Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics

[fnr]

This fall, I may be leading a small group in my parish geared at bringing back Catholics who have been away from the Church. It’ll be a weekly group for discussing the upcoming Sundays’ readings.

Has anyone here had particular success with reaching out to Catholics who have been away from the Church? I would guess that some people go to Protestant churches, while others just stop attending religious services altogether.

Any strategies you can suggest for inviting people back would be wonderful. Also, if you have any stories on how to keep people talking and getting them to come back to mass, that would be wonderful as well. Humor, stories, particular verses… all would be most helpful.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I wish you every success with this group. I think it’s an area where action is greatly needed.

We tried something similar in my parish and it wasn’t a huge success. I had lots of people volunteer to help with the group (and it was wonderful that so many people found it to be a good idea) but we didn’t have people show up. In the end we decided that that a group format wasn’t quite right for us and ended up going to a one-on-one type of thing. If someone contacted the parish about either themselves or someone else who was interested in coming back to the Church I would meet with them individually to see what they needed and go from there.

Some people just needed to know that the could come back. Some people had questions about all kinds of topics. Some people needed help with marriage situations. And so on. It seemed to work well though it was small.

And an aside about the program and how that went. We decided to start it in January with the idea that there would be flyers in the pews at the Christmas Masses welcoming people to the parish and inviting them to our group if they had thoughts about returning to the Church. Then at the last minute the pastor decided to skip the flyers. I was frustrated! Christmas and Easter (and maybe Ash Wednesday) seem like the times to reach out to the people who only come to Mass occasionally and we missed our opportunity.

 

[Fan_of_Francis]

This fall, I may be leading a small group in my parish geared at bringing back Catholics who have been away from the Church. It’ll be a weekly group for discussing the upcoming Sundays’ readings.

Has anyone here had particular success with reaching out to Catholics who have been away from the Church? I would guess that some people go to Protestant churches, while others just stop attending religious services altogether.

Any strategies you can suggest for inviting people back would be wonderful. Also, if you have any stories on how to keep people talking and getting them to come back to mass, that would be wonderful as well. Humor, stories, particular verses… all would be most helpful.

Many people leave because they do not feel a “connection”. The may not “get anything out of it” or it is “boring” Some seek the emotional aspect of it as found in the Charismatic Renewal. Some have “Church family” where meetings and gathering take place and they have found family and friends. A small town vrs a City may have different methods to outreach.
My guess would be to meet them where they are at. If they had bad or unwelcoming experience they may not want to come back and stay away. Consider targeting a sector of the population such as elderly, moms and dads, care takers, youth, divorced, single, etc and go from there. What will keep a person coming back? knowing that they are accepted, wanted and needed no matter what is going on in their life. A safe place so to speak. The Holy Spirit will do the rest. And prayer lots of prayer. Whick I will do for you and your group.

 

[Country_Gal]

The biggest obstacle for me is that I’d need to go to confession to confess that I was alienated from the Church. I don’t think it’s a sin.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

The biggest obstacle for me is that I’d need to go to confession to confess that I was alienated from the Church. I don’t think it’s a sin.

I like that the sacrament also has the name Reconciliation. Isn’t that what’s needed? Reconciliation with God, reconciliation with the Church, reconciliation with other people, even reconciliation between our own standards – what we should do – and what we actually do.

 

[Celtic_Maiden]

The biggest obstacle for me is that I’d need to go to confession to confess that I was alienated from the Church. I don’t think it’s a sin.

I think your missing the point its more about while you were away from the Church
doing “your own thing”
Maybe you committed mortal sin, by not going to Sunday Mass and various other things, that only you know about that is why when you return to the Church you have to go to Confession. The Church wants you and all its members to get to heaven so like a good Mother she wants her children to do the right thing, not living away like a pagan.
Its takes a lot to be humble, I am a Jewish convert so you would think I would find Confession hard, but I find it easy, I don’t bat an eyelid, I know I am a sinner and have the humility to admit it, and that is what its about, humility to admit we are frail and we sin but we admit our sins and we are cleansed , how lucky we are in the Catholic Church to have this .

 

[Celtic_Maiden]

I wish you every success with this group. I think it’s an area where action is greatly needed.

We tried something similar in my parish and it wasn’t a huge success. I had lots of people volunteer to help with the group (and it was wonderful that so many people found it to be a good idea) but we didn’t have people show up. In the end we decided that that a group format wasn’t quite right for us and ended up going to a one-on-one type of thing. If someone contacted the parish about either themselves or someone else who was interested in coming back to the Church I would meet with them individually to see what they needed and go from there.

