Article On the Bad Welcome Some Catholic Converts Face From Other Catholics
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theoda
Guest
Quite sad. The people who treat him this way aren’t really Catholics.
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TheLeastofThese
Guest
This is quite sad! I don’t know about Catholic converts, but I know about being new in a parish.
I have come back to the Church after much time away and in the past three months of attending the same mass every week at the same church, I have yet to have anyone come up to me and greet me/welcome me, etc. I feel very alone. Especially since I do not have any family who join me at mass each week. I’m sure many will say that I should be the one to initiate the conversations since I am the one who notices the lack, but doesn’t that seem wrong, considering I am the “new” person? I mean really, how do you go up to someone and announce, “Hey, I’m new here, so please greet me and make me feel welcome.”
Anyway, I continue to return each week, because I need to be close to Jesus. It is disappointing and hurtful that no one notices me, but I know Jesus knows I’m there.
I have come back to the Church after much time away and in the past three months of attending the same mass every week at the same church, I have yet to have anyone come up to me and greet me/welcome me, etc. I feel very alone. Especially since I do not have any family who join me at mass each week. I’m sure many will say that I should be the one to initiate the conversations since I am the one who notices the lack, but doesn’t that seem wrong, considering I am the “new” person? I mean really, how do you go up to someone and announce, “Hey, I’m new here, so please greet me and make me feel welcome.”
Anyway, I continue to return each week, because I need to be close to Jesus. It is disappointing and hurtful that no one notices me, but I know Jesus knows I’m there.
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St_Francis
Guest
How I “broke into” my parish was I volunteered to help clean upThis is quite sad! I don’t know about Catholic converts, but I know about being new in a parish.
I have come back to the Church after much time away and in the past three months of attending the same mass every week at the same church, I have yet to have anyone come up to me and greet me/welcome me, etc. I feel very alone. Especially since I do not have any family who join me at mass each week. I’m sure many will say that I should be the one to initiate the conversations since I am the one who notices the lack, but doesn’t that seem wrong, considering I am the “new” person? I mean really, how do you go up to someone and announce, “Hey, I’m new here, so please greet me and make me feel welcome.”
Anyway, I continue to return each week, because I need to be close to Jesus. It is disappointing and hurtful that no one notices me, but I know Jesus knows I’m there.
Yu might also call and ask if there’s something the parish needs help with.And I do go up to people–esp if they are just standing there alone. And I also ask people things. I saw a lady with a veil the other day–i had forgotten mine but usually I wear one–so I asked her about hers, and we had a wonderful conversation! If you are new in town, you can ask people where things are (good shoe store, which restaurant is better, museums, etc), and people are usually vey nice about answering questions.
I think that sort of thing is harder for young people to do (if you are young). I try only to approach other women, but I am now middle-aged so seeming slightly nuts no longer bothers me the way it used to.
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1newcatholic
Guest
Sometimes I wish I had chosen a different name than 1newcatholic, because while it is true, it has provided many posters with an excuse to be demeaning and dismissive in the same way that Fr. Longenecker is complaining about.
People sometimes act like their life-long Catholicism and familiarity with Catholic customs justifies an attitude of insider superiority–because I am a “new” Catholic, people assume that I should defer to the opinion of ‘seasoned’ Catholics in the same way Fr. Longenecker mentions. Never mind the details, that I’m a life-long student of Christianity who studies religion at some of the best universities in the world–if my opinion diverges from what a cradle-Catholic has heard at her or his local parish for the last 20 years, the fault must be mine.
I like to learn new things, and can accept correction, but it is difficult to be treated contemptuously like an outsider, though I’m surprised that an ordained priest has to deal with the same treatment.
People sometimes act like their life-long Catholicism and familiarity with Catholic customs justifies an attitude of insider superiority–because I am a “new” Catholic, people assume that I should defer to the opinion of ‘seasoned’ Catholics in the same way Fr. Longenecker mentions. Never mind the details, that I’m a life-long student of Christianity who studies religion at some of the best universities in the world–if my opinion diverges from what a cradle-Catholic has heard at her or his local parish for the last 20 years, the fault must be mine.
I like to learn new things, and can accept correction, but it is difficult to be treated contemptuously like an outsider, though I’m surprised that an ordained priest has to deal with the same treatment.
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Sailor_Kenshin
Guest
Then what are they?
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Linusthe2nd
Guest
You will find those kind of people wherever you go sad to say. My Mother experienced it when she converted to Catholicism as a young woman. Just ignore it, these people are obviously very unhappy in their own skin. Remember, Christ said, " The first shall be last and the last shall be first " and " What is it to you that I pay these later workers the same as those who came early, is not my money? Why do you complain at my charity? " Cradle Catholics better watch their manners, for from those who came first much more is expected, especially more charity. So if any reading this have been guilty, better examine your conscience or you may be left out in the cold.
