Atheist brother coming to visit

[ze100]

My brother who is an atheist is coming for the holidays with his girlfriend and if he is to stay with us would expect to sleep with his girlfriend. I will never accept this from my children, but given that my brother is so far from the Church, I wonder if it is not better to have him see our family life up close - maybe it would influence him positively. The alternative is that I not accept him sleeping with his girlfriend in our house and they stay at a nearby hotel… but somehow I don’t find this very Catholic. Aren’t we Catholics supposed to love our neighbor irregardless of who they are? Can I have your opinions?

 

[mommy_k]

Not accepting that they share a bedroom means you don’t accept the behavior. You can still accept and love your brother and explain this to him.

I don’t know how old your children are, but it’s not a good idea for them to witness this…at anyage…it sets a bad example for them. It makes your rules and values relative and changeable.

Also—in the future they may want to copy this behavior, and claim that they are atheist too, so they can do it.

 

[Rosebud77]

Your house, your family, your rules.

 

[pensmama87]

I gave this advice to another poster a few months ago: when you discuss his visit (in advance!) mention sleeping arrangements offhand without judgment: “We’ll put Jane in the guest room and you on the pull-out couch in the basement.” If he finds that unacceptable he can find alternative accommodations, and he has plenty of time to do so.

You’re still housing him, and his guest. Make it an etiquette thing. If he protests, you can very simply say, “That’s just not how we do things at our house. Thank you for being understanding.”

 

[pianistclare]

I gave this advice to another poster a few months ago: when you discuss his visit (in advance!) mention sleeping arrangements offhand without judgment: “We’ll put Jane in the guest room and you on the pull-out couch in the basement.” If he finds that unacceptable he can find alternative accommodations, and he has plenty of time to do so.

You’re still housing him, and his guest. Make it an etiquette thing. If he protests, you can very simply say, “That’s just not how we do things at our house. Thank you for being understanding.”

Exactly. He is a guest. They wold probably PREFER to be elsewhere, frankly. If you are practicing Catholics, he won’t enjoy being around the visible signs of your faith without making a comment here or there. Less opportunity for that if they are only at your house for a few hours at a time.
Them staying elsewhere will make it far more enjoyable for everyone.
Rather than fighting over religion, the focus will be on family time.
I hope the visit goes well, and you can experience a closeness with him.

 

[1ke]

I gave this advice to another poster a few months ago: when you discuss his visit (in advance!) mention sleeping arrangements offhand without judgment: “We’ll put Jane in the guest room and you on the pull-out couch in the basement.” If he finds that unacceptable he can find alternative accommodations, and he has plenty of time to do so.

You’re still housing him, and his guest. Make it an etiquette thing. If he protests, you can very simply say, “That’s just not how we do things at our house. Thank you for being understanding.”

I agree.

Give the arrangements beforehand, and that way he has time to make other arrangements if those aren’t suitable.

 

[Upgrade25]

Requiem in aeternum, friend. Just kidding. Have fun with your bro after you fighre out the arrangements. My fallible opinion, set it up beforehand so he doesn’t feel as if you are just kicking him out.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

Exactly. He is a guest. They wold probably PREFER to be elsewhere, frankly. If you are practicing Catholics, he won’t enjoy being around the visible signs of your faith without making a comment here or there. Less opportunity for that if they are only at your house for a few hours at a time.
Them staying elsewhere will make it far more enjoyable for everyone.
Rather than fighting over religion, the focus will be on family time.
I hope the visit goes well, and you can experience a closeness with him.

What PC said. Peace

 

[Anglewannabe]

I honestly do NOT understand the issue. IMO it is so easy to say ‘I would love to have you visit but as a Catholic, I do not allowed non married people share a room’. Who cares if he doesn’t like it