Attending Wifes Church

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My wife and I were married in the Catholic Church. Our children were baptized Catholic. About 4 years ago (before my children were confirmed), my wife left the Catholic church and I agreed to let the children try another church with her. They are now fully engaged in an evangelical church. I’ve continued to attend Mass by myself. This has cause a major problem in our marriage. My wife attacks me and the Catholic church. She says that she is done attacking me and would like me to attend her Evangelical church in addition to attending Mass. She believes that I am selfish and deserting my family. That God wants us to worship together. She is very devoted to God now and the children had thrived spiritually as well. I realize that I made a BIG mistake in letting her take the children away from the Catholic church.
Should I attend her church as well? I realize that I must go to confession for abandoning my promise to raise our children Catholic. Has anyone else been through a similiar experience?
Thank you.
 
God bless you for trying to follow the Church. There is nothing wrong with attending services with your wife and children, so long as you also attend Sunday Mass. If you do attend, remember that you may not receive bread or wine/grape juice at a non-Catholic communion service.

I would suggest perhaps asking your wife that, if she wants so badly for you to go to church with her, you would like her to go to Mass with you as well. It seems fair to me.
 
That’s sad.

It’s too bad your wife decided to divide the family like that.

And I agree with Dr. Colossus, it’s only fair that if she ask that you attend her Church that she attend yours.

Why did she leave the Church in the first place?
 
if she wants so badly for you to go to church with her, you would like her to go to Mass with you as well. It seems fair to me.
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AND THE CHILDREN TOO. I second, third, fourth, infinity plus Dr. Colossus’s suggestion. Much as I loathe the idea of “two” services, in this case, the original mistake was in letting the children go to the evangelical church in the first place. They were baptized Catholics, they ARE Catholics, and if they continue going there alone they will be schismatic Catholics.

God bless you and your family. You and they have been added to this month’s Divine Mercy perpetual Novena. With God, all things are possible!
 
I wuold seek the advice of Jeff Cavins, or one of our formerly Protestant Ministers turned Catholic, for ways to encourage your wife to return home to the Catholic Church. If you do a google search on his name you will be able to find some reading sources for just this situation. I think people that have been through it will be able to give the best advice.

I would continue to attend Mass, and also try to talk to your priest. Your situation is happening in my neighborhood a lot. The women get involved in Bible studies at an Evangelical Church and then they enroll the children in Thursday night activities, and then slowly but surely everyone feels more a part of the other church. Much of this happens before the full time working dad even realizes it. My parish has lost about 10 families in the past two years that I am aware of.

I will say a prayer for you to be able to get through this trying situation.
 
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Fitz:
The women get involved in Bible studies at an Evangelical Church and then they enroll the children in Thursday night activities, and then slowly but surely everyone feels more a part of the other church.
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So I guess a pretty big question is: Why are there not more Bible studies at Catholic Churches?!

I suspect it has something to do with us expecting that the priest should initiate everything in the parish.

I ask all the former Protestants who have returned to the Church to be the leaders in initiating Bible studies in your parishes. I ask all the long time Catholics to shake off the sleeping dust of “Father will take care of it” and become active in initiating the programs that your Church needs.

This is a shame!
 
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bengeorge:
So I guess a pretty big question is: Why are there not more Bible studies at Catholic Churches?!

I suspect it has something to do with us expecting that the priest should initiate everything in the parish.

I ask all the former Protestants who have returned to the Church to be the leaders in initiating Bible studies in your parishes. I ask all the long time Catholics to shake off the sleeping dust of “Father will take care of it” and become active in initiating the programs that your Church needs.

This is a shame!
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My church has 3 bible studies and I am in one of them. The thing is, the Evangelicals had it down pat- they have many women that are involved, they have free child care during bible studies, they have preschool going on at the same time, and they have all the luncheons at the beginning of each bible study. I went for one session until I figured out it was not a community bible study as they advertised, but really an anti Catholic bible study. I liked the people and they were very warm and nice, but I picked up the anti Catholic vibes and I got out of there.
 
A funny thing about the “Bible believing” Protestants is they always point to Scripture passages; like the husband is the spiritual head of the household, but then turn around and target the wives and children for Bible study.

It seems to me, that if these Protestants really follow the Bible, they should ask these wives and children if their husband/father has agreed to their attending.
 
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JimmyV:
A funny thing about the “Bible believing” Protestants is they always point to Scripture passages; like the husband is the spiritual head of the household, but then turn around and target the wives and children for Bible study.

