Are we validly married?

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EvaDoc

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I have never had sex with my husband since we got married.

We had pre-marital sex before I became Catholic. We dated for ~5 years, then eloped and had a civil marriage. I could not have any sex leading up to and after that marriage (by now, I know why-- it is a physiological problem that developed and worsened over the years).

We were civilly married for ~7 years until I wanted to become Catholic, went thru RCIA, and was confirmed. Before confirmation, we got married in the Catholic church.

Long story short, I have had no sex since before my civil marriage because it became so painful I couldn’t do it anymore.

It has been 10 years since our wedding in the Church, and we both have become devoted in our faith to the Church and her teachings. We are very active in ministry. No children, obviously.

However, our personality conflicts have remained so polarizing that I’ve reached a point where I’m not sure if we ever really had a “marriage”, so to speak. I’m seriously thinking about divorce/annulment, but was our marriage ever valid in the first place?
 
It sounds to me like its a valid marriage. Are you asking because you wern’t confirmed yet or because of your polarizing personalities? If you took vows from a validly ordained priest in a church I would have to call it valid. Just my HO.
 
EvaDoc said:
I have never had sex with my husband since we got married.

We had pre-marital sex before I became Catholic. We dated for ~5 years, then eloped and had a civil marriage. I could not have any sex leading up to and after that marriage (by now, I know why-- it is a physiological problem that developed and worsened over the years).

We were civilly married for ~7 years until I wanted to become Catholic, went thru RCIA, and was confirmed. Before confirmation, we got married in the Catholic church.

Long story short, I have had no sex since before my civil marriage because it became so painful I couldn’t do it anymore.

It has been 10 years since our wedding in the Church, and we both have become devoted in our faith to the Church and her teachings. We are very active in ministry. No children, obviously.

However, our personality conflicts have remained so polarizing that I’ve reached a point where I’m not sure if we ever really had a “marriage”, so to speak. I’m seriously thinking about divorce/annulment, but was our marriage ever valid in the first place?
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Your marriage is valid in a sense, but not fully, since it hasn’t been consummated. It don’t think it can be annulled, but it can be dissolved by the Pope.
 
You were married in the Church, therefore your marriage is presumed valid. Since the marriage is not consummated, the possibility remains that it could be dissolved. However, that is not a straightforward process, especially since you’ve been living together, nor (IMHO) should you be looking at that at this point. So, at this point, follow this advice:
1ke said:
Go talk to your priest. Seek marriage counseling.
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