Attending non-catholic mass

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NickyCW

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I am a convert to the faith, and my entire family is evangelic Christian. It has always been tradition that when my extended family gets together for holidays, we go to church together. This was never a problem until my conversion. Now, every time we get together, I am pressured that I will break grandma’s heart if I go to mass rather than going to church with my family.

The last two years, our schedules have just worked out that my husband and I (and our 3 children) could not attend my extended family’s gathering over Christmas. I recently received an email from my uncle stating that they have planned 2005’s gathering in advance so that we have enough time to plan and avoid any conflicts (which I appreciate). It was also noted that “it is the hope that everyone will attend Christmas Eve services together as a family.”

What is the most charitable and the right thing to do in this situation? Thank you for your help.
 
Well, Nicky, you can go to Christmas Eve services with your family, and then go to Christmas Day MASS to fulfill your obligation.

Just don’t go to Communion at the other service (if this is a Lutheran, Episcopal, or other church which is offering communion at its service). They aren’t in communion with Rome, it’s not the Real Presence.

Provided you go to Mass on Christmas Day, you’re Ok. And you’re in luck–Christmas Eve this year is a Saturday, and Christmas Day is a Sunday–there are bound to be early Sunday a.m. services, and you’ll still be home in good time to open presents etc. esp. if the other service is a late one and people would be sleeping later. You yourself won’t get much sleep but you can nap the day before or nap later in the day on Christmas after Mass.

God bless you.
 
I respectfully suggest that you attend the “family” Christmas Eve service, then attend Mass either on Christmas Eve or Christmas.
I suggest this, though, under the assumption that your attendance at this evangelical service will not threaten your faith.

Additionally, the word “Mass” generally only applies to the Holy Sacrifice of the (Latin) Catholic Church. A few Protestant denominations may claim the word “Mass” but I would guess that the one that you are referring to would not.

Merry Christmas! 🙂
 
I feel for you! My son and I are Catholic and my husband and his twins sons are Baptist! Although, my in-laws and husband know that we will not miss Mass!

What about going to a vigil Mass and then attending your family’s other church services? I do this with my husband. Like for Easter in the past, my son and I go to the vigil Mass and then Sunday morning, we can go with my husband (as a family) to his services.

There’s nothing in church law that says you cannot attend another demonination’s services - just that you must not miss Mass. Go to Mass at a time that does not interfere with the other services.

Good Luck!
 
Why not just go with your family to their service and then go to Midnight Mass? I doubt there will be any scheduling conflicts there.
 
I’ve been in a similar circumstance. I attended a Congregational service on Christmas morning after attending the Midnight Mass. Throughout the Congregational service I prayed privately to Jesus and continued to profess my Catholic faith silently to Him while concurrently acknowledging that the service I was attending was symbolic and I was not in communion with the congregation. Often during the silent prayer I would beg Him to keep my attention on the true faith. So to me … the entire service was just keeping a social obligation.
 
Nicky,

I’m sorry that you’ve been put in this difficult situation! But I will simply echo what others have already said: find another time to go to Mass. You can still go to their service, but it can be viewed as a social obligation that you are fulfilling, an activity that your family is doing together. Going to their service does not, however, fulfill your obligation as a Catholic to attend Mass. And, as someone else has already said, do NOT participate in the communion at the service if they have one.

Best wishes to you.
 
How often have these Christians who want you to attend their service gone to the Mass with you?

John
 
Well, I’m in line with those who say you could go to both services. I agree you shouldn’t take communion at the Evangelical services, but there’s nothing wrong about going. Then, go to the mass. It’ll give you a chance to pick out differences, and give your family a chance to have discussion and dialogue with you over the differences in the faiths.
 
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NickyCW:
I am a convert to the faith, and my entire family is evangelic Christian. It has always been tradition that when my extended family gets together for holidays, we go to church together. This was never a problem until my conversion. Now, every time we get together, I am pressured that I will break grandma’s heart if I go to mass rather than going to church with my family.

The last two years, our schedules have just worked out that my husband and I (and our 3 children) could not attend my extended family’s gathering over Christmas. I recently received an email from my uncle stating that they have planned 2005’s gathering in advance so that we have enough time to plan and avoid any conflicts (which I appreciate). It was also noted that “it is the hope that everyone will attend Christmas Eve services together as a family.”

