Attending Mass while Hating the church?

[mustangbluegirl]

To make a VERY long story QUITE short.
My father and fiance told me they were seeking to join the catholic faith. They asked questions. I gave them a catechism, pointed them to other resources as well. Everything seemed wonderful. They were coming into the church! They enrolled in RCIA, my father is getting his previous marriage anulled, etc.
They attend mass every sunday.
Then I find out that Fiance does not believe in sin, therefore she does not believe in confession or that our sins even matter. I point her towards scripture and catechism to which she goes nuts and refuses to listen to me because I am not god, etc.
NOW she has stated it doesn’t matter, she is not catholic, doesn’t LIKE the catholic church, does not WISH to be catholic, etc. They pretty much go through all the motions because it is a Native American Catholic church and the whole native american thing is “neat”.
I am speechless at this point. There are some obvious sins here… but can you really just go to mass and detest all that it stands for? I am afraid they could be receiving communion (as I know that they have in the past w/out being baptised) but guess there is no sin in attending even though they “hate” the church.
Any (name removed by moderator)ut or advice?
Apologetics does no good as fiance has refused to “listen to anyone but god”. She will read no literature, will read no scriptures (she “can read the bible herself”) and will not listen to me (because I know nothing and am “judging” (NEVER said anything to her other than try to instruct in church doctrine))
HELP!

 

[EsclavoDeCristo]

Pray, first of all.

Second of all, sit down and try to have a civilized conversation. You cannot resolve anything if you BOTH won’t sit down and listen to the other. You must be cool, calm and collected. Once that is established, talk openly with each other. Allow her to speak and voice her opinions/concerns.

Thirdly, I would definately consider putting the brakes on the engagement if you are at all serious about your faith. Could you honestly raise a family under these conditions?

 

[Della]

It sounds to me too that the finacee is hiding sins she doesn’t want to confess. Perhaps she has fears of going to confession. A lot of people do–many good Catholics do, even though they know better. You know, when people are on the verge of becoming Catholic they often go through a time of grave doubt due to some fear they have that they won’t/can’t articulate. Really, she should talk to the priest about her doubts and questions, not you. She sees you as her fiance’s daughter not as a knowledgable Catholic–it’s the prophet is without honor among his own family thing going on there. Don’t take it personally, but do suggest that if she can’t talk to you about her misgivings she should talk to the priest who will be very happy to help her and won’t sit in judgment of her–he’s heard it all before.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

I’d hate to say it, but this could be a lonely marriage for you if your faith is important to you, but not your spouse. There will be conflicts with mass times that won’t be regarded and in reality, it is best when a couple an grow together in Christ.

I do know couples who got married and stayed married when one either wasn’t Catholic or was a lapsed Catholic and it worked out. But it could put a strain on your marriage if one values worship and the other doesn’t.

At the very least, you have to have an agreement from her that she will not intefere with your Catholic obligations of Sunday Mass and raising your children as Catholic.

 

[mustangbluegirl]

No… sorry.
This is my Father and HIS fiance.
I am already married.

Have tried to have civilized conversations. Was easy at first as his fiance was attending a Catholic University and even had some theology classes. All of the sudden She has thrown up a wall and it went from intelligent conversation to Her just sticking her fingers in her ear and yelling that she won’t listen (figuratively speaking)

AND she keeps saying “her priest says”
I don’t know what her conversations have been with her priest. I had considered calling him but my husband wants me to drop it and stay out of it.

 

[Shiann]

I agree with your husband.

Unless she asks you specific questions, I would stay out of it… (and even if she did ask questions, I would see if she would seek counsel with a priest.)

But I would offer MANY prayers for your father’s fiance, and your Father. He will need a lot of support as they tackle this Faith issue.

Bless you for your concern! But I would step back, and allow God and the Holy Spirit to work here. Be a good and gracious example of the Catholic Faith, and hope that the example softens her heart.