Back to chuch and confessing for the first time in years

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ongpattersonny

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I went to confession for the first time on the Monday of Holy Week in several years. I also stopped going to church for a period of time until about 2 years ago when I started making my way back. I was so happy to make such a huge step and I was off to a good start for Holy week. My husband who never goes to confession asked me if I did go to confession and if I confessed that I have not been to church for a while. I did not respond as I felt that the confession was something that I did for my own personal needs. I felt as though I was being judged by him as he feels that I have committed the worse sin ever in my life. I was just so happy and elated to make the step that I did as I have been on a faith journey since coming back to church that I decided to take this step and go to confession. It was one of my best experiences as the priest was so kind and patient with me during this time and helped me through the process. He spoke to me and taught the ways of confessing and what I should be thinking about. He also stated that if there was any other time that I felt ready to do another confession to do it with a priest that I would be comfortable with. I just wished that my husband would let go and forgive me but he has not. Jesus has as he welcomed me and I have felt more peace and love in the last two years than I have in such a long time. .
 
I don’t understand; you wat your husband to forgive you for going to confession? Could it be that your action may have led him to consider the same?
 
No, my husband used a tone to make sure that I have confessed that I did stop going to church when I did stop going but I started back a couple of years ago. It just bothers me that he asked this as it seems like he has not forgiven me. Confession to me is a personal step for me to continue my faith journey. I did not respond to his statement. He also feels that he does not need to go to confession since he can just confess to God and go to church on a regular basis.
 
I am so happy for you it coming back to the church, and that you had this experience with what sounds like a wonderful priest. Confession is between you and God (through the priest).

I cannot really relate to your husband’s reaction. I would never ask or expect to be asked that question. No response is the response I would choose, or saying it is for God and I.

Hoping for the best for you.
 
Whatever it is your husband has done something, he must have received grace for you are on the path to heaven. The vocation of marriage is intended for each partner to have a helpmate to find the way through the narrow gate. Be loving and forgiving but do not accept condemnation nor allow him a condescending attitude. This is for his own good.
It is well that you have returned home and Jesus has put our sins as far as the east is from the west so He does not remember you to have fallen away but loves you as deeply as always He did, does and shall, forever. Return that grace you receive in all that you do and your husband will have no choice but to be moved by grace and become holy. Be holy and love with the power of faith. Jesus wants this for all of us.
Congratulations and I pray for you that you will find yourself frequenting Reconciliation. All of the Sacraments are a blessing and a way to holiness. Marriage is a Sacrament with just such grace from God always present even when rarely accepted.
 
Thank you. It just hurts that my husband asked me that. Most of the congregation in the church were glad to see me back and welcomed me.
 
I am confused. Your husband is judging you for missing Mass; or for going to Confession, which he does not believe in?.

Either way, the issue is his and not yours. Pray for him and set a good example.
 
I think he judges me in all areas of my life like I am not good enough. However, I know that I am good enough as I have received so many blessings during my faith journey. I am loving this journey. I am more at peace with myself and I just want to continue to build my relationship with the Lord.
 
I’m thanking the merciful Jesus for you and thank you for your story. It is wonderful to come home. My non-catholic husband kids me about confession… I just laugh and go ahead. I’m sure he wonders what conversation goes on in there… ❓
 
My husband was angry with me for not going to church when I stopped for a period of time. Confession, he feels that he does not have to go. But, I went as I felt that it was something that I needed to do.
 
May you to continue to grow and deepen your faith. May you inspire others including your husband.

I know marriage relationships vary greatly but my wife’s journey has inspired me to more.
 
Are you familiar with these two “social media” terms in the Catholic workbook? Cafeteria Catholic and Cultural Catholic.
An unfortunate number of “Trads” are Cultural Catholics, neatly disguised under kerchiefs in some cases. A large number of Novus Ordo types are Cafeteria Catholics.
Some Cultural Catholics make confession an element of the faith life that they live devoid of a true relationship with Jesus while following legalistic views of religion as a comfortable norm. They are under the grace of God and we should not fear for their souls. However, the metanoia that you have undergone, the awareness of Jesus in His Mystical Body, His Presence in The Eucharist and the priest in persona Christi in the confessional; this joy, this grace, this warmth in the glow of agape love, the pure love of God, this is not theirs. Pray they reach a hand into His side as each walks up the aisle to receive, some day, today and every day. Ask God to help them see His smile upon them.
Cafeteria Catholics, a totally different breed. Ask God to perform miracles and exorcise the demons that torment their souls.
I leave how these “definitions” may be relevant to your post about confession up to the reader.
That is, use of these terms may often be a matter of scandal, or a near occasion of scandal, at best.

Tada.
 
Thank you for sharing this. I am somewhat confused when you mean cafeteria catholic, what does that mean. I have heard of Cradle Catholic. I just know that I am more at peace than I have been for most of my adult life. It is such a blessing for me to know Jesus through the Eucharist. Lent was such a beautiful experience for me and my faith understanding grew during this time and I come to love the Lord Jesus more and more.
 
Others may have a more detailed response. It is basically one who wants to pick and choose which teachings of the Catholic Church to believe.

Cafeteria is closed, no picky, no choosey.
 
Regarding your feeling of peace received by coming home, let me say this as some of my students may have put this, “True that!” “That” is what should be meant at the kiss of peace after consecration during mass when we offer the Peace of Christ to our neighbors.
Grace is a gift, it is not our own and our egos argue against such an interior knowledge and experience coming from outside of ourselves. This peace is a grace of God and nothing we do generates it. Rather God gifts it freely from Calvary and His Blood shed on the cross. Good Friday just covered us with that sorrow welling in His Passion and now like the new life arising in Spring the Eastertide wells up waves of Divine Mercy stirring in the depth of His unfathomable love for us. Some who are sacramentalized but not evangelized are unaware of these stirrings in the very soul at the heart of each person. She does not hear God speaking from within her own soul. Praise God He is truly Risen and that He has brought you where you hear Him in your life.
Paul tells us there is nothing that can separate us from the love of Christ. He also warns us about the woe of one who falls away. Pray always in gratitude and ask that you may never be separated. Many have felt amnesia, lost touch with Him, after His grace abounded in them. Not to confuse this blindness with the dark night. These are night and day to take advantage of the obvious metaphor.
You may soon come to experience the dark night. I hope you find the right spiritual advisor as you continue to draw near to Jesus. Consider who you may believe and trust with matters of your soul. CA Forums is not on this graph, ☺️
 
Welcome back to the church! I will pray for your husband that he let’s go of whatever is troubling him and finds joy in his heart that you have come back to faith. Sometimes I think we (people) can be harsher on the ones who are nearest and dearest to them without realising so than they ought to be. God bless.
 
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