Attending a Civil Wedding for a Baptized Catholic

[ml12345]

Hello,

My brother and I were baptized Catholic as children. Shortly after, my parents fell away from the Church, and we were subsequently not catechized. While in college, by the grace of God, I returned to the church and married properly in the Church. Unfortunately, my brother has not yet returned to the Church, describing himself as agnostic. He got engaged last year (to a non-baptized, non-Christian), and is getting a civil marriage next month. I have been planning on attemdomg (and have told them and the rest of my family so).

Today, my wife was chatting with some friends from our parish home schooling group, and was told that we were obligated not to attend this wedding because he was baptized Catholic. He has no intention of getting a sacramental marriage, nor is he even aware of the obligation for Catholics to marry in the Church.

If this is true, and we don’t attend, I fear the reproach of him, my parents, and my family. Even more so, I fear that he will completely shut himself off from even talking about the Church.

Please advise on the situation. God bless.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Go and be supportive of your brother. I would have a problem with this if he is an active Catholic. But if he’s fallen away, what do we expect of him? If you told him you are not going because of your faith, he’ll think that Catholicism is about being snobish to those who are not Catholics. How can you lead him back into the Church then?

Be a good Catholic and be a good brother. Show your support, pray for him. Hopefully by your actions and charity, may he be led back into the Church.

 

[JWmAllen]

I do not believe the information you received above is completely accurate/correct about attending the civil ceremony of your brother. At times we have to live our faith and witnesses to it. That requires some very difficult decisions on our part. I think if your brother was to formally remove himself by letter from the church by way of his Diocese and the Bishop you would be able to attend and not create a scandal for you who pratices your Catholic faith as a Baptized member of the Body of Christ. I would double check with Catholic Answers to get the official word on this circumstance.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hello
Today, my wife was chatting with some friends from our parish home schooling group, and was told that we were obligated not to attend this wedding because he was baptized Catholic. He has no intention of getting a sacramental marriage, nor is he even aware of the obligation for Catholics to marry in the Church.

.

I think your friend is exceeding his authority. Yes he may be giving his personal opinion but he may not know all the facts, either. There is no obligation either way, but there is a prudential judgement to be made. It is one thing for the wedding of a family member who has never observed the faith, does not know or is not interested in the rules. It is quite another if it is one, particularly your child, who has been raised and lived as a CAtholic, who is deliberately disobeying the laws of the Church, which usually includes at least a degree of rebellion against the faith and teaching of the parents. Only you know the situation of your own family, and whether you will help or hurt the situation by your actions.

 

[joandarc2008]

I actually believe the apologists did answer this one - they answered in favor of being charitable and keeping the family peace as well as showing God’s love. They also have cautioned against taking an overly active role in the ceremony. God bless, enjoy the wedding, eat lots of food.