Pax
Linus2nd
Pax
Linus2nd
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northsprings
Guest
2465136]then what are they
they might be registered members of the parish but they have neither the catholic faith, nor the christian spirit. they confess with their tongues, but their hearts are devoid of love and charity
such as these may be found in any denomination…
but make no mistake about it : in a protestant church ( esp. those of the credobaptist/born -a gain variety), at least they will act like their gladdened by your presence…
its a fact that cthlcs go to church for.purpose of worship, while p’'tants co-emphasize hospitality and a welcoming atmosphere as being integral parts of the "worship experience "
they might be registered members of the parish but they have neither the catholic faith, nor the christian spirit. they confess with their tongues, but their hearts are devoid of love and charity
such as these may be found in any denomination…
but make no mistake about it : in a protestant church ( esp. those of the credobaptist/born -a gain variety), at least they will act like their gladdened by your presence…
its a fact that cthlcs go to church for.purpose of worship, while p’'tants co-emphasize hospitality and a welcoming atmosphere as being integral parts of the "worship experience "
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northsprings
Guest
OP, how old are you ? im speaking of “range” NOT exact age…reason is most dioceses have area-wide programs for YAM ( young adult ministry) , and for seniors.
i havent heard about too much for the middle-aged…but special focus groups exist for singles & divorced too…check into a larger, more populous parish…or call the diocese and ask to be emailed a list of para-church social and support ministries…
ive seen stuff that runs the spectrum from cthlc addicts, alcoholics etc to bikers, gardening enthusiasts and just about any other special interest/ hobby / 12-step/ support group you can think of…
your sex and geographic location has a lot to do with as well. there seems to be more for women and you will definitively encounter more social opportunities w/in the archdiocese of NYC or miami, vs in memphis, or birmingham or other parts of the < biblebelt>
i havent heard about too much for the middle-aged…but special focus groups exist for singles & divorced too…check into a larger, more populous parish…or call the diocese and ask to be emailed a list of para-church social and support ministries…
ive seen stuff that runs the spectrum from cthlc addicts, alcoholics etc to bikers, gardening enthusiasts and just about any other special interest/ hobby / 12-step/ support group you can think of…
your sex and geographic location has a lot to do with as well. there seems to be more for women and you will definitively encounter more social opportunities w/in the archdiocese of NYC or miami, vs in memphis, or birmingham or other parts of the < biblebelt>
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FaustinaJulia
Guest
I must be extremely blessed… no, make that I know I AM extremely blessed to have become a member of my parish and church right when I first started attending Mass. People have gone WAY out of their way to make me welcome. Now, I don’t talk to everyone nor has everyone in our small church spoken to me, but I absolutely feel that if I started to speak to someone that I’d be met with courtesy and a smile at the least.
To give a little background here, I just came into the Church at the 2013 Easter Vigil, but I’d been attending Mass since early Febuary 2012 and joined in on a Catholic Study group which met most Sundays after the first Mass. I first found out about this group from a lady who is an officer on the Church council (though you almost never hear it from her own lips… found out from the Church bulletin myself -chuckles-) who did make that first step to come up and greet me after Mass one of the first Sundays I went there and told me about it.
Imagine that. One person coming up to me helped me to enter into Church life and make the best friends that I’ve ever had in my whole life. I remember that year plus before I was accepted into the Church, while my ardour grew for our Lord and His Church and all that was a part of it, including the Eucharist and Precious Blood, before I could receive, I would of course remain sitting (I can’t kneel more then a moment or two due to health reasons) on the pew while everyone else went up and those friends who were there and would be going by where I sat always at the end of a pew, after receiving theirself, would smile to me and often pat my shoulder in support and sympathy.
What a blessing, like a love letter from Christ Himself in their actions! Nowadays, though I can receive and do unless something bars me from doing so, I often get an occasional pat or a wink or smile as they go bye. I sit up close to the front to be close as I can get to hear the homily and see the best, but I find Christ in that Church whatever part or party I approach. Please remember how important the way you treat people can be if they are new or have just returned or are new to your particular church. There are not enough words for me to express it adequately.
God Bless All of You
Julia
To give a little background here, I just came into the Church at the 2013 Easter Vigil, but I’d been attending Mass since early Febuary 2012 and joined in on a Catholic Study group which met most Sundays after the first Mass. I first found out about this group from a lady who is an officer on the Church council (though you almost never hear it from her own lips… found out from the Church bulletin myself -chuckles-) who did make that first step to come up and greet me after Mass one of the first Sundays I went there and told me about it.
