Attending Mass for the first time?

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xBelle

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Hey, everyone :). I’m sure you get these sort of questions a LOT, but I thought I’d post it for myself anyways :). I’m 17-years-old (turning 18 in September), and for the last year or two have found myself feeling a very, very strong connection to Catholicism. My dad was a Catholic, but my mother was a Jehova’s Wittness, so I wasn’t really raised with any faith. I was always just told that good people go to Heaven and bad people go to Hell. However, after my dad passed away when I was 10-years-old, I decided that I wanted to join him in Heaven, so started becoming more religious. That lasted for a couple of years, and then I left my faith, primarily because of the hardships I was going through. However, now that I’m a bit older and am discovering more about myself, I’ve noticed that my soul is lacking the proper nourishment. And after researching many different forms of Christianity and other religions, the one that has always felt the most “right”, the most like “home”, has been Catholicism.

Every day I pass a huge Catholic church, and every day I think, “Ok, next Sunday, I’m attending their Mass.” Needless to say that this has yet to happen, primarily out of how nervous I am. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. Maybe because I’ve been portrayed as the liberal, non-religious girl for so long, that I’m afraid of running into former peers? Or maybe it’s because I’m afraid of looking silly when I don’t know when to sit, stand, etc. All I know is that something inside of me is preventing me from attending.

I’ve researched Catholicism for a very long time, including reading books such as Catholicism for Dummies. But I’m just not sure if I should attend Mass or not. And if I do, what should I do? Should I participate with the church, or just remain sitting the entire time? Should I bring anything like a hymn book? How should I dress?

Thanks everyone <3.
God bless!
 
You will be able to know when to sit, stand, kneel because the people around you will do it, and you will see them and do it. Believe me you will look fine. I dont know where you live, but dont where anything to revealing capris, a skirt etc. will be fine… you dont need a hymn book there is one provided in the pews. You may want to look up the order of the mass so you know what is happening when it is happening. For example, during the peace be with you- you shake hands with the people around you. During the Our Father you hold hands with the people next to you and pray it (not every church does these two things). It is okay if you do not know the prayers, they should be in the hymn book, but dont stress out about it!
When it is time for the Eucharist do not recieve it, just stay standing or sitting.
Hope this helps!
 
Don’t be afraid - you are on your journey home. Welcome!

Attend Mass, sit where you feel comfortable but with at least a few rows of people ahead of you and towards the end of the pew close to a wall. Sit, stand, kneel with the others - just move with the group, you won’t be the fastest and likely won’t be the slowest. If you are not comfortable kneeling, sit at that time.
You don’t have to bring anything. Where what is comfortable - I’m assuming you dress modestly normally.
You shouldn’t go forward for communion yet b/c Catholics have a closed communion (this is explained in Catholicism for dummies :D). When it is time for communion, remain kneeling or sit when your row stands (that’s why you sit near the end - so no one has to walk over you). When people from your row come back stand to let them in.
There is very likely a Missal with the hymnals which will provide an outline of Mass so follow along if you like.
No one will think ill of you if you make a mistake or when you don’t go forward for communion. In all honesty it is unlikely anyone will look twice at you at all. (This isn’t because we’re anti-social, we just don’t pressure anyone).
When you feel comfortable (after attending Mass a few times or before if you like) talk to your local priest and explain what you did here. He will get you on the right path for fully learning about the Catholic faith and joining when the time is right (okay I’m taking liberty here in assuming you will eventually want to be in full communion with the Church but that is my prayer;).)

Again welcome to the path home!
 
I first attended Mass with my fiancee (now wife) at age 26. I hadn’t been raised in any faith, and I didn’t really know what went on at Mass, but I went, followed her lead and the lead of others around me, and I really did try to pray, and all went well. The Lord brought me in and in only a few months I was baptized.

