Backing out of RCIA again

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hello

My name is Ashley W. I have been going to a catholic church for a while now, off and on. At times I seem to want to be there, other times I walk away. The priest that knows me, he is a patience person, and puts up with a lot of my ****, not towards him, but towards the church.

As I said in my title, I have backed out of RCIA again for the second time. And it makes me very frustrated. I at times can be on fire, and want to join the Catholic church that day, and other times I’m ready to curse God and walk away from all religion.

I don’t like thinking this way, but with my mental illness and even on meds, I struggle.

I’ve tried to explain it to the priest, but I’m not sure he understands, and I’m not the best at communication.

What should I do?

When I walk away, I just want to be back. And there are so many questions I have, and no one at the church, besides the secretary, seems to want to give me the time. And even that is short. I don’t have any co workers that are catholic, and I don’t have any family members either. And I’m not the best at friendships. I feel like I’m on this path alone. I want to do RCIA, but there is so much I don’t understand, and the priest, I imagine, is busy also, plus I don’t think it is his job to be a mentor for me.

Any advice? Besides screaming…

-Ashley W
 
batman6489 said:
hello

My name is Ashley W. I have been going to a catholic church for a while now, off and on. At times I seem to want to be there, other times I walk away. The priest that knows me, he is a patience person, and puts up with a lot of my ****, not towards him, but towards the church.

As I said in my title, I have backed out of RCIA again for the second time. And it makes me very frustrated. I at times can be on fire, and want to join the Catholic church that day, and other times I’m ready to curse God and walk away from all religion.

I don’t like thinking this way, but with my mental illness and even on meds, I struggle.

I’ve tried to explain it to the priest, but I’m not sure he understands, and I’m not the best at communication.

What should I do?

When I walk away, I just want to be back. And there are so many questions I have, and no one at the church, besides the secretary, seems to want to give me the time. And even that is short. I don’t have any co workers that are catholic, and I don’t have any family members either. And I’m not the best at friendships. I feel like I’m on this path alone. I want to do RCIA, but there is so much I don’t understand, and the priest, I imagine, is busy also, plus I don’t think it is his job to be a mentor for me.

Any advice? Besides screaming…

-Ashley W
Click to expand...
Try looking at it this way. A person can be all over the board on things, can be up and down emotionally. Look at the Church as the steady hand, no matter how you feel, no matter how angry you get, you can always, always…count on the stability and truth on what the Church teaches. People are people and everyone is imperfect in some way, but the Church you can count on. Take the time and read and study what the Church teaches and even though things may not be easy, you can know that it will be right. It may seem hard at times, but stay the course.
 
Being what we think is “on fire” isn’t always good, and being what we think is “cold” isn’t always bad. When I reflect back on myself - not at all so long ago - on moments when I felt on fire, I now feel that I was arrogant at times during those moments.

It is entirely your right to look around different parishes to see if you can find spiritual counsel that is more suitable to where you currently are. Or you can continue where you are. We can wish all day long for us to be what we wish we were, but at the present moment, you are what you are. God takes a chunk of wood that is twisted and wild and he takes his time with it, patiently and carefully, until he eventually forms it into something beautiful. Just think about what you should do for the reminder of this evening, or day, and do it, and then go to bed and pray to God to help you the next day as well.
 
Well, Ashley, if you have questions, you have come to the right place 😉 Welcome to CAF 😃

It is very natural to feel up and down about things generally, and when it comes to Catholicism, there are other forces which will try to pull us away. The world, the flesh, and the devil… But the Church wants you to really feel sure that you want to enter as well.

You can look up a lot of things here, and you can ask a lot of questions.Some of your questions may spark inexplicable arguments, please don’t worry about that!
 
batman6489 said:
What should I do?

Any advice?
Click to expand...
I have learned that not all rcia programs are the same. Ideally, you should be paired with a Catholic mentor, called a sponsor. Maybe you can ask for such a helper. They go to classes with you and help answer questions. I am glad you are here asking for help. Tell the priest that, that you are desperately seeking answers to questions. He may know of someone in the parish that can come along side and help you get back into rcia 🙂

Don’t give up.
 
batman6489 said:
When I walk away, I just want to be back…
Click to expand...
Just hold onto that thought, Ashley. Think about why you want to enter into the Catholic Church, into the RCIA Program. As other people have said, you’ve come to the right place to have your questions answered, and perhaps you could try making new friends in the parish church? Are there any parish groups you could go along to and try out? Keep us posted, and God Bless.

Matt.
 
The priest would love to mentor you. Call the parish office and make an appointment to speak with him. Making an appointment will give him the opportunity to set an hour aside to talk to you without interruptions and you can explain your cares and concerns and also ask any questions. The Holy Spirit is calling you into the Catholic Church; don’t worry, He is very patient and will wait for you. :grouphug:
 
Hi Ashley,

I agree with Casilda’s post upthread, where she recommends that you ask for help.