Imagine that. One person coming up to me helped me to enter into Church life and make the best friends that I’ve ever had in my whole life. I remember that year plus before I was accepted into the Church, while my ardour grew for our Lord and His Church and all that was a part of it, including the Eucharist and Precious Blood, before I could receive, I would of course remain sitting (I can’t kneel more then a moment or two due to health reasons) on the pew while everyone else went up and those friends who were there and would be going by where I sat always at the end of a pew, after receiving theirself, would smile to me and often pat my shoulder in support and sympathy.
What a blessing, like a love letter from Christ Himself in their actions! Nowadays, though I can receive and do unless something bars me from doing so, I often get an occasional pat or a wink or smile as they go bye. I sit up close to the front to be close as I can get to hear the homily and see the best, but I find Christ in that Church whatever part or party I approach. Please remember how important the way you treat people can be if they are new or have just returned or are new to your particular church. There are not enough words for me to express it adequately.
God Bless All of You
Julia
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Tigg
Guest
But how will people automatically know you are new? Do you have any small groups in your parish? We moved out of state many years ago and registered in a parish with 5,000 families! We knew absolutely no one and could have become quite isolated in that crowd. I volunteered for library duty and met another who then invited me to a small prayer group and bible study. Then we registered for some adult ed classes and began to see familiar faces. Even though the parish was so large we didn’t always see people we knew at certain Masses, we felt we belonged as we made many friends in our smaller groups. We also made a point to invite our pastor (s) to dinner. Even though that was many years ago and we have since moved again, we still stay in touch with some of the wonderful people we got to know and whenever we pass through their town, or they in ours, we at least get together for breakfast or lunch.This is quite sad! I don’t know about Catholic converts, but I know about being new in a parish.
I have come back to the Church after much time away and in the past three months of attending the same mass every week at the same church, I have yet to have anyone come up to me and greet me/welcome me, etc. I feel very alone. Especially since I do not have any family who join me at mass each week. I’m sure many will say that I should be the one to initiate the conversations since I am the one who notices the lack, but doesn’t that seem wrong, considering I am the “new” person? I mean really, how do you go up to someone and announce, “Hey, I’m new here, so please greet me and make me feel welcome.”
Anyway, I continue to return each week, because I need to be close to Jesus. It is disappointing and hurtful that no one notices me, but I know Jesus knows I’m there.
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Regi
Guest
I would say they are Catholics who do not act very Christian.
I love attending the Easter vigil and seeing all the new converts coming into the church - it is so inspiring to see their joy and to welcome them to the ‘family’ afterwards.
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St_Francis
Guest
The thing that bothers me about this article is that he takes it to be a lack of welcoming for a convert. It’s not. If he were a convert who had not ruffled these bullies feathers but a convert who agrees with them in their criticism of the Church, they would be welcoming him with open arms, right?
They would react the same way if he were a cradle Catholic; they would just use some different words. If he had agreed with the Church’s stance on reproductive issues and he were a man, he’d be talking about something he should not talk about. If he were a woman, he’d be told he wasn’t *really *a woman. Whatever he had said as a cradle Catholic, there would have been an equally vituperative response, just adjusting the insult to suit the situation.
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TheLeastofThese
Guest
So that makes it okay?!?
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St_Francis
Guest
No, not at all. He seems to have been trying to draw out the irony of the attitude of those who constantly say they want to welcome people with their reception of him, but that got lost in the article.So that makes it okay?!?
It’s also not an important point–it’s more of a side-note. To focus on lack of welcome in the article as he did, he was putting forth a notion which is not the case. Few Catholics are generally unwelcoming, bit it is true that Catholics go to Mass to be with God and so have a tendency not to pay attention at that time to their neighbors. and that is an issue because Carholic culture is not oriented that way: for millenia we had Catholic neighborhoods so we saw people from church all week long. Mass was a separate time.
Now we don’t have Catholic neighborhoods, we may never see another Catholic outside of Mass. We do need to develop new ways in which to promote relationships between the people at Mass and to welcome newcomers.
Bit what he was describing was not the problem is being unwelcoming to newcomers or converts, bit the bullying of people who don’t agree with the bullies. I find it disturbing that he called the people out for being unwelcoming and missed that they were bullying. Moreover, by doing this, he encouraged the stereotype of the unwelcoming Catholic, with no explanation as to why Catholics do this, and gave no help to those who are bullied by people who disagree with them.
I think if he had said, Wow, look at the hypocritical tactics these people will stoop to! and how can people who are loyal to Church teaching counteract them, that it would have been a better article.
I’ve enjoyed some of his other posts, and I am not mad or anything about what he did, because he was probably in a hurry–blog posts are not books or something which are carefully edited, but I felt disturbed by his take.
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