I strongly urge you to begin reading the New Testament (usccb.org/nab/bible/index.shtml); worshipping at Mass AND reading the New Testament simultaneously was a very powerful combination for me, and it was through this combination that I came to learn that Jesus died for me, personally, so that I might have eternal life, and I now know the purpose of my life: to serve God by serving people, especially those close to me, like family, co-workers, and all others I encounter on a daily basis.

Don’t worry about what to wear, etc., at Mass. Everyone, at least in the USA and Canada (the places I’ve been) are cool about what you do and how you look at Mass. And you don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend or anyone to accompany you but, if you know someone with whom you can worship, it might be helpful for you.

Please know that I’m praying for you! 🙂
 
**When you at the Holy Mass you will be as close to Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, the one True God as any human can be this side of Heaven!

Jesus loves you and He cannot wait for you to come to Mass and to share in His Lovew as completely as we can in this life!**

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus! (Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners!)

mark
 
God bless you even more. Pray that the Holy Spirit be with you at all times.

I suggest you go directly to the priest and confide with him that you wanted to attend the Mass for the first time.

Prayers for you… and welcome Home!
 
xBelle said:
Every day I pass a huge Catholic church, and every day I think, “Ok, next Sunday, I’m attending their Mass.” Needless to say that this has yet to happen, primarily out of how nervous I am. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. Maybe because I’ve been portrayed as the liberal, non-religious girl for so long, that I’m afraid of running into former peers? Or maybe it’s because I’m afraid of looking silly when I don’t know when to sit, stand, etc. All I know is that something inside of me is preventing me from attending.

I’ve researched Catholicism for a very long time, including reading books such as Catholicism for Dummies. But I’m just not sure if I should attend Mass or not. And if I do, what should I do? Should I participate with the church, or just remain sitting the entire time? Should I bring anything like a hymn book? How should I dress?
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If only these questions were more frequent! Welcome! 😃 You remind me of a certain person (though older) who also came with the simple question of attending a mass and is currently a catechumen (Catholic-in-training basically).

Please DO attend, you’re certainly invited. 👍 Whether it’s a weekday mass or the Sunday mass, just forget that fear and go. The weekday mass generally has a lot less people, so go to the one you think you’d be most comfortable in.

Don’t let fear keep you away! Our Lord says “do not fear” 365 times in the bible. Just do it. Don’t worry about your peers! It wouldn’t be very Christian of them to make fun of you for trying to get closer to God (shame on them if they did) :mad: .

Is Catholicism for dummies interesting? I heard good stuff about it. Oh and another quick question: do you know if you were baptized Catholic (or at all?)

-Dress code: dress modestly, and not like you fell out of the closet. (gotta show respect to the Creator)
-Stuff to take: yourself, just get IN there. 😛 Hymn books can come later, but you should actually experience a mass first.
-Participation: just imitate what people do, try to follow along as best you can, don’t be ashamed (it’s your first time!), don’t freak out if someone tries to hold your hand for a prayer. Just don’t get in line for the Eucharist near the end of the mass (that’ll come later).

Extra hints: talk to the parish priest sometime if you can and let him know you’re new. Hopefully he’ll be able to help you a lot more then. 😃

Just go and let us know how it goes. You’ll be fine, you’ll be in the house of the Lord. Sorry for the rant.

God bless you, Belle! I’ll be praying for you. 🙂
 
Here is a great website that breaks down the order of the Mass and a great explaination of why. There is a link to a more in depth explanation at the top of the page.

As far as clothing… my own personal rule… nothing shorter than a few inches above the knee and no exposed shoulders. Pants are alright (though I prefer skirts). Just as a suggestion, but nothing that’s going to take your attention away from what’s happening at the altar. I won’t wear anything that I have to constantly adjust.

As far as being “the liberal, non-religious girl”, that was me at one point in time… actually about 3 years ago. If your peers have a problem with your change, then they’re not friends… if they’re accepting, and even better, genuinely curious, maybe you’re the instrument into bringing them into the Church! Honestly, though, I’ve had to deep 6 most of the people that I used to call friends. Most of them are still very interested in the things we all were as teenagers (we’re mostly 23-25 years of age right now). In fact, the only person I am still friends with is a revert to Catholicism.

