Awkward: in-laws keep inviting my children to spend the night

[Nordar]

I also don’t think you should get your husband involved, and don’t lie not even little white lies that first of all is a venial sin and will prove nothing, perhaps even make things worse.
What is wrong with telling them “I don’t want them around the smoking, as non smoker I don’t want them exposed” I doubt if they are going to quit just so your children can stay over.
Personally if it were my kids I would just keep saying no and that would be it. You are making the right decision here so you should not put yourself on the defensive,

 

[whatevergirl]

never complain, never explain
just keep repeating, thanks but Suzy won’t be able to sleep over, but Cousin is very welcome to stay with us.

no explanations, no back story, no accusations

just monotonous repeat of your party line, make sure both you and your husband have this response memorized.

I really like this reply the best…no need to explain anything. I used to explain my rationale to well meaning inlaws, friends, etc…and why? I just say no thank you, and leave it at that.

To the poster who talked about the reason being that the kids can’t deal with smoke, then the rebuttal to that could be…oh we won’t smoke when they’re here…bla bla…when reasons are given, then other rebuttals will emerge. I agree with annie. Just a no thanks or I really don’t like the kids to spend nights elsewhere…should be fine.