It seems to me, that if these Protestants really follow the Bible, they should ask these wives and children if their husband/father has agreed to their attending.
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I tend to agree, but I think that in the beginning people are just feeling like ecumenical when they attend these nice bible studies. I do believe Catholics are targeted by these groups.
 
I would purchase and then ask her to watch or listen to either the Scott Hahn Conversion Story on Video or CD. You can get them here:
saintjoe.com/p/product_search.pl?keywords=scott+hahn+conversion&topic=none

They are the first two products posted on the page.

I listened to this and it is great. It is this man’s story of how he went from being a committed Protestant preacher and Bible scholar to a Catholic because he saw that the RCC is the true faith. The good thing is that he backs this up scripturally.
 
By the way, as you probably already know, anti-Catholicism is rampant in Protestant churches. Your wife and kids are probably getting a hefty dose of it. I would say that perhaps you could offer that the two of you investigate some of the anti-Catholic statements together. Are they true, or some big misunderstandings by Protestants over the years? A person should check it out for themselves before accepting things hook, line, and sinker.
 
JimmyV is correct. Protestant “Bible believing” churches, particularly evangelical (as opposed to mainline) have also seemed to me to interpret the scripture to fit their needs. If they followed Ephesians Ch.5, the evangelical pastor would ask the wife if it was okay with her husband that she attended his church…but then, of course, the answer might be “no” and the pastor would lose a member and a tithe. In my limited experience, I’ve never seen an evangelical pastor let something like the Bible get in the way of church membership or church revenues.

My wife is non-Catholic and so far, refuses to attend Mass with me…she has a problem with Mary, statues, and calling priests “father”…but we get along and love each other dearly…hey, I’m working on it (together with the Holy Spirit through prayer).

I used to attend her evangelical church with her on occasion…but then the pastor pressured me to join. He even visited my job site to pressure me…and we have a “no soliciting” sign on the door! He invited himself in to my office.

**My advice: Do not attend your wife’s church, period. **
You give her pastor an inch, and he’ll take a mile. Plus, it’s probably too much compromise on your part.

** Pray for your wife’s soul and the soul of her pastor, but don’t budge. Be a good husband…read Ep. 5 with your wife. Live your faith, and your wife will at least respect you for it, over time. Believe me, I know from experience.**
 
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dnewbern:
I used to attend her evangelical church with her on occasion…but then the pastor pressured me to join. He even visited my job site to pressure me…and we have a “no soliciting” sign on the door! He invited himself in to my office.
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Hm. When was the last time you heard of a Catholic priest turning the tables, coming to your home to speak personally with your wife – maybe not to pressure but to show the same level of commitment and care for souls . . . ?
 
Mercygate,

**It would have been very different if the pastor had merely visited to show concern or care of souls. That’s his ministery. I respect a pastor’s ministery. **

It is very different, in my case, when the pastor invited himself in to my office and asked me to join his church. That’s unwelcome pressure. Whate made it worse is that he said that he knew that I was Catholic, as though I had a problem that he could solve.
 
Thanks again for everyones advice and support. I really appreciate it.
 
Certainly–and, I don’t mean to sound at all bitter. I’ve just seen first hand that some times it’s best NOT to compromise and attend your spouse’s church. I know that when I last attended my wife’s church, the pastor visited me the very next day and pressured me to join. I had the clear impression that if I gave him an inch by attending his church once or twice, he would take a mile and pressure me to join…I did not like that.

And, if I had not known the foundations and history of my Catholic faith, I may have been seduced into joining.

I learned a long time ago that the Catholic church is the church that Christ founded at Ceaserea-Phillippi, and that not all churches are equal. Without this knowledge, I may have been seduced into joining the protestant church. After all, the pastor is so nice , and the people at his church are so sweet, and they sing so well, etc. etc…
 
I had an evangelical minister tell me his story. Seems he was advising one of his flock that she was “unevenly yoked” to her “non-believer” husband. He convinced her to get a divorce. Being the “caring person” that he was he noticed that the poor woman and her four children needed a home and father figure, so he married the atractive woman fifteen years younger than himself. Satan does well in the evangelical church.

When it comes to religion, the evangelicals only respect one thing and that is scriptural verses. They abuse scripture for their own means but scriptural verses is what they go by. They have a weak spot though. They focus on their misconception of St. Paul’s writings “faith alone, not works” to the exclusion of Jesus teachings to obey the commandments and feed the poor to enter into life. This is where, I believe, you are going to have to hit them. Please visit Jesus, What Must I Do To Share In Everlasting Life? for some ideas. I would brush up on Jesus’ teaching and go into that evangelical bible study, hit them hard and get your family out of there.
 
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