Ashamed to defend and accept chastity publicly

[tiagolc]

Let me set the scene. I’m a Catholic teenager that has almost none practicing-following-Church-rules friends (I don’t want to judge and say none). Society now glorifies sex and masturbation is so popular that you are a wierdo if you don’t do it. My only openly chaste friend is a mormon who everyone was shocked when he said that he won’t masturbate or have sex until marriage.
I used to be one of them, I haven’t yet come out of the Chastity closet but I am afraid of doing it. Any tips? Is it a sin?

 

[petitfleur]

I think yoir doing fine! there is nothing wrong with keeping it quiet and just setting an example. You might feel like sharing this with people as you get to know them and the timing feels right. The only thing I would say is to be clear about this to people before you get into a boyfriend girlfiriend relationship to avoid being pressured into it. It is good to have both peoe that are very open with their beliefs, and other that are quiet and personal with it. Some might look at your friend and admire him and other might feel he his “preachy”. Some might look at you and be surprised by your convictions, and touched by your modesty with it.

 

[tiagolc]

I think yoir doing fine! there is nothing wrong with keeping it quiet and just setting an example. You might feel like sharing this with people as you get to know them and the timing feels right. The only thing I would say is to be clear about this to people before you get into a boyfriend girlfiriend relationship to avoid being pressured into it. It is good to have both peoe that are very open with their beliefs, and other that are quiet and personal with it. Some might look at your friend and admire him and other might feel he his “preachy”. Some might look at you and be surprised by your convictions, and touched by your modesty with it.

Well, a few minutes ago, in a Whatsapp chat group, we were talking about 50 Shades of Gray ( a VERY VERY graphic erotic book) and I said I didn’t like those books, a friend ask why and I said “Ya know” in a joking way to avoid the subject (she didn’t know, but it was in a misterious-joking way). Was that a sin?
However, I said, in a later occasion, that it objectivises (I appologise if it is wrong spelled) women.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

2339 Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.126 "Man’s dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end."127

2340 Whoever wants to remain faithful to his baptismal promises and resist temptations will want to adopt the means for doing so: self-knowledge, practice of an ascesis adapted to the situations that confront him, obedience to God’s commandments, exercise of the moral virtues, and fidelity to prayer. "Indeed it is through chastity that we are gathered together and led back to the unity from which we were fragmented into multiplicity."128

2341 The virtue of chastity comes under the cardinal virtue of temperance, which seeks to permeate the passions and appetites of the senses with reason.

2342 Self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all. It presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life.129 The effort required can be more intense in certain periods, such as when the personality is being formed during childhood and adolescence.

2343 Chastity has laws of growth which progress through stages marked by imperfection and too often by sin. "Man . . . day by day builds himself up through his many free decisions; and so he knows, loves, and accomplishes moral good by stages of growth."130

2344 Chastity represents an eminently personal task; it also involves a cultural effort, for there is "an interdependence between personal betterment and the improvement of society."131 Chastity presupposes respect for the rights of the person, in particular the right to receive information and an education that respect the moral and spiritual dimensions of human life.

2345 Chastity is a moral virtue. It is also a gift from God, a grace, a fruit of spiritual effort.132 The Holy Spirit enables one whom the water of Baptism has regenerated to imitate the purity of Christ.133

 

[tiagolc]

Giggly_Giraffe:
It’s nice to have that.

 

[Luvz2travel]

Let me set the scene. I’m a Catholic teenager that has almost none practicing-following-Church-rules friends (I don’t want to judge and say none). Society now glorifies sex and masturbation is so popular that you are a wierdo if you don’t do it. My only openly chaste friend is a mormon who everyone was shocked when he said that he won’t masturbate or have sex until marriage.
I used to be one of them, I haven’t yet come out of the Chastity closet but I am afraid of doing it. Any tips? Is it a sin?

It’s really nobody’s business but your own or maybe whoever your dating when you get to know them well enough. If you know they expect you to put out then it’s best to be upfront about it right way to save yourselves time on both sides.

 

[tiagolc]

It’s really nobody’s business but your own or maybe whoever your dating when you get to know them well enough. If you know they expect you to put out then it’s best to be upfront about it right way to save yourselves time on both sides.

I’m not dating anyone yet, I’m fifteen. I know I could but I think that it’s a waste of time because what most teenagers want now is sex (except practicing Catholics) and I am not available for that. Don’t get me wrong, my parents met when they were my age but those were different times.

 

[EasterJoy]

I’m not dating anyone yet, I’m fifteen. I know I could but I think that it’s a waste of time because what most teenagers want now is sex (except practicing Catholics) and I am not available for that. Don’t get me wrong, my parents met when they were my age but those were different times.

Actually, according to the US Centers for Disease Control, the number of persons aged 15-19 who have ever had sexual intercourse has steadily dropped since 1988.

Yes! When your parents met,* more* of their peers were sexually active than people your age now! According to the CDC, over 75% of teens 15 and older had not had any sexual relations in the past month. IOW, even among those who are not virgins, most people your age do not have sex as frequently as they might imply that they do!

Among those polled who had never had sex, only about 35% of males said they had abstained for religious or moral reasons. (Yes, there are non-religious people who believe that at least some sex outside of marriage is immoral.) That was the number one reason, but it was by no means the only reason.

You have to understand that you are not the only virgin who keeps his mouth shut about your values. That doesn’t mean you are the only guy that has your values. The truth is, you are the kind of guy that other guys want their sister to date, because you aren’t going to take advantage of her. You are the kind of guy that fathers want their daughters to date, because you are going to do your part to keep the two of you pure. Don’t sell that short. When it comes to choosing the guy for someone they care about, you are the kind of guy that other men would choose. Do yourself a favor, and do your future wife a favor. Stay that way, treat the women you date as you will want men to treat your own daughters, and do not apologize to anybody for it.

 

[tiagolc]

Actually, according to the US Centers for Disease Control, the number of persons aged 15-19 who have ever had sexual intercourse has steadily dropped since 1988.

Yes! When your parents met,* more* of their peers were sexually active than people your age now! According to the CDC, over 75% of teens 15 and older had not had any sexual relations in the past month. IOW, even among those who are not virgins, most people your age do not have sex as frequently as they might imply that they do!

Among those polled who had never had sex, only about 35% of males said they had abstained for religious or moral reasons. (Yes, there are non-religious people who believe that at least some sex outside of marriage is immoral.) That was the number one reason, but it was by no means the only reason.

You have to understand that you are not the only virgin who keeps his mouth shut about your values. That doesn’t mean you are the only guy that has your values. The truth is, you are the kind of guy that other guys want their sister to date, because you aren’t going to take advantage of her. You are the kind of guy that fathers want their daughters to date, because you are going to do your part to keep the two of you pure. Don’t sell that short. When it comes to choosing the guy for someone they care about, you are the kind of guy that other men would choose. Do yourself a favor, and do your future wife a favor. Stay that way, treat the women you date as you will want men to treat your own daughters, and do not apologize to anybody for it.

Maybe in USA it dropped but I think it’s the other way here in Argentine. That last thing you said sounds promising though