I would also recommend doing that, where if I were you, I would ask the RCIA director for help.

In RCIA, as Casilda said, you are paired with a sponsor.

You could also try talking to your Pastor again, so that he knows about your situation, too. He may know of someone in the parish who may be able to help, as Casilda also mentioned.
 
Dearest Ashley,
The Holy Spirit is pulling your heart strings to the church. Your RCIA mentor should get answers for you. Big ones ask an apologist.
There is God. Jesus was sent here, as God’s Son, to deliver a message for a new covenant… Jesus was written about by Josephus and in Roman writings. He existed. Believing the Bible encourages us and strengthens our spirits. Communion is an over the top experience.
Family is important to you. Finish RCIA. Make yourself complete it. It discusses some cool things. Logos is the written Word for all. Ramos is the Word for me as an individual message.
What is the source of your anger? WHY DID YOUR BIOLOGICAL FAMILY REJECT YOU!! Look at why did my adopted parents WANT ME??You are so blessed. Just like Moses. He was pulled from a river and you were pulled out of loneliness.
Always move forward. You are writing your Book of Life book. Some chapters will be happy and some will be sad. But, God gives us hope and courage and grace to get through hard times.
Your chemical imbalance is a o problem you have to live with. I am cyclothymic moving up to hypomanic… BLAH. I am more on depressive side. No energy, fat. Old. Depression is anger turned inward. You can yell at your Dad.You can yell at God. Why didn’t your grandparents raise you? Once you get through those situations, you’ll be calmer. CHOOSE HAPPINESS. PLAY Christian music to settle. Music calms the savage beast, CHUCKLE. Memorize the Serenity Prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can
THE COURAGE to change the things I must
The Wisdom to know the difference. Google it for accuracy.
GO to RCIA. IF YOU GET RESTLESS GO TO THE BATHROOM FOR A BREAK OR OUTSIDE FOR AIR. Choose to walk back in. .
in Christs love
tweedlealice
 
batman6489 said:
What should I do?

When I walk away, I just want to be back. And there are so many questions I have, and no one at the church, besides the secretary, seems to want to give me the time. And even that is short. I don’t have any co workers that are catholic, and I don’t have any family members either. And I’m not the best at friendships. I feel like I’m on this path alone. I want to do RCIA, but there is so much I don’t understand, and the priest, I imagine, is busy also, plus I don’t think it is his job to be a mentor for me.

Any advice? Besides screaming…

-Ashley W
Click to expand...
Hi Ashley,

What kind of questions do you have? I’m sure most of them have already been answered on this forum. People here love to answer the same questions over and over again. It helps to reinforce our faith.

Have you tried posting any questions?

Have you tried using the search feature up above?

How about the Catholic.com side of the website? There’s some amazing articles over there.

I found over the past several years that listening to Catholic Answers Live has helped answer a lot of the difficulties people have with the Church. Have you tried listening to any of the shows?

I also, like Called to Communion and Open line Monday. All of those shows are informative and I can listen to the old Podcasts while I am doing my work around the Farm.

Hope this helps.

God Bless

PS. Some people don’t realize that being in RCIA is not committing to enter the Church at Easter. You could go through the program and tell your instructor you are not ready and would like to go through the program again next year.
 
Casilda said:
I have learned that not all rcia programs are the same. Ideally, you should be paired with a Catholic mentor, called a sponsor. Maybe you can ask for such a helper. They go to classes with you and help answer questions.
Don’t give up.
Click to expand...
I’d like to underline that: Not all RCIA programs are the same. There are a few dioceses (Nebraska, for example) that try to standardize programs, but for the most part, it’s every parish for itself. This leads to…I trying to think of a polite word…“unevenness” shall we say.

Certainly the same would go for sponsors–some might be very knowledgeable, others not so much. Some might be objective, others might have a personal / political agenda. As anyone can see who has a look at some of these threads, there is a great range of opinions among people who identify as Catholics.

My own suggestion is to post questions on this forum, although that will almost inevitably lead to a vast range of answers. But at least you can see the range of answers, and pick those you agree with.
 
Perhaps you can have your therapist or psychologist talk to your priest and/or the RCIA director to help them understand your situation better. Your therapist may be able to advise on your limitations and suggest strategies to help you move forward.
 
batman6489 said:
hello

My name is Ashley W. I have been going to a catholic church for a while now, off and on. At times I seem to want to be there, other times I walk away. The priest that knows me, he is a patience person, and puts up with a lot of my ****, not towards him, but towards the church.

As I said in my title, I have backed out of RCIA again for the second time. And it makes me very frustrated. I at times can be on fire, and want to join the Catholic church that day, and other times I’m ready to curse God and walk away from all religion.

