Are You Catholic and Divorced? Share Your Experience with the New York Times

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That is an interesting article idea. Unfortunately, my experience with the annulment process soured me so much against the Church I almost left. So I am not the right candidate.

I felt of all the sins in the world divorce and remarriage without an annulment being reason to be banned from Holy Communion made divorce and remarriage the “worst of all sins” which seemed wrong to me.

That was years ago though…I think many leave the Church rather than get an annulment from some stats I read years ago. That may have changed though.

Mary.
 
MaryT777 said:
That is an interesting article idea. Unfortunately, my experience with the annulment process soured me so much against the Church I almost left. So I am not the right candidate.

I felt of all the sins in the world divorce and remarriage without an annulment being reason to be banned from Holy Communion made divorce and remarriage the “worst of all sins” which seemed wrong to me.

That was years ago though…I think many leave the Church rather than get an annulment from some stats I read years ago. That may have changed though.

Mary.
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This is the NYT trying to influence the Bishop at their meeting by shaming the Church. I’ll trust the Holy Spirit not the NYT. There have been statements made by US Bishops directly to this point. I can think of another name for the NYT meddling, and it has nothing to do with the work of God.
 
Let me see if I understand this correctly. They post a survey specifically designed for divorced Catholics. They then ask in the survey whether said divorced Catholics support the Church’s teachings on divorce.

Tell me I’m not the only one that sees the glaring problem with that.
 
The fact is divorce is something that is happening… A LOT even among Catholics. I think its fair to ask the questions and if people want to dialogue with NYT about it, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I don’t think NYT will have an effect on how the Church decides to deal with divorced Catholics moving forward but why are we so hostile to the topic being discussed and written about?
 
Miss_Felicity said:
The fact is divorce is something that is happening… A LOT even among Catholics. I think its fair to ask the questions and if people want to dialogue with NYT about it, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I don’t think NYT will have an effect on how the Church decides to deal with divorced Catholics moving forward but why are we so hostile to the topic being discussed and written about?
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Yes. To pretend there are no Catholic divorces is not helping the situation that many divorced people are frustrated with the length of time, cost etc in obtaining an annullment and the “fallibility of it all” There is no guarantee the decision is correct and is based on witnesses who can and do lie. The second tribunal can disagree with the first and it’s a long frustrating process.

Many are leaving the Church that are divorced because of such issues.

There has got to be some better way to address the issue of divorce before remarriage
and determine the validity of a marriage.

Mary.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
Let me see if I understand this correctly. They post a survey specifically designed for divorced Catholics. They then ask in the survey whether said divorced Catholics support the Church’s teachings on divorce.

Tell me I’m not the only one that sees the glaring problem with that.
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I may be too optimistic, but I want to believe that the New York Times was trying to solicit a range of views, and they were trying to hear from voices of ordinary people (and not from the usual “experts.”)

The NYT has a reputation for unfavorable reporting about the Church. So I understand the skepticism when they open the door for people to criticize Church teaching and procedure.
 
My parents were married 32 and had 5 children. They tried for 5 year to save their marriage, going to counselors, groups, and priests before they divorced. Neither one would get an annulment and say there marriage was never valid. My mother went on to live her life alone, but my father went on to remarry outside the Church. He went to Church everyday and received communion, while my mother stopped going to Church all together.

This is also an issue that I have thought I may need to find another Church. People are human and they do their best to make things work, but sometime it just won’t work. People change over time due to children, stress, jobs, illness, etc. I would never say my marriage was invalid from the beginning. Every experience we have makes us who we are. This is an issue that needs to be addressed by the Church or they are going to loose more people everyday. It will not increase the amount of divorces but it might decrease that amount of people that leave the Church.
 
shelby_sun said:
My parents were married 32 and had 5 children. They tried for 5 year to save their marriage, going to counselors, groups, and priests before they divorced. Neither one would get an annulment and say there marriage was never valid. My mother went on to live her life alone, but my father went on to remarry outside the Church. He went to Church everyday and received communion, while my mother stopped going to Church all together.

This is also an issue that I have thought I may need to find another Church. People are human and they do their best to make things work, but sometime it just won’t work. People change over time due to children, stress, jobs, illness, etc. I would never say my marriage was invalid from the beginning. Every experience we have makes us who we are. This is an issue that needs to be addressed by the Church or they are going to loose more people everyday. It will not increase the amount of divorces but it might decrease that amount of people that leave the Church.
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Well said.
Mary.
 
Well, the issue is certainly something that the upcoming synod will address. It is a troubling issue for many reasons. The number of declarations of nullity in the U.S., for example has exploded from some like less than a hundred forty years ago to the hundreds of thousands today.

Are there that many null marriages? Maybe there are. Are Catholics no longer capable of making lifelong commitments in marriage? Maybe so.

But the Church can’t change the words of Jesus to suit the times. So the options don’t include a doctrinal change. But there can surely be pastoral changes.

I’m not sure why the issue of communion is so important to this particular issue. A great many Catholics are not allowed to receive communion at any given Mass, including those conscious of grave sin, such as missing Mass on purpose, sexual sin, or any number of thngs. I suspect there are probably people approaching for communion who should not be. But that’s not a punishment, it’s just a protection for their soul.

I noticed that CWR had an article on the matter here.
 
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