Some people just needed to know that the could come back. Some people had questions about all kinds of topics. Some people needed help with marriage situations. And so on. It seemed to work well though it was small.

And an aside about the program and how that went. We decided to start it in January with the idea that there would be flyers in the pews at the Christmas Masses welcoming people to the parish and inviting them to our group if they had thoughts about returning to the Church. Then at the last minute the pastor decided to skip the flyers. I was frustrated! Christmas and Easter (and maybe Ash Wednesday) seem like the times to reach out to the people who only come to Mass occasionally and we missed our opportunity.

I am in the Legion of Mary doing just that, going door to door trying to bring back the “fallen” we give them Rosary beads, Miraculous Medal, and any literature on what is bothering them, some of them are like are Protestant brethren they think the Church teaches this, that and the other, when they have been very poorly taught the Catholic faith and come up with real odd questions, which we answer and which is not taught at all, sometimes we might pray with them at the doorway for there health if they allow us to, we tell them of any events happening in the Parish, like what you said they might find prayer and Mass boring, but we say to them, its not what you get out of it, but rather what are you putting into it while you are at Mass, are you praying and worshipping the Lord, or do you just want disco music .
They tell me of course they don’t want disco music, well we say, some of the Church’s have lovely music, I then name the Church’s that have Church music, either the Novus Ordo or the Tridentine Mass , I tell them the various Church’s that have theses and the times, and what sort of Religious Music to expect. I had one fallen away Catholic last Friday who told me he was watching EWTN and realized his life was not in Order, asked me a good few questions, I told him the times of Confession in our local Church, and gave him a small booklet on the Mass for this Sunday when he goes back after 20 years away, and going to Confession on Friday. I could just imagine all the Angels (and Me) singing and rejoicing.

 

[Jozefo]

Best topic I’ve seen on this forum since I started coming here! Thank you for bringing it up.

I feel alienated. I hope this thread picks up some interest from other posters, because I don’t know how to define the source of alienation. Maybe someone will say something close to what I’m feeling.

 

[boomerang]

Best topic I’ve seen on this forum since I started coming here! Thank you for bringing it up.

I feel alienated. I hope this thread picks up some interest from other posters, because I don’t know how to define the source of alienation. Maybe someone will say something close to what I’m feeling.

I think the Catholic church can make you feel alienated. This is where the protestant/evangelical/non-denominational churches have the Catholic church beat by a mile. These churches make you feel as if you have found a family, not just a church, because I feel these churches are very parishioner-oriented. Our Mass is Christ-oriented. We’re not there to entertain one another. This can be very alienating for those who don’t have strong families that go to Mass together. Our church started in times when people had strong, close families and communities. They felt connected to each other, so when they went to Mass, it felt OK to lose sight of one another and get lost in the ritual of the Eucharist. But nowadays, many people are so separated from one another through divorce, moving away from family, single parents, only-child households, etc., that these people want and need the social family-like atmosphere that the protestant churches offer. Western society has changed and devolved so much over the last century, I’m afraid that our church is unattractive to those who look to churches to fill their need for friends and family. I don’t know what the answer is. The only thing that will bring them back is if they realize that the Catholic church is the only church that has the sacraments that they need to sustain spiritual life. They will have to keep their eyes on the prize, and endure the loneliness that the Mass engenders, and that requires a willingness to make sacrifices. But who know? If enough singles come back, the Catholic church might end up being the coolest gig in town!

 

[boomerang]

This fall, I may be leading a small group in my parish geared at bringing back Catholics who have been away from the Church. It’ll be a weekly group for discussing the upcoming Sundays’ readings.

Has anyone here had particular success with reaching out to Catholics who have been away from the Church? I would guess that some people go to Protestant churches, while others just stop attending religious services altogether.

Any strategies you can suggest for inviting people back would be wonderful. Also, if you have any stories on how to keep people talking and getting them to come back to mass, that would be wonderful as well. Humor, stories, particular verses… all would be most helpful.

I’ve been trying to get two ladies from my work to come back. One objection I’ve encountered is “having to go to confession”. She hadn’t been in decades. I told her that confession (at least at my church) is really easy. Our priest is so nice, I told her. Really light penances, no guilt trips! I don’t know if this convinced her, but I see confession as a real deal-breaker. The other lady just seems apathetic. That’s hard to fight.

