Are We Allowed To Get Away From My Dad

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AllyPaige

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So the story goes…

I am 15. My dad left us, (my mom and two brothers), when I was 6. He moved away and we saw him sometimes. My mom worked full time, taking us with her to work everyday trying to keep afloat. We barley made enough, m y mom had to sign up for a food bank. My dad supported us in no way.

Eventually, after 7 years, my dad couldn’t afford to pay his rent anymore. So he made up a story about loving us and came back to live with us. He was never home and when he was he would very often get mad about something and leave.

He came back to the Catholic Church when I was around 14 and I started to see a big difference in him. It was like all of my prayers had been answered. He was kinder to my mom, nice to my oldest brother (who usually experienced most of dads anger).

Then it started not being so great again. He was never home. He sat all day in an office wasting time and making no money. He had over 10 women he was being unfaithful to my mom with.

This year, my dad had a stroke. He was scheduled to have surgery and after the surgery was finished, he had a stroke. He was still messaging those women the day of the surgery. Telling him he wouldn’t see them for a little while.

My dad is now out of the hospital and living at home. He spends most of his days in bed.

He tells me he is a new man now. I am so afraid to believe him. I’m afraid to be hurt again. He says he loves me. That he loves our family. But I don’t think he knows what love is. I think he needs me. He needs our family. That without us he would have to face himself. His sins. We represent safety and security for him.

I read to him and play music for him sometimes. I have forgiven him. I hold none of his sins against him. I thank God for showing me how to do these things. 🙂

My mom wants to divorce him. My siblings and I want to divorce him. But one of the main things I am afraid of is in divorcing him, are we going against what God tells us to do? To forgive? What about the prodigal son? His Father forgave everything he did and invited him back in his home like nothing happened. Is that what my family is supposed to do too? Just invite him back completely into the family like he has never done anything wrong? Are we allowed to set ourselves free?
 
God bless you. The way your father has behaved makes it natural to be wary of him and afraid of being disappointment and being hurt again.

I think this is something to discuss with your pastor or a school counselor for ongoing help.
 
It seems to me that this is really your mother’s decision. I think you just have to try to love and honor your dad and your mom the best you can.
But what is love? Love is willing the good of the other. Do what you can to help him be a good person. Don’t make it harder for him.
It sounds like you are a good kid trying to do the best you can. Ask for God’s help and try to help your parents.
Sometimes there are financial considerations involved in divorce. This is really your Mom and Dad’s business. I hope you don’t get roped into helping to decide.
 
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