Catholicism for Dummies is a great, orthodox read about Catholicism. If you have a pretty good knowledge of the bible, I’d recommend checking out Scripture Catholic. The site lays out the scriptural backing of our faith. Also, check out the Faith Tracts here on Catholic Answers for a good basis.

One last thing… I hope you like learning! The Church is 2000 years old, and therefore there is 2000 years worth of history, theology, and music to study! I am an afictiondo of all three subjects, and I can’t tell you of my excitment that I have a whole lifetime to delve into all of those topics! May God richly bless you on your journey!

E
 
Wow! Thank you so much for all the wonderful and helpful responses! I really appreciate it a lot <3.

kristanl: I live in San Diego :). Thank you for the info and advice!

Mel Stones: I dress pretty modestly for the most part :). I do wear more tanks and stuff during the summer, but nothing overly-revealing. And I would NEVER dress that way to church. Yeah, I’ve been told talking to the Priest about wanting to become Catholic is a good step, and can help me decide if I should go through RCIA or not (which I totally want to).

catholicindecia: Thanks for the link and tip! I’m actually reading the New Testament now because I’m going to be taking an Intro to the New Testament course in college. And I’ve asked my boyfriend to attend with me, and he said he’d be more than happy to for me! He’s actually Agnostic, but was baptized Catholic (which I took as another sign from God that Catholicism is what’s right for me).

**Mark77 and geekborj: **Thank you :D! God bless both of you. <3

**kristanl: **Thanks for the link! I’ve saved it in my favorites! Very useful :).

Liraco: You are so sweet :)! Thank you SO much! And Catholicism for Dummies is very easy to read, has a lot of information, and I adore it :D! It’s a very useful book. And I was never baptized under any religion.

datingtrappists: Thanks for the link! I’ve saved it in my favorites :). And you’re absolutely right about my friends. I think most of them just need time to adjust to it. And I’m still that “liberal” girl… I’m just no longer that “liberal, non-religious girl,” hehe. And I think they don’t think the two can exist. And thanks for the book recommendations! I’ll be sure to check them out!

Thanks again, everyone <3. God bless!
 
Well it’s quite sweet of him to be coming along with you. 😃 So not only are you trying to get in the Church but you’re taking him back with you! Awesome. 👍

Thanks for letting us know about the BF, I’ll add him to my prayers.

I guess all I can add as a “resource” would be the searchable Catechism of the Catholic Church (search bar always at the bottom of the page).

Do keep us posted if you can, and feel free to ask here about any questions that pop up! 😃
 
Liraco said:
Well it’s quite sweet of him to be coming along with you. 😃 So not only are you trying to get in the Church but you’re taking him back with you! Awesome. 👍

Thanks for letting us know about the BF, I’ll add him to my prayers.

I guess all I can add as a “resource” would be the searchable Catechism of the Catholic Church (search bar always at the bottom of the page).

Do keep us posted if you can, and feel free to ask here about any questions that pop up! 😃
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He was actually called into work this morning, so he wasn’t able to attend with me :(. That made me SUPER nervous, and I honestly almost didn’t go. Man, am I glad that I did! I kept walking past the church and looking to see who was going in, and I eventually followed this elderly man going in. I walked in, and the church was absolutely beautiful. But my nerves for going off like crazy because I was so nervous about being there by myself.

But, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be! Actually, it wasn’t bad at ALL! The service was wonderful, and I honestly felt the presence of Our Lord in the room with us. It was a very powerful expierience. And it made me feel better when I saw other people come in by themselves. It made me feel less alone knowing I wasn’t the only one attending alone.

I wore a floral skirt with a pink top, and honestly, I was one of the most properly dressed people there! Everyone was dressed very casually, which made me less uncomfortable as well.

At the end when it came to receiving the Eucharist, I saw a few people leave during that point, so I decided to leave as well. I’m not sure if it was right or wrong, but since I saw others leaving that couldn’t participate, I took that as my sign to leave as well.