Lately I’ve been envisioning the priests doing a general absolution say, once a year. Maybe run an ad in the paper, whatever. Have everyone show up in the church and the priest just forgives everyone. Boom. Done. I know it’s not the best way, but I’ll bet many people would come back if they could do it that way. I’ve also been thinking about having booths at fairs and festivals, or maybe a kiosk at a mall. Have a priest there to hear confession and answer questions. Might be fruitful.

 

[Petaro]

The Church in my area had a formal group based evangelisation called Catholics Returning to the Faith. I went to one meeting and a group of opinionated, judgemental stalwarts of the parish with their name tags in white plastic on their lapels led the charge. Many ‘returnees’
'talked of abuse in catholic schools they had experienced. This line was immediately closed down. Others spoke of alienation due to being ostracised from the Eucharist as they were the innocent victim of divorce by their spouse. This was stamped on as no discussion of doctrine was allowed.
The whole experience of watching these untrained experts push away good people approaching a confronting situation made me very angry. It is important not to be defensive against legitimate concerns about Church faults or hard doctrines. Most of all LISTEN. It should not be a debating club. Prayerful welcoming respect is a good start. Leave the rest to God.

 

[edwest2]

1. I suggest looking at this web site which provides a kind of list of all the primary reasons Catholics feel alienated.

catholicscomehome.org/

1. Realize the your grandparents, parents, relatives and younger people are all experiencing the effects of a pagan culture that was marketed as “peace and love” but which was actually a dictatorship promoting open defiance of the Church, especially marriage, and forgetting about everything Catholic. “Do your own thing.” Smoke dope, enjoy porn, live with your girlfriend and have sex with her. With No-Fault Divorce came this feeling of why bother? I can just divorce the guy. No, I’m not talking about mental and/or physical abuse, but I know too many Christians with two or three divorces under their belts. Sure, we can make a mistake once, but two or three times?
2. Guilt. God won’t forgive me for the abortion, the adultery, the porn addiction, the drug addiction, the divorces. God’s infinite mercy is waiting for all.
3. Bad examples all around. I mean, how can anyone watch a lot of TV or see most movies and not think the behaviors are somehow OK or neutral? Or the Church is “too restrictive” in regards to sex. This is a result of people not even knowing what dating is. Too often, it’s ‘let’s hop in the sack,’ ‘the sex is good’ and we may or may not get married.
4. People had a bad experience at some Church somewhere or just saw their fellow Catholics skipping Church altogether.

We are living in a time where people are confused. They need the truth. Yes, some will say no, but don’t count that as a loss, just add that person to your prayer list, and the others - what joy it is to help bring them home.

I encourage going door to door, fully equipped with the necessary knowledge to answer most any question and the willingness to follow through and find an answer to something unexpected, and help that person to lose that feeling of God/the Church won’t take me back. It’s been 10, 20, 30 years! Will God take me back? They just need another human being who is faithful to say yes and encourage them.

God bless,
Ed

 

[Jozefo]

The Church in my area had a formal group based evangelisation called Catholics Returning to the Faith. I went to one meeting and a group of opinionated, judgemental stalwarts of the parish with their name tags in white plastic on their lapels led the charge. Many ‘returnees’
'talked of abuse in catholic schools they had experienced. This line was immediately closed down. Others spoke of alienation due to being ostracised from the Eucharist as they were the innocent victim of divorce by their spouse. This was stamped on as no discussion of doctrine was allowed.
The whole experience of watching these untrained experts push away good people approaching a confronting situation made me very angry. It is important not to be defensive against legitimate concerns about Church faults or hard doctrines. Most of all LISTEN. It should not be a debating club. Prayerful welcoming respect is a good start. Leave the rest to God.

Yes, LISTENING is important!

 

[Jozefo]

1. I suggest looking at this web site which provides a kind of list of all the primary reasons Catholics feel alienated.

catholicscomehome.org/

1. Realize the your grandparents, parents, relatives and younger people are all experiencing the effects of a pagan culture that was marketed as “peace and love” but which was actually a dictatorship promoting open defiance of the Church, especially marriage, and forgetting about everything Catholic. “Do your own thing.” Smoke dope, enjoy porn, live with your girlfriend and have sex with her. With No-Fault Divorce came this feeling of why bother? I can just divorce the guy. No, I’m not talking about mental and/or physical abuse, but I know too many Christians with two or three divorces under their belts. Sure, we can make a mistake once, but two or three times?
2. Guilt. God won’t forgive me for the abortion, the adultery, the porn addiction, the drug addiction, the divorces. God’s infinite mercy is waiting for all.
3. Bad examples all around. I mean, how can anyone watch a lot of TV or see most movies and not think the behaviors are somehow OK or neutral? Or the Church is “too restrictive” in regards to sex. This is a result of people not even knowing what dating is. Too often, it’s ‘let’s hop in the sack,’ ‘the sex is good’ and we may or may not get married.
4. People had a bad experience at some Church somewhere or just saw their fellow Catholics skipping Church altogether.

