know exactly when i got pregnant–we use the serena method”–i laughed & she said “you think we failed” & i said “yes”–she said “we knew exactly what we were doing”—my answer was “that’s great, i am so proud of you”
 
I think people need to be educated about what constitutes a personal question. Rather than give a cute answer, wouldn’t it be nice if there were a kind answer that really meant “butt out”? For example: “Family size is between me and my husband.” or “That’s a personal question.” or “Do you realize you’re asking a question related to what we do in our bedroom? Did you mean to do that?” —KCT
 
another good one is “if you’ll forgive me for not answering that question I’ll forgive you for asking it”
 
What is most difficult for me is the reaction of family members. We have four children on earth, one lost to miscarriage and I feel God calling us to have another child. My mother-in-law constantly says I’m too old (I’m 37), that women were meant to have babies in their twenties, and that I have enough on my plate. Keep in mind that she herself had five children. However, she revealed something about her faith (or lack of) when she said she never intended to have five kids. I replied that obviously God did and she handled it wonderfully.

She is somewhat dumbstruck by my husband’s and my openness to life and our acceptance of God’s will. When I had the miscarriage, my MIL said (I’m not kidding here) “well, at least you didn’t have to give birth to a dead baby.” How do you respond to that? I was devastated and told her that what came out of me WAS a baby, with hands and feet and a heart. She had no idea how to respond. I think she thinks I take my catholic faith too seriously. She is absolutely shocked that we practice NFP and continues to claim that the reason she has five kids is because of the “rhythym method.” Of course, I explain the difference between the old and new methods, but she brushes it off with “well, these rules are just made up by a bunch of men anyway.” UGH. And she’s a cradle catholic.

Sorry about the venting. I can handle strangers making judgments. It’s much harder when it’s closer to home.
 
I have some clever replies in mind but if I posted them I would have to go to confession

My wife and I are newlyweds. I think I want to have a large family just to annoy those snobby people that make such remarks or even think them

Na Na Na Na Na - I am populating the earth with future prolife right-wing Catholics and since you are contracepting/aborting your children soon we will win the culture war
 
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pittsburghjeff:
Na Na Na Na Na - I am populating the earth with future prolife right-wing Catholics and since you are contracepting/aborting your children soon we will win the culture war
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That’s the spirit, Jeff!
 
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