I’m SOO glad that I went! For such a long time I’ve been putting it off because I was afraid to go on my own. But now I know that not only can I go, but that I can go alone if needed! I’m going to try and get my boyfriend to come along as well :).

And guess what?? I forgot to mention this, but a while back when I was contemplating going through RCIA, one of the teachers at my former high school that I was very close to is actually one of the RCIA leaders at this church!! Crazy, right??

I called the church inquiring about RCIA. Nobody picked up, but I left a message and am eager to hear back from them.

And now I know that Mass will be and must be a regular thing for me. I felt so wonderful and peaceful walking out of there.

<3
 
xBelle said:
He was actually called into work this morning, so he wasn’t able to attend with me :(. That made me SUPER nervous, and I honestly almost didn’t go. Man, am I glad that I did! I kept walking past the church and looking to see who was going in, and I eventually followed this elderly man going in. I walked in, and the church was absolutely beautiful. But my nerves for going off like crazy because I was so nervous about being there by myself.

But, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be! Actually, it wasn’t bad at ALL! The service was wonderful, and I honestly felt the presence of Our Lord in the room with us. It was a very powerful expierience. And it made me feel better when I saw other people come in by themselves. It made me feel less alone knowing I wasn’t the only one attending alone.

I wore a floral skirt with a pink top, and honestly, I was one of the most properly dressed people there! Everyone was dressed very casually, which made me less uncomfortable as well.

At the end when it came to receiving the Eucharist, I saw a few people leave during that point, so I decided to leave as well. I’m not sure if it was right or wrong, but since I saw others leaving that couldn’t participate, I took that as my sign to leave as well.

I’m SOO glad that I went! For such a long time I’ve been putting it off because I was afraid to go on my own. But now I know that not only can I go, but that I can go alone if needed! I’m going to try and get my boyfriend to come along as well :).

And guess what?? I forgot to mention this, but a while back when I was contemplating going through RCIA, one of the teachers at my former high school that I was very close to is actually one of the RCIA leaders at this church!! Crazy, right??

I called the church inquiring about RCIA. Nobody picked up, but I left a message and am eager to hear back from them.

And now I know that Mass will be and must be a regular thing for me. I felt so wonderful and peaceful walking out of there.

<3
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I am so glad that you had such a blessed and prayerful experience at your first Mass! I remember my nerves the first time I attended one by myself (that wasn’t either a Requiem or a Nuptual [funeral or wedding] Mass), and like you, I almost backed out! But God really poured out His graces on me, and you, and… long story short, I was confirmed Pentecost (May 11th) of last year.

This is the right time of year to ask about RCIA, too. Most classes start either August or September, and go on until around Easter time, until people are either baptized and confirmed, or confirmed (if they have already been baptized… and in most cases, baptism in most protestant denominations is valid). It may seem like such a long time of preparation, but like I said in my last post… there is over 2000 years of church history, music, and theology to be studied, and the several months that RCIA is held barely scratches the surface. I was really serious when I said that I hope you liked to learn… 😉 😃

As far as leaving early… the term that I’ve heard most for people who leave right after receiving the Eucharist is “eating and running”. It is actually considered rude to leave right after the Eucharist, much like it would be considered rude if you were invited to a party and you left right after dinner. Don’t be hard on yourself, since you didn’t know (and I didn’t at first, either, and I think I did the same thing). You may stay for the whole Mass, until the priest says something to the effect, “The Mass has ended, go in peace,” and the congregation says “Thanks be to God”. Although, as a musician, I say the Mass hasn’t ended until the final song is over 😉 😛 :D. That is a joke, too.

As far as being “overdressed”… Until I go to the Extraordinary Form (the one that is like before Vatican II), I usually in the minority as far as wearing skirts… or wearing something other than jeans and a tee (at least at the parish I go to) even. I don’t think that really reflects on the individual people… but as society as a whole. I recently went to court with a friend as support, and I was shocked and surprised by how many jeans and tees I saw.

