Are you pregnant yet?

[Lorelei12]

I was married a little less than a year ago, and my husband and I have some financial and health issues we are dealing with. I would love to have a baby now, and am eager for us to become parents. Because we have some issues our family members and friends are unaware of, I have been having a hard time dealing with being asked whether I am pregnant yet. It happens at just about every gathering- not from everyone, of course, but enough that it’s wearing on me. Usually I just smile and say “no, I’m not”.

My husband isn’t bothered by it, says it’s normal for people to ask newlyweds, but I am a little less forgiving and really just wish people would mind their own business and wait for us to announce it, if God willing the time comes. These people have no knowledge of our reasons for avoiding right now, and I don’t plan on enlightening them. How do I politely defer these questions yet convey that I’d prefer not to be asked?

Thanks in advance!

 

[mellowcalico]

I had the same issue. It took me years to get pregnant and it wasn’t for lack of trying. All the while people kept badgering me about it.

After a few years of no children, they just stopped asking. But I attempted to answer their questions… sometimes with a question depending on my mood. Other than “no” my answers included, “why do you ask?” and “I am trying, please stop bugging me about it” and (if I was being mischievous and wanted to tease the person asking) “What? are you saying I look fat? Am I fat?”

It is a natural question for people to ask, but it can be a stressful or painful question to keep asking people. I think people who don’t have an issue conceiving really have a hard time understanding that not everyone is so blessed. I am happy I have a child now–of course, sometimes I get asked why I only have one. So it never seems to end.

Good luck.

 

[Aggies08]

…and when you do, it’ll be too fast, or too early, or you haven’t had time to develop as a “married couple.”

Find a good cliche’d response, use it, and change the subject. “When we are ready, you’ll be the first to know. Is your cat on fire back there?”

 

[Chiltepin]

I would tell them, “No, not yet, but when we are the good news will be disclosed purposefully and thoughtfully. I would prefer you didn’t ask, so that when we do get pregnant we an spread the news as we please, in a fun way.”