Avoiding controversy

[JoyToTheWhirled]

When I was Protestant, I was really quite opinionatedly argumentative. I kept a polemical blog and laid into things I disagreed with quite regularly.
For some years, partly due to some mental health problems, I have shied away from controversy because I found it too upsetting. Since taking steps toward Catholicism I find I still can’t abide controversy, but also that I can’t avoid it. LGBT issues, divorce and remarriage, the Pope, not to mention the actual divide between Protestants and Catholics in the first place. It all builds up to fever pitch and I really don’t like it.
My heart’s focus is Christ, specifically in the Eucharist, and living out His love to others. That is really what I want to be all about, but I am wondering if that is something of a cop out, and there is a responsibility to address controversial issues. I guess I’m wondering if I am being cowardly by not wanting to engage in the diverse range of controversies?

 

[FollowChrist34]

I struggle with this too. I believe part of one’s duty is to inform oneself, live and defend the faith. We can’t reduce the faith to ‘being nice.’ Defending the faith can get unpleasant in the world. The world stands opposed to Christ.

But on a human level, particularly within the Church, I think most of us fail to maintain control, charity in these debates. Anger, self-righteousness take over. The desert fathers teach that anger is a temptation to your inner demons - they love it, dance with joy at it. I think you can see that (literally or figuratively) all through these Church debates right now. It is the hierarchy of the Church that is butting heads - the laity are dutifully taking sides. And it is all most unChristian - to my mind both sides are guilty of this in very different ways. Not a good look for the Catholic Church - again I speak to both sides, high and low. I have decided to maintain a position, defend it but try to not to obsess or let the conflict interfere with my efforts to live in Christ in charity and peace. Pulling back helps a lot too. Let God sort it out. I don’t think it is cowardly to take a back seat at all. Even re-evaluate the Church. I mean, is this our idea of being Christians? No thanks.

 

[BenedicamDominum]

I guess I’m wondering if I am being cowardly by not wanting to engage in the diverse range of controversies?

Of course not, you’re being sensible. Ask the questions that are relevant to your conversion. If you have no question, be at peace. And be like Sherlock Holmes: only fill your mind with that knowledge and information which is pertinent to your goal.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I have a friend who is from a big family. They are all cafeteria Catholics who know and follow little of the faith although they are Catholic in name. They had a friend over who was saying things and looking like a bit of an arse, to be honest. They all agreed with him.

She did not and quietly left the room. The next week she still felt guilty, she still said she wished she spoken up. However, I asked her what would have come of it. She admitted that he would have likely wiped the floor with her as he was well educated in “X teaching against the Church” and she was not really knowledgeable of why the church teaches what it does.

I told her she did right then. By quietly leaving she was removing herself from a situation that it would have been inappropriate for her to engage in–likely even if she was well versed.

And this is the difference between prostelization and evangelization. Prostelization means that one is always ready, always on one’s toes, always happy to force your viewpoint on another. Evangelization means that you act in God’s grace. There are many times when God calls us not to act, for family harmony, for prudence or because we are simply ignorant.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

My heart’s focus is Christ, specifically in the Eucharist, and living out His love to others. That is really what I want to be all about, but I am wondering if that is something of a cop out

Good, this is where you should live right now. Your predicament is common for people who have a renewal with Christ. You feel like you want to save the world, or you feel like you should be doing more. You only have to do something , you don’t have to do everything . And you are doing something right now, your are growing in intimacy with Christ through the Eucharist, and living out His love to others.

 

[2towers]

By and large, I don’t feel the need to dive in MOST controversies, save a few hot button issues of mine. OSAS and faith and works are the biggies. Even these I don’t automatically “land on” any more. I am snot sure why. Even my stance on the death penalty [which I am against] I have let go. My main reason for arguing these publicly are not so much to convince the person who disagrees with me he are her is wrong, but for others who might be on the fence about the issue.

Maybe it is a phase I am right now. LOL. Either way, what is important is how you feel. There is nothing wrong with sitting out, no matter how long. I am sure if you saw something important enough to comment on, you would. Be at peace!

 

[Katie777]

To engage in controversy and debates with others that will only have a negative outcome for all involved is not a virtue.

 

[Trishie]

You have every right to expect peace, unity, and charity among Catholics.
Christ calls us to live in these virtues

Stress can exacerbate mental and physical pain and can result in ill-health,
difficulty in thinking straight, fatigue, dampened memory.

I say this because I’ve studied effects of stress, but also experienced some of them.
If people around me become too negative, critical, too argumentative, I find it gives an awful feeling in my stomach. I feel I must escape but often courtesy prevents, or one feels one must defend truths of our faith when necessary. When dealing with attitudes where nothing will get through to the other person no matter how much you defend truth, there is a time to withdraw and pray, not continue to exhaust and upset oneself.

Having an autoimmune system with a low intelligence quotient, I begin to become ill, and my lab readings deteriorate. I can handle this less easily than formerly. We get to a point where stress has been too cumulative to bear much of it, perhaps?

I don’t think you’re being cowardly, you are probably feeling the need to protect yourself, and maybe for good reason. If’ you’ve stated the case as clearly as possible and with legitimate sources, repetition may be useless and it’s time to trust to God. Arguments aren’t the best way of convincing people. You state the facts, and they need to convince themselves if at all possible. They may never do so, but that isn’t your fault.

Perhaps you need to be able to rest in quietly in God’s love at least during a period of time each day, if you don’t already?

 

[JoyToTheWhirled]

Thank you all for your encouragement and advice. I guess I can be guilty of feeling that it is my responsibility to right all the wrongs in the world, which isn’t the case. I agree that plenty of time resting in God’s presence is an excellent plan. Time enough today for that, and the sun is out which always makes things seem much better

 

[fisherman_carl]

God grant us Humility for the things we do not know. When you think about it Many religious controversial issues are about things we do not really know and That we take on faith. Praying to the Saints for example. Socrates had the Humility to admit he did not know when others around him claimed to know. They thought they knew, but they really didn’t. At least Socrates knew enough to admit he didn’t know. God is Wisdom. Prudence is living life and making decisions with God in mind.