We are living in a time where people are confused. They need the truth. Yes, some will say no, but don’t count that as a loss, just add that person to your prayer list, and the others - what joy it is to help bring them home.

I encourage going door to door, fully equipped with the necessary knowledge to answer most any question and the willingness to follow through and find an answer to something unexpected, and help that person to lose that feeling of God/the Church won’t take me back. It’s been 10, 20, 30 years! Will God take me back? They just need another human being who is faithful to say yes and encourage them.

God bless,
Ed

Great post, Ed. I think you covered all the big issues very well. There’s a lot of truth in what you say. Great idea about going door to door. Are you aware of any Catholic groups that actually do that? I can’t recall any Catholic people ever knocking on my door, evangelizing.

 

[edwest2]

Great post, Ed. I think you covered all the big issues very well. There’s a lot of truth in what you say. Great idea about going door to door. Are you aware of any Catholic groups that actually do that? I can’t recall any Catholic people ever knocking on my door, evangelizing.

See post #7.

Best,
Ed

 

[bettyg51]

they might find prayer and Mass boring, but we say to them, its not what you get out of it, but rather what are you putting into it while you are at Mass, are you praying and worshipping the Lord, or do you just want disco music .

I would say, “its not what you get out of it, but rather what are you open to receive while you are at Mass.”

I did door-to-door for nine years. The form we used had a question for inactive Catholics: Have you ever thought about coming back? Do you miss the Eucharist?

We apologized from inconsiderate behavior of priests and nuns. We handed out information on divorce, remarriage, and annulments. We encouraged them to call the rectory. Results? The priests reported an increase of people coming to Reconciliation after being away for 30-40 years and increased enrollment in catechism classes for public school children. We got one person into the RCIA.

We asked if there were any questions about the Catholic faith. The questions were usually the common apologetics FAQ that Catholic Answers has taught us to respond to. We may not have converted many, but we set the record straight for those questions.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I feel alienated. Maybe someone will say something close to what I’m feeling.

Have you had a chance to get some spiritual direction? That helped me a lot a few years ago when I was feeling alienated and confused and had no clue what I was supposed to do with this church/faith thing. It can be a priest or a religious, as well as a trained lay person. They figure out where you are spiritually and work from there. If you have a chance to do this, even for just a few meetings, give it a try.

 

[Jozefo]

Have you had a chance to get some spiritual direction? That helped me a lot a few years ago when I was feeling alienated and confused and had no clue what I was supposed to do with this church/faith thing. It can be a priest or a religious, as well as a trained lay person. They figure out where you are spiritually and work from there. If you have a chance to do this, even for just a few meetings, give it a try.

No, I don’t even know where to begin with that. I’ve been thinking I need to call my parish office and arrange to speak with someone, but they’re very, very busy. It doesn’t help that I’m kind of a loner.

In the end, I figure God will make something happen. He always does.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

No, I don’t even know where to begin with that. I’ve been thinking I need to call my parish office and arrange to speak with someone, but they’re very, very busy. It doesn’t help that I’m kind of a loner.

In the end, I figure God will make something happen. He always does.

Yes, the usual: parishes are quite busy. It doesn’t hurt to email them and ask if they know of someone who could help. Or you could get in touch with a religious order in your area and see if anyone would be willing to see you. Do you have the Jesuits in your area? They are quite good at this and train lay people to do spiritual direction. The person who helped me was trained in the Jesuit tradition of spiritual exercises. Even if the method doesn’t resonate with you, the conversation with the spiritual director will probably be helpful because they will adapt their approach to your needs. This is what happened in my case.

 

[Jozefo]

Yes, the usual: parishes are quite busy. It doesn’t hurt to email them and ask if they know of someone who could help. Or you could get in touch with a religious order in your area and see if anyone would be willing to see you. Do you have the Jesuits in your area? They are quite good at this and train lay people to do spiritual direction. The person who helped me was trained in the Jesuit tradition of spiritual exercises. Even if the method doesn’t resonate with you, the conversation with the spiritual director will probably be helpful because they will adapt their approach to your needs. This is what happened in my case.

I hadn’t thought about email. Now I’m kicking myself. It never ocurred to me. That’s what I’ll do. Thank you for your suggestions