With the former high school teacher… nah… not crazy, and probably not a coincidence, either (unless it’s Albert Einstein’s coicidences… “Coincidences are when God chooses to remain anonymous”). Personally, I think that’s really cool! Hopefully this teacher is still teaching RCIA. It’s always nice to have a friendly face around :).
 
xBelle said:
Hey, everyone :). I’m sure you get these sort of questions a LOT, but I thought I’d post it for myself anyways :). I’m 17-years-old (turning 18 in September), and for the last year or two have found myself feeling a very, very strong connection to Catholicism. My dad was a Catholic, but my mother was a Jehova’s Wittness, so I wasn’t really raised with any faith. I was always just told that good people go to Heaven and bad people go to Hell. However, after my dad passed away when I was 10-years-old, I decided that I wanted to join him in Heaven, so started becoming more religious. That lasted for a couple of years, and then I left my faith, primarily because of the hardships I was going through. However, now that I’m a bit older and am discovering more about myself, I’ve noticed that my soul is lacking the proper nourishment. And after researching many different forms of Christianity and other religions, the one that has always felt the most “right”, the most like “home”, has been Catholicism.

Every day I pass a huge Catholic church, and every day I think, “Ok, next Sunday, I’m attending their Mass.” Needless to say that this has yet to happen, primarily out of how nervous I am. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. Maybe because I’ve been portrayed as the liberal, non-religious girl for so long, that I’m afraid of running into former peers? Or maybe it’s because I’m afraid of looking silly when I don’t know when to sit, stand, etc. All I know is that something inside of me is preventing me from attending.

I’ve researched Catholicism for a very long time, including reading books such as Catholicism for Dummies. But I’m just not sure if I should attend Mass or not. And if I do, what should I do? Should I participate with the church, or just remain sitting the entire time? Should I bring anything like a hymn book? How should I dress?

Thanks everyone <3.
God bless!
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First of all, don’t worry! Nobody is going to be looking at you at all - and if someone is making funny faces at you, just extend your hand to shake and say, “Hi, my name is ___; this is my very first time at Catholic Mass. I’m very pleased to meet you.”

Gets 'em every time. 😃

You don’t have to know when to sit, stand, or kneel your very first time, so don’t put any pressure on yourself in that regard. You can choose to sit through the entire thing and simply observe. (If you want them to really not bug you, you can kneel through the whole thing - everyone will assume that your parents have just died, and they will give you all kinds of space.)

You will also notice that the entire congregation seems to have all of the responses memorized - that’s because most of them do. My best advice for you is to just listen and let the whole thing flow over you.

Someone will recommend that you follow along in the Missal in order to “fit in” - and the first thing you will notice about the Missal is that the parts of the Mass are not actually listed in order; you will be flipping to page 32, and then to page 106, and then to page 95, and then to page 64, etc. and always arriving at the page two seconds after the rest of the congregation is done with it and on to the next thing - so, don’t bother with that. Instead, take a copy of the Missal home with you (ask the priest for one that you can borrow) and read it at your leisure with a hot cup of tea and something nice playing on the CD player. Meanwhile, simply enjoy your first Mass by listening to the prayers and letting the whole thing just flow over and through you, like a beautiful prayer. 🙂

Over time, the more you hear the Mass, the more it will become embedded in your bones, and the more you come, the more you will notice yourself joining in with the responses, beginning with the simpler ones, and later, you will have them all memorized, just from absorbing them while listening at Mass, and from reading through the Missal outside of Mass time. 👍
 
xBelle said:
He was actually called into work this morning, so he wasn’t able to attend with me. Man, am I glad that I did! I kept walking past the church and looking to see who was going in, and I eventually followed this elderly man going in. I walked in, and the church was absolutely beautiful.

The service was wonderful, and I honestly felt the presence of Our Lord in the room with us. It was a very powerful expierience.

