Are we obligated to accept charitable gifts?

[BIB_MT]

The whole situation is a big mess, but I want to see if I committed a sin.

My husband made a comment to a couple of people in the family that we would be unable to attend a family event because he needed to do extra work on a Saturday because money is tight right now.

Somehow the comments were blown out of proportion. Those two people who heard the comment, with good intentions, went out of their way to purchase groceries for us.

We were caught by surprise when they showed up to our door the with a significant amount of food. I had just gone shopping a couple days prior and already had groceries.

A big problem was one of the people giving us food has a larger family than we do and has been on government assistance for many years. Last they had told us, they were still on assistance. We weren’t sure if they had used government funds to purchase the groceries or not.

We later found out they did not, but after we received the groceries it seemed like the people were in a more dire situation than we were based on our past knowledge of them. So, we returned the items to the family so they could be put to better use.

The other people who were willing to help are elderly and on a limited income.

There are some other facets of this, but was it wrong for us to not accept the gift? We were accused of being prideful and refusing God’s charity. We were told it’s absolutely wrong not to accept a gift from someone.

I feel if their intention was to make sure we had enough food, they should have been excited and happy to know we were doing okay and didn’t need the help. Instead, they were upset and confused, which makes me wonder if they wanted more recognition than to actually help.

I wish we had handled the situation a little better. We didn’t want to be greedy or take more than we needed. Their gesture was appreciated, but we thought it was extravagant knowing our over all financial situation.

Did we sin by refusing a gift? What should I do in the future?

 

[pensmama87]

I don’t know about sin, but I would have accepted the gift and then donated what you could have (or used the money that you would have spent on similar items for something charitable.) I think it was a very kind gesture by these folks, and I don’t think it’s wise to speculate that perhaps their motives weren’t entirely altruistic. (Perhaps they would say you refused the gift because you didn’t want to seem like you needed help from the likes of them?)

Gift giving can be a bit of a touchy etiquette situation, but my go-to is to graciously accept what I’ve been given, even if I don’t want it, and then do with it as I please. Refusal to accept is typically considered rude.

I would try to smooth it over with these people if you can. Saying less is more is a good strategy, too - you don’t have to offer explanations when you decline an invitation. “Sorry, we won’t be able to make it,” should suffice.

 

[phil19034]

I would have accepted their gift and invited them over for dinner or donated the money saved due to their generosity to the Church to the poor.

 

[Catholic1954]

No sin here. It was a misunderstanding and you handled it the best you could. In the future, graciously accept the gift and donate it where it would do the most good, then make it clear that your finances are back on track, so you don’t get more.

 

[Allegra]

I don’t know about “sin”, but it was not particularly well-mannered. I suspect they felt you were unkind, even if that wasn’t your intention. Next time, accept the groceries and pay it forward. When someone who has had financial difficulty finally gets into a situation where they can help others, it’s a tremendous blessing for them. Your reaction probably hurt their feelings.

 

[ClearWater]

No sin committed. You were trying to be helpful.

 

[Irishmom2]

I don’t know about “sin”, but it was not particularly well-mannered. I suspect they felt you were unkind, even if that wasn’t your intention. Next time, accept the groceries and pay it forward. When someone who has had financial difficulty finally gets into a situation where they can help others, it’s a tremendous blessing for them. Your reaction probably hurt their feelings.

This. Perhaps they were glad to be in a situation where they were actually doing the giving instead of receiving. Instead of feeling happy to gave helped someone, you “rained on their parade.”

If it were me, I would write them a thank you note, and offer an apology again, saying that you were overwhelmed by their gesture of kindness and were unable to express yourself correctly at the time.