Attending a second wedding? Not feelin it?

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katpants

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Family member is getting more involved and seeing how things usually progress with said member, engagment/marriage is about a year away.

Said person has been divorced. Wasn’t a particular fan of being dragged to the first wedding…personal issues if you will.

Said person skipped husband and my wedding to attend a sports event. So…not really wanting to go through all the horse puckey again.

Am I being weird about it? Even Hubby’s not on fire for the idea.

Thanks!

Kat
 
katpants said:
Family member is getting more involved and seeing how things usually progress with said member, engagment/marriage is about a year away.

Said person has been divorced. Wasn’t a particular fan of being dragged to the first wedding…personal issues if you will.

Said person skipped husband and my wedding to attend a sports event. So…not really wanting to go through all the horse puckey again.

Am I being weird about it? Even Hubby’s not on fire for the idea.

Thanks!

Kat
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I think you have lots of time to develop a previous engagement…
 
Xantippe said:
I think you have lots of time to develop a previous engagement…
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This. You aren’t talking about a person who puts a high value on attending every wedding you’re ever invited to go to. When the invitation comes, you simply send a card back with regrets. You don’t have to say where you’re going to be instead.
 
EasterJoy said:
This. You aren’t talking about a person who puts a high value on attending every wedding you’re ever invited to go to. When the invitation comes, you simply send a card back with regrets.** You don’t have to say where you’re going to be instead.**
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Right.
 
IF you are invited, it’s an invitation, not a summons.

Didn’t you say something about needing to give your cat a bath that day?
 
There was similar circumstance in our family…there was even a 2nd bridal shower and engagement party. Will this couple have that too?
 
Rosebud77 said:
Never sure re slamming a door on anyone.
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At most large weddings, about 1/3 of the people invited don’t come. Even a small wedding usually has a few people missing that the bride and groom will actually notice aren’t there for more than a minute or two.

If the bride or groom in question was someone who had taken great trouble and made it a point to attend the OP’s wedding, I’d be concerned about a failure to show up as “slamming a door.” Yes, that would be someone likely to be offended, and with reason.

As it is, the groom does not see that attendance at the wedding of someone who is this degree of association as mandatory. (Does the bride even* know* these guests? I’m guessing she does not.)

If my mom were extremely adamant that I attend a wedding like this, I might do it for her sake. It isn’t a big deal to go to a wedding I don’t feel like attending; if she’d be happy to see me there, that would accomplish something. Otherwise, why go? So the bride and groom or their families can pay to host you even though they are this likely to miss whether or not you even come? When there is every chance that they are inviting you because it is pro forma to send you an invitation? I don’t see it. The OP ought to decline politely–do not neglect to send regrets–but it seems quite OK to decline. Reasons are not required. If you see them, say, “We won’t be there, but we do hope you have a beautiful day.”
 
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