At the end when it came to receiving the Eucharist, I saw a few people leave during that point, so I decided to leave as well. I’m not sure if it was right or wrong, but since I saw others leaving that couldn’t participate, I took that as my sign to leave as well.

And guess what?? I forgot to mention this, but a while back when I was contemplating going through RCIA, one of the teachers at my former high school that I was very close to is actually one of the RCIA leaders at this church!! Crazy, right??

And now I know that Mass will be and must be a regular thing for me. I felt so wonderful and peaceful walking out of there.
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I guess it’s a good thing you had to go alone so that you didn’t have any distractions and could focus on the mass alone. 😉 Congratulations on finally making it in, glad you liked it. 👍

So you actually know someone in the Church, that’s nice (now you don’t have to be as nervous cuz they’re not ALL strangers).

Speaking of nervous, this one time I decided to pray a rosary after mass and they tend to close the Church in the mornings (I just didn’t know how soon) so I was all alone inside a closed Church. :eek: I was really nervous of ending up locked in, despite being told that the front door wasn’t locked so I could leave when I was done (but there’s also a gate outside that could have ended up locked). Still, I continued and finished the rosary. It’s somewhat intimidating to have the whole Church to yourself.

As for leaving, I guess we DID say to imitate the people there. Silly me! 😊 Do try to stay until the very end next time to get the entire mass. 😃

During communion, you’ll likely see most of the people who went to receive going back to their pews and kneeling for a while. They’re giving thanks to the Lord and you could take that time to do the same (and you could also ask for His graces to help you grow closer to Him even if you can’t receive Him in the Eucharist just yet). 🙂

I’ll keep praying for you. God bless!
 
Also, it would be a great thing if you would like to make a Spiritual Communion. Basically, it is a prayer, stating that you believe that Jesus is present, body, blood, soul and divinity in the Eucharist, and that until you can receive Him physically, you would like to receive Him spiritually in your heart.

***My Jesus,
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.

Amen.***

The above is probably my favorite Spiritual Communion prayer. Though it can be prayed anywhere (and I do, frequently), there is something really special about praying it in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
 
xBelle said:
Wow! Thank you so much for all the wonderful and helpful responses! I really appreciate it a lot <3.

kristanl: I live in San Diego :). Thank you for the info and advice!
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I came into the Church in San Diego at the Immaculata at the University of San Diego. My husband was stationed there when we got married. A year later, I joined the RCIA and came into the Catholic Church 2 days before we were transfered to the east coast. Boy do I miss that church even today! BTW, I got what I call the grandslam: Baptism, Confirmation, and 1st Communion. I was 25 at the time. So, don’t feel bad about not being baptized before. You are not the first to have to find your way. In fact, this past Easter Vigil, I was a sponsor for 2 teenagers of a friend of mine who were coming into the church. They had a 72 year old gentleman who was joining the Church. He had never been baptized! 😃
 
Welcome xbelle to the faith my prayers will be with you I am a convert myself and since i was raised inthe pentecostal church of god of prophecy i can certainly relate to you being nervous about attending mass for the first time sign up for rcia to learn about the faith and please do not worry about learning everything at once there will be plenty of time to learn what you need to know about becoming Catholic so hang in there and keep the faith
 
Glad to hear that the Lord is calling you home to His Church! God bless you on your spiritual journey!
 
Thank God you are with us, and may God continue bless you on your journey home. I only have one thing to add to the previous posts, which were all very good. One thing that wasn’t mentioned–and indeed I had not known this until recently–is that during communion you can get in line to approach the altar even if you cannot receive the Eucharist, but you can receive a blessing. Simply cross your hands over your heart and bow, and the priest or EME will bless you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (I am a convert to Catholicism, and for the 28 years I have been Catholic I did not know this!) Doing this will eliminate the awkwardness that sometimes happens when people who for whatever reason cannot receive communion are kneeling in the pews and others step around them, and it may help you feel more a part of the Church as you pursue full Communion. Peace be with you.
 
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