Are you supposed to love your spouse more than kids according to bible

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Ruby123

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I remember asking this question to my mother .She told me, my father is the no 1 person in her life .Although she love us children unconditionally but no one can come between her and my father . It didn’t hurt me because i knew how much my parents loved me but they always put each other first and maybe secretly love each other more than us ( I know its true ) .
They set a very good example to us children about marriage and parenting . They are still married and very happy with each other ( 30 years ) .

My pastor told me ,the order of love should be
God
Husband
Kids

I am married now and i have a kid but i don’t think i love my husband more than my kids nor i think i love my kids more than my husband either.They both mean the world to me and i cannot imagine my life without them .

I am little bit confused here .
My question is :Do you love your spouse more than kids ? Or are you supposed to do that according to bible ?

What about the priorities ? How do you manage it ?
 
As a Christian, you are to love everyone equally, this includes your wife, husband, kids, your neighbor, and a stranger on the street to name a few. However, your spouse does have a higher priority over your kids. Having a higher priority doesn’t mean you love them more, it is just that they come first in decisions.

If a big decision is to be made in your home, how it affects your spouse should be first priority over how it may affect your kids.

Does that make sense?
 
Two flesh shall become one. Can’t say that about your kids.

I don’t have children so I can’t say how I would feel though.
 
Want healthy children? Love their mother/father! Want a healthy marriage? Love God!

Peace
 
  1. Love God.
  2. Love spouse.
  3. Love any children born out of that love (and any adopted children).
If you love God first, your love for your spouse will be perfect. If you love your spouse perfectly, your love for your children will also be perfect, and your children will be raised to know that they were born from love, that their parents remained in love, and that they are worthy of love and worthy of a loving spouse one day.

If you put first things first, all else will naturally follow. There is no competition or evaluating of magnitude that is necessary when we love rightly. 🙂
 
GangGreen said:
Two flesh shall become one. Can’t say that about your kids.

I don’t have children so I can’t say how I would feel though.
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OTOH, one can divorce one’s spouse but not one’s children. In Judaism, the blood bond between parent and child is found during the mourning period for the death of a parent which is not the same period of time or nature for the death of a husband or wife.
 
Ruby123 said:
I am little bit confused here .
My question is :Do you love your spouse more than kids ? Or are you supposed to do that according to bible ?

What about the priorities ? How do you manage it ?
Click to expand...
Two different kinds of love - apples and oranges thing. But if I had to say, then yes, I love my spouse “more” (though I don’t think of it like that) because he is my equal whom I can rely on and trust. The person who made it possible for me to have these children, and who makes it possible to care for them. Without him, I’d be greatly diminished and my children would suffer greatly. I love my chidren “less” (though I would instead say “differently”) because of their uniqueness and joy, because of the blessing they are to me.

Priorities - when they are little, the kids come first. Period. That’s the way both my husband and I think so there was never a conflict between us regarding that.

As they grow (have grown), the priority gradually shifts to that of spouse first.

An example would be a child might have to miss a game because of something my husband and/or I chose to do. Not because of spur of the moment whims and not on a regular basis - but making every game in our family does not take priority over us being able to go on an anniversary outing or compete ourselves in a one-time event such as a 5k. Sure, we try to schedule things around all their activities but it doesn’t always work. Now, on the other hand, if one of them were sick, then obviously that would then take priority over our plans.

The main thing is having both parents be in agreement about what the priorities are and be aware that as time passes and/or circumstances change, that the priorities will need to be modified as well.
 
bzkoss236 said:
As a Christian, you are to love everyone equally, this includes your wife, husband, kids, your neighbor, and a stranger on the street to name a few. However, your spouse does have a higher priority over your kids. Having a higher priority doesn’t mean you love them more, it is just that they come first in decisions.

If a big decision is to be made in your home, how it affects your spouse should be first priority over how it may affect your kids.

Does that make sense?
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Maybe. Marriage is a partnership so spouses should make their major decisions as a united front. However when minor children are involved, sometimes their welfare should take precedence over the partnership. At least your spouse is an adult and in charge of his/her life; can’t say the same of a two-year-old.
 
I see this sort of like the emergency instructions on an airplane: Parents-please put on your oxygen first before helping your children. God’s rules are very logical. Love your spouse so you stay together, so your children see your example, so your descendants will thrive.
 
meltzerboy said:
OTOH, one can divorce one’s spouse but not one’s children. In Judaism, the blood bond between parent and child is found during the mourning period for the death of a parent which is not the same period of time or nature for the death of a husband or wife.
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There’s also the obligation to honour your parents, who gave you life just as God created mankind.
 
The type of love we have for our children, parents, and friends can be an unconditional love, or agape love. The love between a husband and wife can not be agape love because of sex. Just because they are different types of love does not mean spousal love can’t be as strong as agape love, but I don’t think it can ever be as “perfect”.
 
The order of my love
God
Husband
Kids
and its working great
 
hazcompat said:
Want healthy children? Love their mother/father! Want a healthy marriage? Love God!

Peace
Click to expand...
Bingo! This is the way it is. If you love God and follow him by default love is going to derive to everyone around you. Something else that people forget a lot is that when the parents are happy, the kids are happy. If you love and respect your spouse that makes the lids happy and they will live in a loving environment. Of course that doesn’t mean to neglect the kids, of course kids are a responsibility and both parents need to take care of the kids but many people tend to neglect their marriage after kids are born and that is not healthy.
 
Ruby123 said:
I remember asking this question to my mother .She told me, my father is the no 1 person in her life .Although she love us children unconditionally but no one can come between her and my father . It didn’t hurt me because i knew how much my parents loved me but they always put each other first and maybe secretly love each other more than us ( I know its true ) .
They set a very good example to us children about marriage and parenting . They are still married and very happy with each other ( 30 years ) .

My pastor told me ,the order of love should be
God
Husband
Kids

I am married now and i have a kid but i don’t think i love my husband more than my kids nor i think i love my kids more than my husband either.They both mean the world to me and i cannot imagine my life without them .

I am little bit confused here .
My question is :Do you love your spouse more than kids ? Or are you supposed to do that according to bible ?

What about the priorities ? How do you manage it ?
Click to expand...
I have not found the claims on my love to be in conflict. The claims on my time and attention, yes, but not the claims on my love. If you are doing your duty towards God, husband, and family and love them all to pieces, I would not worry one bit about this ranking thing. It is only a guideline to remind you that your love for your husband, at its best, flows from your love of God and your love of your children, at its best, flows from your love of God and your husband, just as a healthy love of self is totally rooted in love of God and neighbor. Stay aware of that, and you will promote the greatest amount of supernatural love for all.
 
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