I don’t like thinking this way, but with my mental illness and even on meds, I struggle.

I’ve tried to explain it to the priest, but I’m not sure he understands, and I’m not the best at communication.

What should I do?

When I walk away, I just want to be back. And there are so many questions I have, and no one at the church, besides the secretary, seems to want to give me the time. And even that is short. I don’t have any co workers that are catholic, and I don’t have any family members either. And I’m not the best at friendships. I feel like I’m on this path alone. I want to do RCIA, but there is so much I don’t understand, and the priest, I imagine, is busy also, plus I don’t think it is his job to be a mentor for me.

Any advice? Besides screaming…

-Ashley W
Click to expand...
If you have a mental health problem the best place to be is united to the Catholic Church and Jesus Christ. The Church and Christ will help you through it. Don’t do it to get something out of it though, do it for the love of God. You may not understand what the Church teaches on specific things, but do not worry, you will gain understanding if you keep looking. Trust in the Catholic Church! The Church is truly Jesus body.

This is a book that will help you but it may be a difficult read.
Introduction to the Science of Mental Health by Fr.Chad Ripperger
sensustraditionis.org/psychology.html
 
batman6489 said:
hello

My name is Ashley W. I have been going to a catholic church for a while now, off and on. At times I seem to want to be there, other times I walk away. The priest that knows me, he is a patience person, and puts up with a lot of my ****, not towards him, but towards the church.

As I said in my title, I have backed out of RCIA again for the second time. And it makes me very frustrated. I at times can be on fire, and want to join the Catholic church that day, and other times I’m ready to curse God and walk away from all religion.

I don’t like thinking this way, but with my mental illness and even on meds, I struggle.

I’ve tried to explain it to the priest, but I’m not sure he understands, and I’m not the best at communication.

What should I do?

When I walk away, I just want to be back. And there are so many questions I have, and no one at the church, besides the secretary, seems to want to give me the time. And even that is short. I don’t have any co workers that are catholic, and I don’t have any family members either. And I’m not the best at friendships. I feel like I’m on this path alone. I want to do RCIA, but there is so much I don’t understand, and the priest, I imagine, is busy also, plus I don’t think it is his job to be a mentor for me.

Any advice? Besides screaming…

-Ashley W
Click to expand...
hi Ashley, it’s a difficult journey, but don’t give up.

like others have said, you should have a sponsor for RCIA and ideally they should be someone who is knowledgeable enough about the faith and striving to live a holy life.

you may also post questions on this board as well.

however, if you are not comfortable with asking certain things, feel free to send me a private message. I understand a lot of where you are coming from

God bless
 
batman6489 said:
hello

My name is Ashley W. I have been going to a catholic church for a while now, off and on. At times I seem to want to be there, other times I walk away. The priest that knows me, he is a patience person, and puts up with a lot of my ****, not towards him, but towards the church.

As I said in my title, I have backed out of RCIA again for the second time. And it makes me very frustrated. I at times can be on fire, and want to join the Catholic church that day, and other times I’m ready to curse God and walk away from all religion.

I don’t like thinking this way, but with my mental illness and even on meds, I struggle.

I’ve tried to explain it to the priest, but I’m not sure he understands, and I’m not the best at communication.

What should I do?

When I walk away, I just want to be back. And there are so many questions I have, and no one at the church, besides the secretary, seems to want to give me the time. And even that is short. I don’t have any co workers that are catholic, and I don’t have any family members either. And I’m not the best at friendships. I feel like I’m on this path alone. I want to do RCIA, but there is so much I don’t understand, and the priest, I imagine, is busy also, plus I don’t think it is his job to be a mentor for me.

Any advice? Besides screaming…

-Ashley W
Click to expand...
THANKS for your candor:)

Please look for a Private message from me {PJM]; I might be able to assist you

PRAY MUCH

God Bless & GUIDE YOU Ashley

Patrick
 
St. Dympha, you are the patron saint of those who suffer with mental illness and nervous disorders. Please pray for our friend Ashley W as she struggles to enter the Church. Thank you for your intercessions on Ashley’s behalf. Amen.
 
1ke said:
Perhaps you can have your therapist or psychologist talk to your priest and/or the RCIA director to help them understand your situation better. Your therapist may be able to advise on your limitations and suggest strategies to help you move forward.
Click to expand...
I think this is a great idea.

I’ve known others who have similar mental health issues who have committed to join the Catholic Church too impulsively, then left just as impulsively when they hit one of the inevitable snags, anything from doctrine to parish life struggles. So I tend to caution people who have these additional mental and emotional burdens to take things slowly and thoughtfully. Yet I don’t want to put anyone off either. The idea of having extra support from people who thoroughly understand what you’re up against seems to be a reasonable middle ground. I’ll pray for you. Best of luck! 🙂
 
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