What is the most charitable and the right thing to do in this situation? Thank you for your help.
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First I want to note that the Evangelical service is not a mass. The mass is the eternal sacrifice of the cross. The only ones - there may be a few others - that can call it a mass are the Catholics, the Orthodox, the Anglicans, and maybe the Lutherans.

For your problem, I would say maybe you could go to the Evenagelical service with your family on the eve of Christmas, and on Christmas day go to The Mass.
 
I would go and take my Catholic Bible with me, especially since mine says that’s what it is, pretty prominantly, and also wear my “who started your church?” shirt. Seriously, I really wouldn’t wear the shirt, but I would go out of respect for your family. Always respect them as people, since they believe they are right, but stand for the truth.
I always make it a point to invite my family who is separated from the Church when I am visiting them to Mass.
 
Nicky,
Do you know of any anti-catholic teachings that they teach at this church?

John
 
John brings up a good point. Is this church anti-Catholic? If it were just you, and you were well grounded, but what about your kids?

I can’t imagine a church that would have a negative message on Christmas, but how well do you know this pastor and church?

Otherwise, I’m with everyone else, go with them, and then go to Midnight Mass or Christmas morning. Invite them to go with you too!

Your small note about breaking grandma’s heart makes me think that this is just a way to bring you around to the “truth”. I still think you should go to both (or just Mass if unable to do both), but you may consider asking why grandma’s heart would be broken for worshipping Christ as you have been called by God to do.

God Bless,
Maria
 
They are testing you. Attending their service AND going to Mass would illustrate a few points:
Code: 
        reaffirm your conversion to them

        Illustrate the difference in the need to attend a Mass versus a "service" in general.  Many of my prot friends don't see the absoluteness/command to keep holy the Sabbath - with any service, much less Mass.  When travelling on Sunday out of town, they don't see the need to find a "service" on the road like we Catholics search out a Church for Mass.

        Be sure to emphasis your desire to partake in the Eurcharist on the second most important day of the Catholic Year.
Good Luck.
Dano,

P.S. I admire the fortitude of all converts! I can’t begin to understand how difficult it is to deal with family and friends
 
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Genesis315:
Why not just go with your family to their service and then go to Midnight Mass? I doubt there will be any scheduling conflicts there.
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Hey, I’d say - invite them to midnight mass after they go to their service. It’s bound to rock their world.
😉
–Ann
 
Thank you all for the insight. While my kids are still young, I am worried about setting the precendence for years to come that we will continue to go to their services. I think this would be confusing to my kids. My husband has the same humor as many of you about announcing our Catholic beliefs if we attend, and invite them to midnight mass. I really do not know the beliefs of the pastor where we would be attending, but I do know that many of my family members have many anti-catholic beliefs. I don’t know if my grandma has changed her mind about my ability to end up in heaven as a catholic…

Good discussion - thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
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john654:
How often have these Christians who want you to attend their service gone to the Mass with you?
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I was thinking along the same lines. Go with them to their service, but also invite them to Mass.
 
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NickyCW:
I am a convert to the faith, and my entire family is evangelic Christian. It has always been tradition that when my extended family gets together for holidays, we go to church together. This was never a problem until my conversion. Now, every time we get together, I am pressured that I will break grandma’s heart if I go to mass rather than going to church with my family.

The last two years, our schedules have just worked out that my husband and I (and our 3 children) could not attend my extended family’s gathering over Christmas. I recently received an email from my uncle stating that they have planned 2005’s gathering in advance so that we have enough time to plan and avoid any conflicts (which I appreciate). It was also noted that “it is the hope that everyone will attend Christmas Eve services together as a family.”

What is the most charitable and the right thing to do in this situation? Thank you for your help.
Click to expand...
No problem. You can attend their services as long as you also attend Mass on Christmas eve or Christmas day.
 
I face this problem all the time… I am on the road to entering the Catholic Church and the rest of my family are Evangelical Christians. There have probably only been 1 or 2 occassions since I began attending mass 2 years ago when I have gone back to my family’s church. I haven’t gone for Christmas or Easter services.

For me, it’s just way too frustrating. I can’t stand the mega-church mentality, and i know my family would be very hurt if I refused to take part in communion. In the meantime, only one of my family members has ever gone to mass with me so I figure if they won’t go where I go, why should I go back to what I know is a lie. This is the church that trained me in high school to go on a “missions trip” to Puerto Rico to convert Catholics. How terrible is that?

Sometimes I feel guilty about this, especially when I know my folks would like to “show me off” to their friends when I’m in town, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. The thought of going back to an evangelical church does not put me in a good mood!
 
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